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Flashback: Best Friends Forever...


We've all had best friends.. well, at least the vast majority of us. The guys or gals we call the minute something exciting happens like our crush actually talks to us. The one who knows almost all of our secrets and we plan elaborate adventures and escapades with. Whether we were friends from birth or from the 11th grade... or if we met randomly on the street, they always hold a very valid place in our hearts.

College comes along and sometimes that means planning the next four years of your life with your BFF, talking about which parties to go to or which sororities to rush... sometimes it means parting ways for two vastly different roads ahead. Distance as short as 30 miles can have an impact on a friendship or relationship. Couples break up and decide to "see other people"... that's sort of what friendships do, too... though a lot of times it's not something you actually have a sit-down discussion about. These things just happen. Maybe it's the gradual drift. We start creating ourselves as we're able to see our full potential. Our attitudes, wardrobes, and circle of friends morph into something entirely different. So where does that leave our former best friends?


I guess I'm just thinking about this a lot as one of my very best friends in the world has moved off to grad school, some 700+ miles away and we never had that "break up" conversation. I grew apart from most of the girls I was incredibly close with in high school, but she was the only girl I managed to keep any real contact with. Still, our lives changed... boys came and went, degrees were earned and new adventures planned. I was so reluctant to ever say or do anything about it because I didn't want to admit that things were different... that we were undoubtedly drifting apart. It's so scary and sad to think about! This was the girl I basically lived with during the summers, the one I battled heartbreaks with, the one who went on a whirlwind 2,000+ mile roadtrip for no real reason with me... yet everything felt so strange and unfamiliar.

Even though this isn't much of a "story," I hope it is one that has a happy ending. We have talked about it and said our peace.... hopefully this means good things to come. More frequent conversations so we no longer feel like strangers, visits when the other happens to be around, and handwritten letters and postcards. We have both agreed to put forth more effort... to try and actually stop that gradual drift.

I've managed to let go of so many people I was close to in life, but there are those select few that you just can't seem to shake. 


My question for you is: Do you have any best friends? What do you love about them? Drifting apart after high school/college is inevitable, but how did you handle this? Do you still talk to any people you went to school with? and lastly, how do you make friends if you're out of the education scene? 

It's safe to say this girl could always use some more friends! I love everyone I've met through the blogosphere, but wish that you all lived so much closer! Here's to growing up without growing apart.

18 comments:

  1. My best friend lives up north noe since she's in college & lives on campus. It sucks because we've been best friends since 6th grade but we do Skype sessions & text/tweet each other. Thank goodness for internet!!

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  2. I've had the same 6 best friends since kindergarden. Some of us are closer than others, but we're all close. We are all about to enter our senior year of College and it's been an interesting few years. We some how managed to not go to any of the same schools, which I think turned out to be a good thing, but the one thing we've done is keep a private facebook group.

    It's been 3+ years, and it's still the best way to update each other on what is going on in our lives.

    it's probably about 1,000 pages worth of writing by now, but it's been the best.

    This was the first summer I didn't go back "home" and it was a real wake up call to the different directions our lives are going, but at the same time allowed me to know that they will always be there.

    Making friends is really hard though! Especially when you aren't forced into it, with something like school.

    Sorry that was a long response, but I feel so lucky to have my girls, that I felt I would share!!

    Have a good weekend!

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  3. I met my best friend Chelsie when I was in 6th grade. For years we were inseperable. You didn't know me if you didn't know her too. Once we got to highschool everything started to change. She dropped out and I stayed. Then for the next 3 to 4 years we never spoke, never called, never checked on each other or anything. I had heard of the violent and horrible things that she was doing to herself but I wouldn't believe any of them. About 2 weeks ago I randomly started thinking about her and going through our old memories. My phone rang and sure enough it was her. We talked for hours as if we never spent any time apart and quickly became blood sisters again. Ever since we have not waisted one minute away from each other.


    It's funny how you can lose people in life but somehow there's always going to be that one person you'll never seem to be able to let go of. God happened to pull us back together at just the perfect timing, when both of our lives were falling apart and we had no one. It's amazing how we aren't related at all..yet I can love her like we were connected at birth. Friendships are amazing, and some, I believe, are everlasting.


    xo
    Lyndsey
    (sorry for such a long comment..it's so hard to explain things with a few words!)

