Honest To Blog -- Ulterior Motives

I'm going to preface this week's Honest to Blog with this: This is is no way meant to hurt anyone's feelings, call anyone out, or point the finger/play the blame game. Instead I'm going to touch base on a topic much like my original post that spawned this weekly feature simply to share my newfound point of view.

I love meeting people through blogging. I'm so awkward and shy in person that it makes it hard for me to branch out and meet people. Plus I'm always working on something. I have a group of friends I wouldn't trade for the world, but I'm very cautious as to who I decide to associate with. I'm not sure what pushed me in that direction, but I don't like to just hang out with any ol' person. Blogging has given me an outlet to meet so many like-minded people all while I still manage to be productive. 4 out of 6 of my bridesmaids were met online/through blogging in some way. But I've started to become very particular with who I befriend and associate with online, just like in person. I've recently started paying much more attention to the way people conduct themselves and how they choose to go about communicating online. I've come to notice that so many people in the blogging world whose blogs I've read for months/years are simply part of a giant circle-jerk crowd. I don't want to be friends with someone because it may earn me more pageviews. I don't want to say yes to a guest posting invitation because I think I might get a handful of new followers. I won't lie, at one point that was probably a thought that fueled some of my actions, but being where I stand now I realize that that really isn't what it's about. I'm starting to resent the air of "strategy" that so many bloggers have.

Confession: A few months ago (as recent as a few weeks even!) I was ready to cut the cord to this blog and walk away. It started to not be fun for me. I started to recognize people for their ulterior motives and I even fell victim to blogging drama and catty girl hate. I've talked about the passive aggressive digs and all the messy stuff that comes with. This is blogging. It's honestly not too removed from high school. There are stuck up people, people who want to ride the coattails of others, manipulative people and ones who just want to undermine you for their own benefit. Blogging isn't the rainbow filled bubble we (I, especially) want to think it is. I get so much motivation, support, and inspiration from girls in the blogging world, but that really is just one side of it.

I never want blogging to seem like a popularity contest, but more often than not that's exactly what it is. People will judge how good your blog is based on how many followers you have or giveaways you offer. But blogging has become immensely more enjoyable for me since I stopped reading bloggers I would constantly side-eye and started reading the blogs of my followers. I absolutely love when y'all leave a link to your blog along with your comments! A simple URL works just fine, as ones who leave 3 or 4 lines of self promotion and "OMG come check out my giveaway" get marked as spam. (Again, in it for yourself. Genuine comments are a great way to become part of a close-knit community... just don't turn into That Blogger!). I'm the world's worst commenter but chances are highly likely that if you've left your URL in my comments then I've visited your blog. I follow mostly via Google Reader and I read almost, but not quite every post (sometimes it's overwhelming!), but I'm often at a loss for what to comment with. Anyway, I've noticed how much more inspired I feel when I read blogs that are genuine and void of any agenda. Climbing the circle jerk blog ladder isn't something to aspire to. I've read blogs who got 1+ million hits a month and I started to really look at how they responded to their readers (if at all!) via Twitter and other social media. If they gave absolutely no thought to it, I unfollowed. Even if/when I tweet at someone "higher up" in the blogging world and they are quick to dismiss me only to tweet constantly with their favorite bloggy BFF with "tons of followers", I get insulted. Wouldn't you?! I understand some people get an overwhelming amount of messages and @replies, so if it's a generic "aw!" or "that's so cute/great/awesome/funny!" tweet, I let it slide. But when I/others share sincere comments, it's a harder pill to swallow. I'm not always the best or quickest to respond to everything, but if you tweet at me with a genuine question, concern, comment or just to say hello, I respond back. I respond to every single email I receive too... even if it takes me a week. I'm not a blogging saint, so please don't think I'm trying to say that! But I finally recognize how rude and dismissive some bloggers are... for no reason. If they didn't have readers, they wouldn't be in the position they are now. They wouldn't have sponsorships, partner deals and the opportunities they do (I wouldn't either!). I value my readers so very very much. Even when you speak up and have concerns or constructive criticisms. Sure, the criticisms aren't always the easiest to digest but I try to look at them from a different perspective. Some are helpful and some are just mean. But that doesn't mean they're all malicious.

I know some of you still side-eye me when I say or do things you might think are totally hypocritical or stupid... it's human nature. I do it, too. I very often say/do things that aren't in line with my thoughts/beliefs without realizing. But I hope that each and every one of you read my blog because it inspires you or brings some sort of happiness into your daily lives. Not because I have thousands of followers you could potentially make yours, or in hopes that I link to you randomly. The friendships and relationships I've built from blogging have been some of the absolute best in my life. I don't want people to feel like they have to be sponsors of my blog in order to get mentioned.

