// 4 Ways To Feel Good About The Future In These Uncertain Times

It’s safe to say that you’re living through one of the most disruptive and challenging times in modern history. Not since the Second World War have people faced such huge disruption to their day-to-day lives on such a mass scale. As such, even as the gears of the world start to lurch forward once more and we start thinking about maybe going back to normal, you may not be feeling all that optimistic. After all, you’ve spent months under lockdown. You’ve done your best to use your time as productively as possible. You’ve turned your attention inwards and dedicated your energy to creating a home and garden that you can fall in love with all over again. You’ve learned to work productively from home, you’ve reacquainted yourself with old hobbies and tried to deal with your anxieties through creative outlets.

Still, with at least a few weeks more of social distancing and isolation from our friends and family to go, it’s understandable that you may not be feeling too bright and hopeful about the uncertain future that lies ahead. Nonetheless, while we can’t change the current state of affairs, we can change our outlook. 

Try to gain a better understanding of what the future holds

Possibly the greatest fear we face is that of the unknown. It’s easy to see the future as a mysterious and forbidding prospect. A mousetrap that’s just waiting to snap shut on us when we least expect it. However, while we can never completely predict the future, we can always gain a better understanding of what the future holds. 

There are lots of ways in which we can do this. We can keep more abreast of what’s going on in the present, and gain more data on which to predict our futures, or we can lean into more ancient and mystical traditions. Getting into the subtle art of major arcana tarot cards can be a fun hobby which may yield insights into what tomorrow holds for us. As tempting as it may be to bury our heads in the sand, this can only exacerbate our fear of the future. Whatever methods we choose to familiarize ourselves with it, we should learn to embrace it.

Teach yourself to accept what you can’t control

Most of us feel better about the future when we’re able to control it. That’s why we establish schedules and stick to them, even when we don’t have our bosses looking over our shoulders anymore. As such, the seemingly random and chaotic nature of the world around us can seem intimidating since it’s so beyond our ability to control. 

However, that doesn’t mean that we should live in fear of what we can’t assert our will over. 

To quote Tony Robbins, “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with”. We gain nothing by treating uncertainty like a fickle beast that could bite us at any moment. We need to make ourselves more comfortable around it. Of course, this can’t be done overnight. But by training ourselves to think in new ways, we can become more comfortable with the aspects of our lives and our futures which are outside of our control. 

This is much easier when we...

Avoid catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is one of the less helpful survival instincts which our psyches form in order to protect ourselves from being caught out by uncertainty. We get into the habit of automatically assuming that the worst case scenario is always an inevitability. Needless to say, this can cause us an awful lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety. Fortunately, with time we can teach ourselves to kick this habit. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT is an extremely useful process that conditions us to challenge negative or pessimistic thoughts and shed the cold light of reason on them. Most of our greatest anxieties tend to wither at least slightly when subject to scrutiny and logic. Take a look at this CBT worksheet to help condition yourself against catastrophizing. 

Make sure you always have something to look forward to

Finally, never underestimate the power of anticipation. The future always looks rosier when you have something nice to look forward to. So, if your circumstances aren’t providing that for you, you need to provide it for yourself. It needn’t be a big thing. Planning to watch a good movie or get stuck into a great book at the end of a long day can help. Promising yourself a long hot soak in the tub can help. Arranging a long video chat with an old friend can help. There are no wrong answers. Whatever brings you joy and happiness. 

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// Exciting Goals That Will Change Your Life

There is one thing that all humans have in common: the need to achieve. We all have a purpose here, and what that is isn’t always clear, which is why we set ourselves some goals in the hope that it becomes clear later on. Life goals are not the same for everyone: what one person wants won’t be the same as everyone else, and that’s okay!

To have a goal is to have a dream, as cheesy as that sounds. It’s in these goals that we craft our futures and we choose the paths that take us to each of our wishes in turn, making them come true one by one. For example, you may wish to move to the other side of the world one day, and you’d put in place the education that you need to get there and the job to pay for it, too. When you achieve the goals that you have, the feeling of satisfaction that you get from it is worth every single worry about what you can achieve in the first place. 

There are some goals out there that are specific and others that are very much open to interpretation, and it’s up to you how you do it. So, a goal that could be open to interpretation is the one where you decide to move the other side of the world, as you wouldn't have specified where. You could then align one goal with another: emigration with buying a house, for example. Perhaps your line of work is particularly popular in Singapore, and you could buy Singapore property and really make a whole new life for yourself. You may not have considered moving abroad, but perhaps when you think about it, you may be open to the idea. Goals offer personal development as much as they do adventure, and knowing what your goals could be will give you a target to aim for. 

