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Begin Again...

I've been thinking a lot about life lately... 

First off, thanks for all of your sweet comments (and emails, tweets, etc) about my little cry sesh at work. As silly as it sounds I think everyone should have to work in a service industry (especially food/beverage) for at least a week. Just one week would totally change their attitude about how they treat others. Most of the time they may not even realize they're doing it. The best dating advice I ever received: Never date anyone who is rude to his/her sever. That's how they'll treat you in 6 months! Someone on Tumblr said it better than I could have... they said that sometimes people just dehumanize us when they're being served. It's so very true. Ever since taking my job bartending when I was 18, I've made a conscious effort to try and tip well (or even over-tip)... even when the service is less than perfect. I've never worked in a restaurant setting as a server. I can't imagine the hustle and bustle of trying to remember everything. I applaud each and every one of you who work in settings like that. 

My little upset-schpeal wasn't brought on just by the lack of tipping or the incredibly rude crowd that was there Friday night. Instead, it was a culmination of various events and feelings that just sort of happened. My ABC license (to bartend) expired a few days ago. Five years. I have been there over five years already. (Five years, one month, and three weeks actually). I never in a million years thought I'd stay that long. Even the other bartender Angie made me promise to get the heck out of dodge when I graduated college. I'm not at a place where I can quit yet. It may only be 10 hours a week but it provides job security, earnings of more than a 40 hour a week job, and it affords me the entire work week to do things I actually do love. I get to blog, work on my shoppe, read business books and formulate a real business plan. Just knowing that I have to go get re-certified is sort of a slap in the face because I never intended on being there this long. Here I am with a college degree and I'm serving alcohol 10 hours a week. It was sort of a wake up call. I hadn't been happy with my work situation for quite a while. I don't mind the job itself, I love my co-workers, and I try not to complain too much because I know that I'm very fortunate to have the job that I do (especially in this economy). But no amount of money or spare time is going to give me the happiness that I seek professionally. I know exactly what I want to do, and I'm working on a plan to get there. That's something that I can't wait to share with you all. You've been so supportive all along and I hope that this is something that you'll experience with me. 

()

I've felt loads better about the whole thing because as soon as I woke up Saturday morning I started thinking of what actions I needed to take to get where I want to go. My brain has been a'buzz with so much clamor and commotion since then. The inspiring kind! Friday night was a revelation of sorts. I think I'd rather struggle for a little while trying to make my dream job come to life than to sit back and watch it all pass by so I can work 10 hours a week. The (semi)formal business plan writing starts today! I'm fortunate to come from a family of entrepreneurs and business-minded people. I plan to seek each and every one of their advice, guidance and opinions. With a notebook full of ideas, I'm going to read and re-read every business book I have available and I'm going to stop waiting for the right time to show up. This whole time I've had the mentality of "Oh in the future..." or "someday..." I'm over it. Today is someday, right?! Why not! I don't want to look at the weekend as something I dread because I have to go to a job that is less than fulfilling. I want to look at it as a high traffic opportunity to share my dream with others and to bring true pride to my life. Even my freelance graphic design work isn't bringing me the feeling I had hoped for. So I'll try and try again! I'll work at it until I get it right! I hope that if you find yourself in a position that you're less than happy about, you don't just sit on the sidelines and let it continue. Before you know it you will have lost so much time. Even if your current situation only allots you two hours a week to scheme and dream, do it! Use those two hours for everything you can. No more reserved Kaelah! Who's with me?!

54 comments:

  1. I found a picture on stumble the other day which summed up how we all feel about our lives sometimes: flipping a coin - it doesn't make the decision for us, but when the coin's in the air we realise which side we're hoping for. Life IS what we make of it, the things we have to do to make space/time/money for the things we want to do are just that: necessity. :-) x

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  2. i totally feel you..i worked at quizno's all through college and i have never been so sad at how people treat you when you work in the food industry.
    everytime i go out to eat i always am nice to the workers bc it is a really tough job and if you do not get tipped then you basically do not get paid. :(
    sorry to hear people have been rude to you..i will never understand some people.

    good luck with your business plans..my fingers are crossed for you. i believe you should do what you love in life..no matter what. <3

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  3. I'm completely with you :)
    After making my step-daughter's birthday cake a few weeks ago, requests have been piling in and it has filled me with such confidence. Just today I was re-reading my 'small businesses' books and looking into gaining the financial support to start my business. I'm just so desperate to get going!
    Hope things go well for the both of us!