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  4. wow very true to the heart post, one of my bff moved to cali almost a year now, and I miss her like hell from time to time we call or text each other even if its only to say 'hey ho' our lovely phrase lol

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  5. This definitely hits home with me. It's such a tough thing to realize that you're drifting apart. I've had one of my close friends since I was about 2 years old. So we've been friends forever. Lately I feel like we just don't have anything in common anymore. We are definitely trying to hang out more to keep that gradual drift from happening.

    I think it gets harder to find new friends as you get older. Most of the girl friends I've become close with since high school I've met through my boyfriend. They are all his close girl friends from high school!

    Sorry for the novel but I really enjoyed reading this post! Have a wonderful weekend! :)

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  6. What a sweet post. My BFFs are back home in England :( ...but I agree with what you said about wanting to live closer to blogging pals. I have 'met' some great friends through the blogging world.

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  7. I've known my one true best friend since 7th grade. We went through high school and middle school together and have been there for each other for everything. When we both moved away for college (in different states), we didn't talk nearly as much, but when we did see each other, it would be like no time had passed and we just picked up where we left off, there was never any awkwardness though a lot of time had passed. We saw each other through heartbreaks, heartaches, and general tough times. The hardest time so far was her decision to move to the Czech Republic so she could marry the love of her life. Knowing that her move to Europe was permanent has ended up making our friendship stronger, and we talk more now (via skype) than we have before. We're extensions of each other and I know my life would be so different if she wasn't my best friend.

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  8. This is something I've always struggled with too - I hated to have to let people go and would try and hold on and get upset when things just needed to be let go. I spent two years travelling and met some of the most AMAZING people ever, and you would become so close is such a short space of time. Then when you have to seperate it literally hurts. Some people I've kept in touch with and have seen since, some people I'll probably never see again. But it has helped me to start looking at things in a different way. Instead of being sad that I don't see these people anymore, I consider myself blessed to have been friends with them and have them in my life at all. And it really has helped me loads to change my thinking to this way. Also, facebook is a great tool to be honest. Sometimes I hate it, but it is a really great way to keep in touch!

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  9. Yay 'Now and Then' is one of my favourite films. And funny enough one I watched for the first time, years ago, at one of my best friend's sleepovers. I've definately drifted away from some friends but suprisingly the people I have stayed close to are my best friends from school. None of us live near each other anymore and we don't speak all that often. We don't need to, when we all meet up it's like we've never been apart. I think that's a sign of true friendship. I was even bridesmaid at my best friends wedding in may, along with another of my best friends from school. I blogged about it here (old school photos included). My uni friends I stay in touch with but a few who I though I'd always be best friends with I've definately drifted apart from. But I also now have new best friends. I think you'll always stay friends with those your supposed to.

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  10. Last month I moved all the way from England to Australia, and left behind all of my best friends that i've had since I was about 4 or 5.
    I didn't really have a choice in the matter (I'm 16), so it was really hard to say goodbye.
    What I've learnt is that if they really are your true friends, they will make the effort to stay in touch and stop the gradual drifting apart :)
    I'mn so glad that some of them have made the effort to stay in touch, and I think that moving apart doesn't have to mean moving away from a friendship too :)

    Thanks for posting this xxx

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  11. My very best friend lives way up north in Norway and I live in Oslo, which is a huge gap. Yet we have managed to maintain our friendship through all these years and she is still the one I call when I have an 'emergency'. And when we see each other it's like we were never apart at all.
    Of course I have other friends as well that live closer and that mean just as much to me, but it is something special with people you have known almost your entire life. Guess that is why we keep hanging on :)

    Hope you and your friend are able to keep it together as well, it is possible!

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  12. oh my gosh... "Some friendships we just cant seem to shake"....

    That rings so true to me.... I had the same groups of friends since kindergarden (picking up others...grade 5,6 and the start of our high school)... Then we all moved to different areas for university (college) - kept in touch, went to each others birthdays... things were a little different - but whenever we were together it felt so easy...