So, with this in mind, let’s take a closer look at some goals that could really shape your life and bring you joy at the same time.
Clear Glass Bottle on Brown Wooden Table
  • Aim To: Do What You Love
It’s the hardest decision to make: deciding on what you want to do, what you love to do, in life. You may not have any idea about it until you start getting out there and experiencing life for all that it is. You could hate your current job, but instead of wallowing in the negativity, you could get out there and really experiment with other things. Figure out what you love to do and get out and do it! There’s nothing stopping you from going on your own journey of self-discovery.
  • Aim To: Put Yourself First
Most people wouldn't put this on their list of life goals, but they should. Self-care may be shouted in magazines, but it’s something that you should be paying attention to - big time. You need to consider how self-care is going to give you a break from the everyday stresses in life. You need to put your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing first - and put yourself first more often than you don't. 
  • Aim To: Contribute
What do you offer in life? Who are you helping and how are you making a difference? These are questions that you should really be considering. Your life is going to have meaning, but it’s only going to have meaning if you know how to make a positive impact on other people. Donate the things that you don't use, and love your friends and family hard. You can be a person that puts themselves first and still be compassionate to the difficulties that others are having. It’s entirely possible to make sure that you are giving and loving, and still want to do things for yourself. 
  • Aim To: Enjoy Life
Are you going to get out there and get an education? If you haven't thought about it, perhaps start to make a list of pros and cons about going back to school. You may be one of the lucky ones who knows what they want to do in life from the moment that they are in school, but if not there’s nothing stopping you working it out now and going and doing it. You’re not a failure for not knowing what you want from life at the age of 18. Instead, you need to think about what you want to do with yourself, and then go and do it. The safest, best way to enjoy your life is to know what you want and go and do it. It’s the best way to feel fulfilled.

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// Let Light Into Your Lockdown By Getting Your Garden Just Right

The chances are that this year’s turned out a lot different than you thought it would when you were making plans back in January. Right now, you should be preparing for the perfect summer holiday and starting to enjoy fun in the sun with your favorites after a long, dreary winter. 

Instead, you’re looking down the barrel of a lockdown that looks set to last and staring wistfully at the glorious blue skies. It’s cutting, that’s for sure, not least because the sun waited until we couldn’t enjoy it to make an appearance. But, the good news is that all this madness doesn’t mean you can’t still catch a tan while those rays are out to play.

If you have a garden, then you’re one of the lucky ones. Okay, it might be cocktails on Malaga beach, but it’s better than staring at your four walls. Even if your outdoor space isn’t quite up to scratch right now, you’ve also got the luxury of having time on your hands to get it lockdown ready. 

Without further ado, then, keep reading to find out how exactly you can let light into your lockdown by turning attention to your garden space at last. 

Tackle those tasks you’ve been putting off
We’ve all got things we should’ve done in the garden ages ago, but it often seems pointless when there’s a perfectly good pub garden calling. Now, though, with that option off the cards, you’re in the ideal position to finally tackle those annoying garden niggles. It might be that you take this time to replace a fallen fence, or maybe you just get around to at last planting those seeds your mum gave you like five years ago. This could even be your opportunity to clean out your garden house so that you’ve got the outside den you always dreamt of.

The technicalities don’t really matter. The whole point is that you take this chance to get outside and get creating the dream garden you’ve never had until now. This provides long-lasting satisfaction, but more importantly, it gets you out right now. And, with the sun shining, that’s about the most important thing you could ask for. 

Create garden zones

Zoning your garden is always a fantastic way to add space, variety, and a little bit of spice. But, never has this technique been more vital than it is now. Let’s face it - even us lucky garden owners are sure to get bored staring at those same four fences every day. It’s hardly the hustle and bustle you’re used to when you’re sunning it up abroad!

Admittedly, creating garden zones isn’t some miracle fix that’s going to entertain you like touching down in Spain would have. But, it does at least ensure that you can use different sections of your garden as you fancy. Never underestimate how refreshing that option will be in a month or so!

Something as simple as zoning your garden with different layers could work wonders here, or you might want to go all out with different coloured plants in each area. You could even opt for au natural areas and more manicured sections. The point is that variety is the spice of life, and a zoned lawn might just become the spice of your lockdown while it lasts. 