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  4. I've been feeling like this so often lately and I've been doing a lot of thinking and brain storming as well. Here's hoping we both get to where we want to go. :)

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  5. oh my goodness, you took the words out of my mouth. i'm at the same exact situation right now, and this post is really encourage me to start "moving on". i love you, Kaelah, for writing this. i really do.

    Eva

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  6. i've always said that everyone should have to work in food service sometime during their life. i really think it would change their perspective about lots of things.

    i just celebrated my one year anniversary from 'retiring' from serving and becoming a stay at home mom. i had served part-time from the time i was 18-25. the money was usually really good, and i loved the hours. but it was the people i had to wait on that made it miserable most of the time.

    i know you get lots of comments from people asking to visit their blogs, and i suppose i am one of them today. :) the link below is for a blog post with a song that i wrote about how much i hated my job, if you ever wanted to take a listen. you could probably relate. ;-) (it should also be mentioned that i never said i had a good voice.)

    http://delirious-rhapsody.blogspot.com/2011/06/refills-are-free.html

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  7. I feel exactly the same way, not sure what I'm waiting for. Let's do this!!!

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  8. kaelah- i started waiting tables in high school and always told myself it would be a temporary job. fast forward 5 years and i'm still here waitressing, trying to get out.
    i too always tell myself i'm working towards "the future", but this post was the push i needed to make the future happen NOW. thank you, thank you, thank you for yet another amazing inspirational post.

    PS i spent the entire weekend on my feet waiting tables and serving trashy tourists, the majority of which didn't even leave me a tip. everyone should have to wait tables at least for a week, and see that service people live off of their tips and it's the ONLY money they make!

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  9. I totally understand how you feel! I worked as a waitress at a restaurant my mother owned from the age 14-19. I had to work the front and back sections and also do the dishes. Sometimes when I'd forget something cause it was a busy night some people would be so rude! I just smiled and stayed polite but sometimes its hard. Of course I loved my job as a waitress, I met so many great people and still have a lot of them in my life to this day and I'm 21 now.

    But I hope everything gets better your such a great person and oh so beautiful that I'm sure everything will work out in life and with your business!! :)

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  10. I have worked in the service industry for ten years(!) and in the last two years have moved up into management. I really like it, and enjoy the job and interactions, but there are times when I think "why didn't I just stay a waitress?".
    When you are earning great tips for just a few hours a week and can forget all about the place when you walk out the door, it is really sweet.
    But yeah, sometimes people are so rude it makes me almost laugh.
    However, the self employment dream is an amazing one that I share and I am sure you will be successful at it! Best of luck Kaylah!
    Chin up!
    xo

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  11. You go girl! You are such an inspriation...I love that because you are unhappy with something in your life, you're taking steps to actively change things for the better. I've known so many people who have been unhappy either with their work or with a relationship, but have not done anything about it. A lot of people don't want to put in the time and energy it takes to change your life and be happy. The fact that you can take a step back and try to reassess things is awesome! That's the first step. Good luck!

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  12. I'm definitely with you! It must be the new moon eclipse (if you're into that sorta thing) that has put us in a mood to get up and go with the big dreamy plans we have for ourselves.

    Girl.. if anyone can do it, you can. me too. :) <3 <3 <3

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  13. I'm a server at a resturaunt and I totally understand what you are saying. I hate my job, but I stay for the money.

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  14. I totally agree with you about having a service job.. I worked at a bagel shoppe in highschool, and people really treat you like dirt (and tip horribly!) I feel the same way about customer service in retail though.. I can't stand that part of my job, even if illustrating is supposed to be my "dream job" :p

    I'm so proud of you, though, and I wish you oodles and oodles and buckets and heaps of good luck with your business plan!!! xo

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  15. This is an awesomely inspiring post. Love reading posts like this. And i have no doubt you will succeed, and you already have a nice fan base to get you started. I am right there with you. There is no time like the present to make our dreams come true.

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  16. I hope all your dreams come true!

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  17. Kaelah, thank you SO much sharing so much of your heart here. I'm a new reader and just trying to figure things out myself. At the end of your post, your encouragment to get started was kind of the wake up call I have needed! We are the same age and I can relate to you on so many things, especially how the past five years have just flown by, and why am I still saying someday?? Thank you again for helping me to finally hear this! Good luck!

