I've been hinting at some "news" for the past week that I've been eager to share with y'all. It wasn't until yesterday that we felt we were in a place that we could actually speak freely about the situation. A couple of close friends knew what was going, and of course our family, but everyone else was left in the dark. To finally spoil the surprise for you... we now have custody of Mike's 3 year old son, Toby! We are over the moon excited about it! Things started falling in place on Friday, much much sooner than we expected. We weren't expecting to bring him home with us until today, but we found ourselves in front of a judge on Friday and we were so very tickled to bring him back with us (after a few hours at Chuck E. Cheese, of course!)
Many of you were readers back when Toby would visit us every other weekend, and you may remember seeing him make some guest appearances on my blog as a wee lil' lad! I haven't written about him in a long time because things weren't going very well. We weren't able to see him for a long time and it really did break our hearts. We weren't sure we were going to ever see him again, so when we got the call saying we may be able to have him come live with us we were pretty stoked. And stressed. So many people have asked me (both politely, and not so) about Toby since his last mention on the blog, and eventually I stopped responding to anything regarding the situation. It quickly became one of my "no go topics," meaning I didn't speak of it... well... ever. We decided to keep that part of our life private. It was a painful thing to go through for both of us and we didn't need to air any dirty laundry.
I won't go into details about how or why this situation came to be. Honestly it isn't a happy story in terms of the details. It's also not my story to tell. What I will say is that although we were caught completely off guard, no kids clothes, carseat, or bed/room for him, we are making the most of it and we're making it work!
I was able to take off of work on Friday to spend time with Mike and Toby, helping him get acquainted with our new house. The timing is quite amazing honestly. We had no idea something like this could/would happen when we decided to move and get a house, but it's almost like fate. We got the first phone call over a week and a half ago... just 2 days after we moved in. Since getting him on Friday we've bought (and built!) Toby a bed, in his very own room, and acquired lots of fun, educational toys and cute button-up shirts to match Dad's. He's 3! He's talking, trying to potty train, and he's basically a big kid now. It's incredible.
We know we are able to provide him with a stable and caring environment, full of love and laughter. Lots of cuddles and bedtime stories, too. Trips to the zoo, museums, aquariums and the Adventure Science Center! We're going to be able to help him grow and learn, and basically mold him into a stellar member of society. Like I mentioned above, we're both elated and positively terrified... but this is our new life! I don't know the first thing about kids but step-momma mode has to kick in and make it work! We're really excited to see what the future holds for our little family!
Long gone are the solo coffee date nights Mike and I had daily, and the jetting off on random roadtrips for a week or more. Here come the sick days, naptimes, and endless changes of clothes thanks to little man's insatiable desire to wipe his mouth on his shirt sleeves. We're trading daily NCIS marathons for Power Rangers and Dora the Explorer (and currently on our tv: Toy Story 3). Kind of sounds like a fair trade to me!
I didn't feel right not sharing this part of our lives on here simply because it is just that: our life. The biggest part of it. We're having to push some stuff around and give up a little free time and productivity, but he's our top priority. I apologize to everyone waiting to hear from me about blog designs and Honeybean designers... I promise they're coming! This sort of hit us all of a sudden and I still don't think we've quite caught up. The past 72 hours have been so totally crazy and exhausting. I guess we better get used to that!
With that being said, I'll be taking on slightly fewer design clients per month, simply so my clients are able to get the best experience and treatment possible. Every few minutes he's hungry or needs changing or wants to play with his blocks of flash cards... I can't help but step away and partake with him and Mike. I knew I really really wanted kids with Mike... and I won't lie, I've had baby fever for a while now! But the past few days have done nothing short of solidify that feeling... like we're the perfect team to raise a kid. I guess we'll hold off on baby makin' for a little bit, just to ensure Toby gets lots and lots of attention, and that we retain our sanity. But I know he'll make the very best big brother.
When sharing Toby in the past, I received a few not-so-nice comments saying things like "You'll never be his mother" and "You're not his step mom" etc. Whether Toby is my biological son or not, I will (and do) love him with every fiber of my being. I will always treat him just as if he were my own flesh and blood. Nothing will ever change that. I don't know what it's like for other people to all of a sudden come in possession of a 3 year old toddler, but I just know we're going to do the best we can. And that we're excited. That's really what he needs right now. (The best part? He's totally into us decorating his room in sharks! Thatta boy!) Whether he's with us for the next 15 years, 3 years, or 3 months... we're going to cherish every moment we have. I'm excited to share this new chapter of our lives with all of y'all. Thanks for sticking around <3