Set up your perfect patio
Whether you’ve got a separate patio zone or are just making use of some paving slabs you’ve already got in place, setting up your perfect patio is also vital. This is, after all, where you’ll catch those all-important rays. You could even start to eat al fresco out here to mix things up a bit and get more fresh air into your days. Either way, you need a well-placed patio area to make it possible. 

Firstly, this involves cleaning up any weeds that have grown between those paving slabs and generally trimming back any overgrowth that we too often let take over outside spaces like these. Then, you simply need to look at sites like netvouchercodes.co.uk for the best possible garden furniture deals of the moment. Lucky for you, with gardening companies now relying solely on online orders, you could well bag yourself some fantastic bargains. Then, you just need to work out where the sun hits to make sure that your new lounger or dining set is in the ideal place. And, of course, check out a bit of Pinterest inspo to make sure your patio looks the part. Bathing by the pool, eat your heart out. Get this just right, and you might even find that your mates prefer to head here than to the beach when you can finally see them again. 

Invite as much wildlife as you can
Aside from the odd bird, you’re probably feeling a bit deprived of wildlife right now. That’s why it’s also vital you take this time to think about how you can invite more into your garden. As well as helping species in need, turning your attention here could see you feeling like things are a lot more normal. After all, the bees don’t know that there’s a pandemic going on. They’re just doing their thing, and watching them could be surprisingly peaceful. 

With that in mind, head to sites like eden.uktv.co.uk for a bit of inspiration. Bird feeders are the most obvious option here, and they’re easy enough to order online or even find in your local supermarket while you’re doing your essential shop. You might want to think, too, about plants which prove especially tempting to wildlife. You could even make a bug hotel out of old crates and pieces of wood that you’ve got lying around. Don’t forget either that, as the weather turns hotter, water is always sure to go down well, especially with birds. Why not fill up that ornamental bird bath you’ve never bothered using, or bring a washing up bowl filled with water out with you? It’s a simple solution that’s sure to entertain the birds and keep you amused for an afternoon to boot. 

Take some sunny snaps
Your summer photo album will probably be a bit lacking this year, so our last point for making the most of your garden this lockdown is just to take some sunny snaps out there. We aren’t saying these will make up for the vacation pics you would’ve had, because it won’t. Still, you’d be surprised at how good your pictures could be with a bit of smart positioning and a pair of sunnies. 

Make this a day affair by really having fun with your garden props and backgrounds. Share the best bits on Insta, and you might even find that you can give your friends some inspo about how best to use their gardens right now, too. 

A final word
Lockdown is taking its toll on all of us and, while the Netflix marathons were fun to start, they’ve probably long lost their charm. At this four week mark, you might even feel like your skin’s so pale from sun deprivation that you’re starting to look ill!

Turn things around by turning attention to your garden at last. Remember, some people are stuck indoors with no choice but to open the window. You aren’t one of them, so embrace this opportunity. Even if you aren’t what anyone would call a keen gardener, taking this time could see you learning a skill you never knew you needed. And, of course, your tan is guaranteed to thank you for it.

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// 3 Everyday Tips for Avoiding Toxic Situations

It’s quite common, these days, to hear a lot about “toxins,” often in the context of holistic health practices (sometimes with fairly dubious claims attached), and usually in connection to various supplements and superfoods.

In fact, though, there are many “toxic” situations and elements that you might brush up against during the course of your everyday life, ranging from actual pollution and contamination in your immediate environment, to “toxic atmospheres” that bring you down in a more abstract and emotional sense.

Here are just a few everyday tips for avoiding some common toxic situations.

1. Consider installing air and water filters in your home
We all tend to be very comfortable in our homes, which means that we can easily overlook the fact that our homes can be subject to various forms of pollution and assorted health hazards, without us even recognising it.

“Sick Building Syndrome” refers to health conditions which developed as a result of a toxic indoor environment – generally in the form of allergens and irritants present in the air, often due to the buildup of certain gases, moulds, and so on.

In fact, the air found in indoor environments is often more polluted than the air found outdoors, and for that reason you should seriously consider installing air filters in your home, at least in the sense of setting up a standing HEPA filter.

By the same token, there are some pretty compelling reasons to be concerned about the quality of the water that comes out of your taps, and it might be that purchasing a water filter for your fridge, at the very least, could prove genuinely beneficial.

2. Become mindful about the kind of information you “consume”
Almost everyone can agree that there is an abundance of “toxic content” to be found in various corners of the Internet, including prevalently on social media.