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  18. I'm with you! I think it's really important to do what you like, because personally, I don't want to be in a dull job for forty years.

    Good luck with your plans, whatever it is that you want to do, I think it'll work out, because you have the right attitude and I think you're talented and determined to make things work.

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  19. I'm totally with you, I actually just made a huge post this past weekend about how I'm going to start making my dreams a reality and stop being a dreamer. I went out two days ago and bought a motorhome which was a gigantic step towards a huge dream of mine to travel the US. I plan on being self employed by the time I take the leap of leaving next year so I'm taking my life so much more serious. It's such a proud feeling!!
    WE CAN DO THIS!

    Makin' those dreams reality!

    xoxo

    Keep up the positivity girlie

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  20. I feel exactly the same way at the moment - i'm a waitress, i know exactly what you mean about working with rude people! i make a huge effort to be polite when i go out to dinner. I hate my job but it's my only source of income right now - stick at it, girl - you'll get there!

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  21. I used to work at a coffee shop and can definitely relate to feeling a little under appreciated by the patrons....best of luck with your new business plan, I hope you do wonderfully!

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  22. Oh kaelah!
    I just went through the same thing not too long ago. with only 3units left to get my viscom degree, I decided that I was going to switch majors to fashion design and merchandising. For the last two years, I had been thinking about some aspect of owning a clothing line/store, EVERY SINGLE DAY. What would be my market? online or brick and mortar? if brick and mortar, than the floor layout and design. I thought fashion was something that I was interested in as a sort of secret thing that I wouldn't tell anybody about, but after being tired of trying to "find the perfect____" (fill in the blank), I thought, "Why not MAKE the perfect____?". So here I am, getting ready to enroll in the Fashion department at school and just waiting for fall to start. I'm scared and excited at the same time but I think it's a good step forward.
    I wish you the best of luck in what you decide to pursue. With so many people behind you, supporting you, I think you'll do good in whatever it is you attempt.

    Manda

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  23. Hey girl! I absolutely loved reading this post. It definitely warmed my heart. As someone who went to school for Entrepreneurship and is in a similar situation (working 40 hours a week at the mall while using any kind of free time to work on my clothing business instead of going out with my friends and living at home to save money) I totally get how you're feeling.

    That said, if you ever want to grab coffee and talk entrepreneurship/business plans, let me know!! I have several great books and have written a plan before that was picked apart by the head of the Entrepreneurship dept at Belmont, so I can definitely give you some tips :)

    xoxo
    Kallie

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  24. I really needed to read this blog post. I absolutely loathe my job that I am basically stuck at right now (and will be for the next year until I graduate). I can't quit because I have to pay for school, books, lifestyle, groceries, etc. It's so hard to be positive in an environment that you see as something so negative...but the future keeps me so so inspired.
    Hang in there honey bee!

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  25. Go you!

    You definitely need to get to a comfortable place before quitting the ay job. I literally just quit mine, like, my last day was last Thursday.

    It's been a tough decision, and I have so much hard work ahead of me, but I'm determined to do it.

    I'm running a 'Working for Yourself Week' on my blog this week, I have some really inspirational posts lined up, I'd love it if you came and had a look :)

    http://www.hiphopsideproject.com

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  26. Thank you so much for this post, Kaelah! I've been working on trying to make a business out of my crafting and painting, but I always let that one little thing get me down and give me a reason to push it to the side for another day (which we all know doesn't often come quickly). Be it a lack of money, procrastination or not being able to sell my stuff. And there's only so much self-motivation at times, so seeing someone else trying to fight the demons off and do what they're passionate about it inspiring. So I'm with you 100%, today is the day that I get my butt in gear and make my reality what I want it to be.