    Until 08/09 and we I had a falling out with one of the girls - the other two (one of my bestest BFs) followed... and now they're all engaged and one (my bestest BF) is married. I was invited to her engagement party, then uninvited... sad hey?

    but you know what? even though they dissed me and were rude, mean and downright nasty. I still think about them, and wonder if they think about me. I even have dreams about them. it sucks! :(

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  13. i miss all of my best friends, every single one that came and went. however, im really happy i knew them and im happy to meet the next bunch!

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  14. Yes I have best friends. There's four of us and we all met at uni in 2004, I have other close friends but these are the main 4 however they all live across the UK. LB is 30 miles in one direction Serena is 30 in the other direction and Kewey is about 100 North and then when she does her PGCE teaching course in September she's moving further away :(. Then I have Ruby, she lives in Australia - now I think it's possible but you might not think it is - She's my best friend - we met via Twitter and because email pals. Maybe it's because we've never met in person and don't live in each others pockets that means we are closer, she's a Christian and so we can talk about bible stuff and our walks with God as well as all the normal things like what films we've seen and boys (well her fiance and my hubby lol.) Hopefully we will meet IRL but if we don't it's okay because we are still friends.

    I think to a certain degree me and the friends I grew up with have changed and moved on. Some of us still talk and keep in touch but it tends to be general chit chat about how we are and what we're doing and stuff like that - nothing deep and meaningful.

    I have a friend called Cat and we've been friends of some description since she came home from the hospital having been born - now that she's back from uni and hasn't been able to work for the last year or so we've got back in touch and properly chat now - we're both book worms and so keep sharing our latest reviews lol.
    A friend I've had since birth

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  15. This post really hit home with me as well. I knew a girl that moved to my elementary school in the first grade and we were pretty much joined at the hip. When high school hit, we kind of separated a bit, but were still friends. I guess after senior trip, we really never saw each other again. I think most of it is due to the fact that I really hated high school. I was just always the girl that people were talking about or making up rumors about, and sometimes when I hear stories about girls being bullied and killing themselves, I can really relate... I mean it's hard enough growing up, you don't need anyone else making it harder for you.

    Either way, once I graduated, I really just changed into a different person- I just started to be ME and not really caring what anyone else thought anymore. And part of that was just dropping everyone I went to high school with, because they reminded me of a time when I was miserable. I'm still with the guy I started dating when I was 16 because well... I guess he's the only one that really knew me & accepted me all along. Yeah, there are 2 or 3 people that I miss so much because we were friends for like 13+ years, and it's so hard to make girlfriends, but I guess that's what happens. I mean we do "keep up" with each other via facebook, but it's definitely not the same. I know a large part of that is my fault because I just dropped a lot of people after HS, but it has to be partially their fault as well-- they heard all of the mean things people said about me behind my back & never once took up for me. So now I've just chalked it all up as a learning experience and am just trying to be happy being me :]

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  16. I have my best friends from highschool but now we are in college is very difficult for us to get together. And I'm afraid it'll get worse in the future, each of us is taking different roads. But the important is that no matter how long it passes between each gathering when we are together is like no time has passed, we are still those 14 year old girls.

    http://asourgirl.blogspot.com/

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  17. I have gone through this so many times, and actually my best friend from college moved back, but has a new best friend. It is hurtful but the grown up in me says "they have more in common and it makes sense." but where does that leave me? the second to be called, not hanging out every other day? it's hurtful and hard. I'm stuck between being a grownup and not being grownup enough that it's hard to just get another BFF. sigh. I have penpals so that's nice. I just miss adventures and having that one person who i always sent mail to, and who i bought small gifts for like a cute necklace or fun little knicknacks and erasers. :( good luck and I love your blog!

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  18. My so called "best friend" of 10 years is only at times there for me, I don't know really know anymore.. I'm a very emotional honest and awesome friend, I would give my last shirt but I never seem to meet anyone that treats me just as good. I wish you'd live closer too cause I know that you are an awesome friend.
    Oh and I do feel lonely a lot..

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