The thing is, if you are on an “information diet” featuring a constant stream of stories designed to rile you up or terrify you, and if you are spending a lot of your time and energy reflecting on ideas that seem to drag you down rather than to lift you up, your health and sense of well-being will certainly deteriorate accordingly.

It’s a very good idea to be mindful about the kind of information and ideas you “consume” on an everyday basis. Where possible, try to extricate yourself from the constant stream of negative information, and focus on things from a more upbeat and positive angle.

3. Get into the art of home-cooking from scratch
There are many global health epidemics these days, ranging from obesity to the rising prevalence of type II diabetes, that appear to be strongly connected to the types of food that are increasingly commonly consumed.

For example, high fructose corn syrup and trans fats have been clearly demonstrated to contribute to a range of serious health issues. By contrast, fruit, for example, even though it contains fructose, is associated with positive health outcomes.

Get into the art of home-cooking from scratch, and take pleasure in creating delicious recipes. Not only will you feel more satisfied with your meals, but you’ll likely avoid, or at least diminish, a lot of potential health pitfalls.

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// Wow Yourself With These Ways To Wake Up Gorgeous!

I’m going to preface this article by telling you that you are ALREADY gorgeous. Even if you are waking up looking like a swamp demon, you are a beautiful swamp demon and don't you ever forget it.

That being said, waking up looking dewy and glowy and plain beautiful? That’s not a thing that everyone can do. You want to wake with flawless and radiant skin after a night of sleep, and right now that feels impossible. The thing is, it can be done - really, it can! There are so many ways that you can maintain glowing skin even first thing in the morning. You want your complexion to be hydrated and smooth, and you want to remove bags under eyes, too. You want your face gorgeous from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. So, let’s look at some of the ways that you can achieve that. (You’re still gorgeous, seriously.)

  • Every single day, use sunscreen. It doesn't matter if it’s not roaring heat with sunbathing on the menu. You want to have skin that is flawless and smooth, and for that, you need sunscreen. Apply to your face morning, noon and evening as part of your skincare routine. You don't want your skin damaged by UV levels; the leather bag look is not the look you want to go for.

  • You’ve heard the fact that you are what you eat, but did you know that that will impact your skin? You can affect your skin with things that can damage your gut, so choose to indulge in nutritious food, and you’ll be golden! Eating lots of healthy fats will also help, as the healthy fats will keep your skin hydrated and moist, which is just what you want!

  • When you want to add products to your skin, make sure that you do it right after your bath or shower. The timing of your products will affect your skin, with your skincare routine required immediately after you wash. It’ll seal in all the moisture and good stuff, and your skin will be looking beautiful in the morning!

  • Your exercise levels are so important when you are trying to get that healthy glow on your skin. The more you workout, the more the blood flow increases to your skin and the oxygen and nutrients all head to the surface of the skin. This makes your skin feel vital, plump and ready for the day!

  • Leave it alone. No, really, if you have a spot or a scratch, stop picking at it. Keep your hands away from the face and use copious amounts of good moisturizer instead. If you pick your face, you are likely to leave even more dirty germs behind that will just make things worse. Leave your face alone and make sure that you keep your face washed and clean throughout the day.

Waking up gorgeous? That’s easy - you’re already doing that. Now you know how to add dewy skin to your morning wake-up!

// this is a contributed post written for this charming life.

// What Is The Cost To Our Health Of Being Beautiful?

How much do we really know about the products we apply to our bodies? Unlike what we choose to eat and drink, we tend to be a whole lot less picky about beauty products - but the fact is, they are absorbed into the body just the same. Plus, the market is a whole lot less strictly regulated, so the margin for error is much larger. We should be a lot more concerned about what we are using when it comes to the pursuit of beauty and self-indulgence. Chemicals, bacteria, trace elements of metals, bleach and other toxic ingredients regularly crop up in products we apply to our skin or our hair, and have resulted in serious illness. From the scandal around harmful skin lightening creams popular in some communities, to injuries from talcum powder, the contents of our bathroom cabinets are rapidly becoming the subjects of some of the most concerning consumer lawsuits seen in years. So what should we be concerned about when it comes to grooming and beauty products?