    -Lo

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  27. p.s i had to post my own response to this on my blog! it inspired me too much! www.katesirrelevant.com

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  28. I worked in customer service for 8 years and I think I was so fed up with it in 2009-2010 I was crying before clocking in. So finally in October 2010,I said I couldn't take it anymore and quit. I really wish there was some job out there that I loved but I don't know what that is just yet and I'm almost 26. Thank you for this post Kaelah and we will get there! :)

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  29. I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been feeling the same way business-wise and feel like I'm kind of stuck and not really sure what to do. Everyone in my family are entrepreneurs too, so they would be great resources to talk to.
    I'm really excited for you and so looking forward to what you have in store for your future! You're in m y thoughts, and props to us for working towards our dreams! <3

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  30. my high school basketball coach always said: No Reserves, No retreats, No Regrets...the people who really succeed at their own business don't make it in one night. and they don't let those bad days (or weeks) get to them. i take comfort in the fact that i get defeated...that somedays just feel like i've been kicked in the gut-- because it's then that i know i've TRIED. i wouldn't fall down if i was already sitting pretty. being content with never pushing forward. the girls who can keep picking themselves up and moving forward are the ones who end up really loving their career and inspiring many others in their wake.

    you are a constant encouragement and inspiration to me:). who knows how many girls and women you give a little extra push to...get them a little closer to their own goals and dreams. you are def going somewhere girl!! keep up the hard work and thanks for honest posts like these!

    looking forward to watching your continued success:)

    xo

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  31. How amazing girl! I know how youfeel and I am there with you. Writing a business plan is tough,time consuming and totally worth the effort. I am proud to read your blog and support you.
    Xxxo sandra

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  32. I totally feel you on this one! I've been working in the service industry for just over 5 years now and it's HARD. People are rude, and if someone is having a bad day and you happen to be around, beware. You get all the crap from a stranger and it makes your day suck. Most days I love my job- I'm still in school and trying to figure things out, but there are those days where I wonder how I made it this long, and why on earth I'm not looking for another job yet. You'll get there though!! You've got a plan and as long as you don't lose sight of your goals you're on the right path. :)

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  33. I'm with ya!!! When I moved back to my hometown and took the first job I could get, I never thought in a million years that I'd stick around, let alone going on 5 years now. Sure I'm in school, but I'm going to school to get a better job, not to really fufill my dream of writing. This past week I thought to myself: What the heck is stopping you? Just DO IT!!

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  34. I agree that everyone should have to work in the service industry. During university I was the only girl working retail in a computer store - was hell but it paid the bills.

    Now I have a job that is in the field I studied at school, however I am really unhappy. Lately I've been thinking about starting a business of my own at some point down the road and i found this post really inspiring - thank you!

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  35. I am at such a crossroads, too. I recently got fired from a job of 4 years. It started out as a job to take between theatre jobs, and I ended up moving up the ladder and getting sucked into the money. It was such a wakeup call when I started thinking about what I want to do now. I'm working 20 hours a week at a temp job and I'm so commitment shy about taking on a full time position. But I don't want to take a job I don't like just because it has good benefits ever again.

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  36. I'm with you, Kaelah! Both in the crossroads stakes and the I've got your back' stakes. Chin up, honeypie... you KNOW you can make your dreams come true.

    Tids xx

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  37. I've been there girl! I worked a retail job for almost 5 yrs that I started while in college and had only planned on being there a short time! I went as far as I possibly could with the company and was running my Etsy shop as well. I quickly realized that the stress and bs that came with retail was not worth it and by devoting my time and energy into running my etsy shop I make more than I did and I'm able to make my own schedule and be my own boss! I know you'll make your dreams come true!

    Krystle
    http://dearwinsome.blogspot.com/

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  38. Thank you for this. I really, really needed it tonight.

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  39. I hear you. I've done various forms of customer service and was always amazed by how rude people could be - dropping coins on the counter and not even looking at me, never mind making eye contact or smiling or say, "Thanks". Why were they never taught manners?!

    I hope everything works out for you! Your enthusiasm is inspiring.

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  40. I've gone to school with technical 'adults' who have never even held down a part-time job, let alone a job in the food industry or retail and it amazes me at how they treat others in such industries and still, what values they themselves have in turn. It's something that I think everyone should experience and I think everyone here has hit the nail on the head.

    Here's to your plans, hope everything works out for you!

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  41. Oh yes. I can relate to you. Although I am different. I can't see a business as a way to self-realization. Because I hate marketing and I think that making people feel like they're being left out if they don't shop your stuff is pure evil. I've been a writer and a philosopher since forever, I do crafts and art and I've tried starting selling my stuff. Only to realize I don't really feel fulfilled by selling products, not the way I feel when I sell a book of Erotica short stories and I make people blush and think about themselves. But this is a tough world where money is almost the only drive, because we're all slaves of it. Do what your heart says. That's the only way to be fulfilled. Let me share with you this documentary I watched last night, I think you would enjoy it, it's for people with guts, willing to question life and make changes: http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/philosophy-guide-to-happiness/
    ~ I read you and wish you the best in your path.