Look Out For Lipstick
When you’re feeling down, a slick of bright lipstick is a guaranteed shortcut to looking and feeling great, right? In fact, data shows that when the economy hits a recession sales of lipstick go up. But new studies into the contents of many common brands of lipstick are now uncovering worrying evidence of heavy metals like lead. The Food and Drugs Administration in the US has uncovered lead of up to 3 parts per million (not a small amount) in almost all of the brands they tested, including globally popular makes like L’Oreal, MAC and Revlon, and even brands marketed as natural, such as Burt’s Bees. The problem comes because lipstick gets ingested when we lick our lips or eat and drink. So although it may technically be safe sitting on top of the lips, it's likely to be having effects that we don’t fully understand yet.

More About Minerals
It’s even more worrying when a product that is marketing as a less chemical-filled, more natural cosmetic alternative turns up some concerning ingredients, and one of the worst offenders is mineral powder makeup. These powders contain mica, which can be extremely harmful if inhaled enough. In fact, if you were to be a construction worker, using a product containing mica, you would be required to wear a protective mask. Although the exposure of the average person or even a makeup artist, is much lower, it's certainly something to be considered, and not much is known about the effects from this form of use yet.

Wary Of Hair StraightenersChemical hair straighteners can definitely cause deadly effects. Most, when tested, were found to contain the dangerous chemical formaldehyde, even when they were expressly labelled as NOT containing it. This chemical is a known carcinogen, or cancer-causing agent, and should be taken very seriously. If you’re a regular home user or a stylist using these chemical straightening products on hair, you have every right to be concerned about your health - after all, what really is the price of looking good?

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// Embrace A Little Self-Indulgence

We all have responsibilities and things we have to take care of, but that does not mean that you should always cast your own wants and needs to the sidelines. It does not take long for constant self-neglect to wreak havoc on your health and wellbeing. If you want to be the best you for your children, partner, work, and family,  then a little bit of regulated self-indulgence is what you need. Being able to spend a bit of time and money on you can be some much-needed therapy. 

How about a nice warm bath
When you know you will have the time when Dan is with the kids, why not run a nice hot bath. Make sure you have some bath salts, and some bubbles, how about a little aromatherapy too? Think about the ambiance, candles, and little chilled out music on low. That sounds good doesn’t it? Can you even remember the last time you had a bath like that? The truth is, a nice hot bath isn’t just about a little self-indulgence, it is actually good for your health and wellbeing too. It can reduce stress hormones, such as cortisol. It lowers blood sugar levels too and is also a benefit for your skin. 

Buy some gifts for you
Is there something that you have been putting off buying for fear it is too expensive. Or maybe you think that a luxury item is not essential in your life right now. The thing is if you are working hard and have a lot of responsibilities, you need a few things that are yours, so you know it is all worth it. You should treat yourself. Maybe a new wardrobe would be enough, maybe something a little more expensive like that Rolex Day Date President you always wanted. If you shop around you can always find the things you want at less expensive prices. In addition, if you never treat yourself, you run the risk of building up some kind of resentment.

Learn the magic word - No
Being more self-indulgent is about finding more time for you. In a busy world, it is easy to lose track of what is important. You may have got into the habit of always saying yes to certain things. Perhaps you help people out too much or are always trying to involve yourself in community activities and social events. When you step back and think about it, what are your motivations, and are you getting anything out of it? If you can't really answer these questions, then maybe it is time to stop. Being a people pleaser will not get you anywhere. It does not gain you respect or friends. You don't even respect yourself for it, so how can you expect other people to? When you begin the process of stopping all the things that are not helping you in your life, you will feel more confident. Saying no will make you feel powerful. So stop taking on extra chores, putting yourself under pressure, and concentrate on you for once. 

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// Revamping Your Look On A Budget

When you’re getting bored of your current style and want to revamp your look to boost your confidence and reflect your current aesthetic, it can be really hard to achieve your goals without spending a ton of money. Updating your style on a budget is actually more achievable than you might think, as there are many different ways that you can save on your favorite clothes, accessories and makeup! You needn’t stress about the price tag of your favorite products and pieces when there are a wealth of more affordable alternative options that you can explore. So, if you want to revamp your aesthetic but don’t have a wealth of money to splash out with, then read on for some of the best super-saver tips that you can make the most of today! 

Shop Smart 
If you don’t want to miss out on those all important big brands then do not stress, as there are several different ways in which you can shop smart to bag a few bargains. First off, there are a few certain seasons that are the best times for you to shop, including the post Christmas sales (especially Boxing Day!) as well as Black Friday too. These periods can encourage some amazing deals and the chance to save a whole load of money yet still buy your favorite products and pieces. You can also take a quick search online to uncover some wonderful deals and voucher codes that you can utilize for percentage discounts and 2 for 1 offers etc, as something like an Ulta coupon can be an absolute dream come true when revamping your makeup bag on a budget. Shopping smart may mean that you take a little longer to completely redesign your look, but you will be able to make use of the best products and brands for much more reasonable prices. 

Find An Alternative 
Brands recognize that it’s unlikely the entire market can afford all of the big name items, so there are many smaller, more affordable companies popping up that offer cheaper alternatives. Whether they pose as a copy of a big brand original or are based on a similar design or purpose, they can often provide all of the same features for a much better price! Clothes are a prime example of this, as so many inexpensive outlets are appearing online that offer amazing outfits for less than a couple of hours wages. They take inspiration from influencers and fashion focused celebs to recreate iconic items for the masses without the usual designer label price tag - so what’s not to love?!

Revamping your look while sticking to a smaller budget has never been so simple when you are able to make the most of the top tips and tricks detailed above! Start off by searching for some deals and voucher codes to shop smart, and wait for sale seasons to bulk buy your products and pieces at a much more affordable price. Look for alternative brands that can provide you with the same style without the need to fork out a fortune! 

// this contributed post was written for this charming life.

// 6 Steps To Finding True Happiness

It’s a wise idea to focus on what you can change so that you can create a life that’s right for you. It is possible to find true happiness, but you have to be willing to take actions that are going to help you achieve this goal.
The process of becoming a happier person takes time, and you shouldn’t necessarily expect quick results. However, stick with implementing the following suggestions into your daily life, and you’ll likely soon find yourself on a path to happiness and success. Enjoy this time of self-discovery, and remember that you should go after it because you deserve it.
1. Follow Your Passion
Work takes up a lot of your time and energy, so it makes sense that you want to find a career that makes you feel excited. When you follow your passion, you’re able to find your purpose in life. Therefore, take time to think about what job will put your skills to use and challenge you regularly. Once you pinpoint a direction, research what you can do to make your dream a reality. For example, if you like to travel and have always wanted to fly a plane, then hop online to learn more about how to become a pilot. You not only have to have an idea of what you want to be but then put goals and a plan of action in place for following through with it so you can begin working in your career of choice.
2. Build Positive Relationships with Others
Life is challenging at times, and no one should have to go at it alone. Focus your efforts on building positive relationships with others who put a smile on your face. Remove yourself from negativity and only let others in who inspire you and make your life more fulfilling. It’s healthy to have a social life and friends and family who you can depend on throughout your lifetime. It’s about giving and taking, so make sure you’re there for your loved ones in their time of need as well. Surround yourself with other happy people, and you’ll likely soon find that this positivity rubs off on you, and you have a more optimistic outlook.  
3. Make Time for You
Another step to finding true happiness is to make time for you and to practice self-care. Make your health a priority, and you’ll have more energy and be in a better mood most days. Adopt a healthy lifestyle by eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, and getting plenty of sleep. Also, find hobbies you enjoy participating in and that utilize your other talents. Make more time for doing what you love and spending time with people who you love, and you’ll naturally become a happier person. Learn to say no to others who ask for your time and energy when your schedule is full and don’t feel guilty about it.
4. Learn to Let Go
To be happy, you have to learn how and when to let go. Holding onto ill feelings and emotions is only going to drag you down over the long-term. Find true happiness when you let go of the negativity and focus on what brings you joy. You can’t let your past control and dictate your present or future, so be willing to release what’s no longer serving you well. Practice mindfulness as a way to help you deal with life as it unfolds and not become too caught up in your previous experiences or situations. Remember, you can only do what’s in your power to come to a resolution with others and can’t control them.
5. Avoid Comparisons
These days it’s easy to compare your life and achievements to others because of social media. Therefore, another step to finding true happiness is to avoid comparisons to others. Focus on your goals and strengths, and do your best to be genuinely happy for other people when you see them succeed. Awareness that you’re continuously making comparisons is the first step to you being able to stop yourself from doing so. Accept that neither you nor anyone else is perfect and that what you see on social media isn’t always reality or truth.  
6. Practice Gratitude
You can also take a step in the right direction of finding true happiness by practicing gratitude. Count your blessings daily to help you get in the right mindset and focus on the positives. Keep a gratitude journal where you can record down these thoughts and review them regularly. Read inspirational quotes and stories to help keep you in a constructive and encouraging frame of mind.

// this contributed post was written for this charming life