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  42. kaelah you are such an inspiration. i know how rubbishy it must feel to still be at the bar when it was supposed to be temporary...but just re read over what you wrote and you know as much as I do that it's the right thing, and it's helping you achieve your dreams. your 23 and you're making your dreams come true, remember that love!
    I am 100% with you on making things happen today too. today is someday, and life is made up of todays, so we need to make the most of each one! <3 xx

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  43. 6 and a half years baby. Started in a sports bar cocktailing, then bartending, then left for a pub setting, and now i bartend/serve at a high end restaurant. it makes no difference, people are pretty terrible. i work 5 nights a week, all closing shifts and i despise it. the money has kept me in the industry, but i have NEVER felt happy doing this. people don't understand the kind of exhaustion serving gives you, especially doing it full time. i am at the point with my blog and my etsy where i am ready to take the plunge. its funny because my sister sent me here to read this a few days after i put in my two weeks :)!!! scary yes, but it's summer and i need to just be. finances can take a backseat while i work on myself.

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  44. i def. agree that everyone should have to be a server of some sort for at least a week...I bartended for 6 years and towards the end I reached my breaking point completely...I totally understand where you are at, and depending on others to make money is so difficult...Just remember that whatever is inside you will shine soon enough and you won't need that job anymore, you'll be doing what you love! you are already doing a great job of it :)

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  45. ~ * ♥ * ~

    I'm with you Kaelah! I am a stay at home Mom chasing my dreams of photography/art and instructing{horse riding}. I can't devote as much time as I might like to either of my dreams, but I am still working at them!

    I know you'll get where you want to too. It's just about taking one step at a time. Best of luck to you Kaelah!

    xox,
    bonita of Depict This!

    P.S. ~ I have my studio site up B dot Depictions Studio ; it's taken a while but if I can do it, you definitely can!!
    ~ * ♥ * ~

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  46. thanks for the pep talk. i needed the reminder.

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  47. i think about that every day! all of my jobs have pretty much been customer oriented... 3 coffee shops, flower shop, salon...

    my current job is the worst. i work in a heavily populated "rich" area. everyone is a snob and expect you to serve them and be at their beck and call. on top of being completely mean and cruel, they don't tip which is even worse.

    i totally agree that everyone should work at a service job just once. whether its a day or a year, because it totally changes the way i treat other people at their jobs.

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  48. I know how you feel. I've worked at Olive Garden for almost 5 years (july 24th) since I was 18 years old. I've grown sooo unhappy and bored with my job, I cannot wait to get out. My job offers vacation pay every year you work there, and this year for my anniversary I get 3 weeks paid vacation, so that's what I'm waiting for.

    I'll use you as inspiration and get the heck out of there ASAP after that...there is no sense in working a job you're not happy with, even if it provides security.

    You're awesome, Kaelah! =]

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  49. You go Kaelah!! Do you have any business book recommendations?

    Thanks

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  50. You go Kaelah, so inspiring! Do you have any business books you recommend?

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  51. Good luck on your endeavor! I worked as early as 14 (hello, California work permits) and after ten years of standingin heels at a a salon, then finishing school only to be let go of what i thought was my dream job a few months later, being my own boss has been the best decision for my family and i.

    i also noticed it doesn't matter whether you're a librarian, or a bartender; working with the public takes a lot out of you.

    kaelah, anything you do, will be a huge success. you have my support. xx

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  52. i worked in restaurant for years and have always said if everyone had to wait tables, etc. for at least a week before they could get a drivers license then the world be just a little bit better.. great post, and as a business owner for the past 14 years and very much the entrepreneur i wish you the best of luck and success in your future endeavors! i'm new to your blog and look forward to reading further...

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  53. Great post! I know just how you feel! I'm seventeen years old and I've been home schooled my whole life (not that I mind, because I really love it, but after 11 years in my home I'm really starting to get cabin fever). I don't have many friends in the area, and I'm just not happy with my life right now. I'm totally with you in trying to make a change. I want to inspire and be inspired - every single day. That's my goal. <3

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