I honestly stand behind this next thing that I'm going to say: If my blog doesn't inspire you, bring you genuine happiness or motivate you in any way to be better, feel free to unfollow! If you don't feel like I connect with my readers or give back in a way similar to what y'all give to me, don't feel obligated to read! I mean that with the utmost sincerity, no sarcasm or attitude involved. Explore the blogging world for all it has to offer. Find blogs that really do speak to you, but make sure the blog author is genuine and real. I'm not saying be skeptical of everyone you meet, but be smart. Make sure they're presenting themselves in an honest light. I'm so very far from perfect (and this little blog has all the proof of that!) but I'm willing to acknowledge and learn from my mistakes in hopes that it'll make me a better person. 

If you strive to grow your blog or audience, just make sure you stay true to yourself and look at everything from a grounded perspective. Don't let the hullabaloo of being a "big time blogger" be your driving force. Do it for the people you'll meet, the experiences you'll have, and the stories you have to share!

And while I'm on the topic of awesome audience blogs, leave a link to yours below! I want to get to know you if I haven't already! I'm constantly amazed at how many amazing blogs are out there in my general social circle that I've yet to stumble across! When I find one it's like a big "Ah ha!" moment and I wonder how I had missed it all this time! Please don't ever hesitate to introduce yourselves and send your links! You can always email me, too! (kaelahbee at gmail dot com)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Honest To Blog is a weekly free-writing feature where I share whatever is on my mind. No edits, no filters. Just unapologetic, sometimes offensive, always truthful thought. Click HERE to read all of the past posts in this feature.

This feature has been a saving grace for me and my little blog. I love that you allow me to share my out-there opinions with you even if they're far from popular. It's a wonderful feeling to make LCH a more personal platform.


  1. I love this post, (and all your honest to blog posts). I first started reading you when someone linked me to a wedding post you'd done... as I'm in the midst of wedding planning at the moment! My blog is about 2 months old, and although I would love more followers, its not the reason I do it, and ive already started to form friendships with people. I also have tried to interact with some bigger bloggers and been pretty much snubbed, which is annoying and rude because surely they were where I am once!
    Anyway, you have got the right idea in my mind, I've stopped following a few of the bigger blogs I used to because its all sponsored posts and giveaways now....
    much love from the UK, Belle du Brighton

  2. What an awesome post! I think this is something a lot of bloggers really need to hear, including myself! I really really love this "Honest to Blog" feature.


  3. Hey (: I've been reading your blog for a while, and it never fails to make me smile :) I think my favourite post you ever wrote was your relationship with Mike: it was so sweet!

    I've just started out blogging, but if you want to take a look, it's tumbleweedtwine.blogspot.com

    Saraah ^.^

  4. I'm so glad you posted this!
    I do love your blog, it does inspire me, you seem like a strong woman who knows what she wants in life: happiness and that it comes in all colours of the rainbow (as depicted by your awesome hair colour changes every now and again! :D)

    You're giveaways are fun and that's about it for me, i like the idea of winning something though I'm not one of those lucky people but i love even more seeing all your daily outfits full of colour and confidence and difference and your very personal voice that reaches out to your audience. :)

    Your many tattoos are amazing and fascinating too! Your pictures and your honey bean story is so inspirational!

    I am glad you posted this so i don't have to feel shy about posting my link


    I would be HONORED if you visited and or commented on my blog, to me you ARE one of the 'big name bloggers' because i admire you as a blogger. I did a post where i mentioned you as well, as i talked about Tokkidokki barbie (a barbie with pink hair) and would love if you checked it out :D

    point of post: you're an awesome blogger, so glad i found you!

  5. Thankyou so much for speaking up on this point. I think many people enter into this blogging thing without quite getting that just like anything else in life there are ladders to climb and a great number of douchebags happy to prize your fingers off. A few days ago I tweeted to a blogger I had really admired, telling her how much of an inspiration she was to me - no plugging, no links just a genuine heartfelt message. Did I get a reply? Of course I didn't. It was rather hurtful and unfortunately something that happens a lot of the time. I only have a diddly blog but I love everyone who takes the time to comment and follow.

    Thankyou for keeping your integrity on this matter. As I know - especially with how many followers you have - it's so easy to just coast and let us all blur into some sort of nameless faceless mass. In many ways I think it's one of the reasons your blog has the following it does... and now taht I've taken up a good minute or so of your valuable time I'll get back to the pile of ironing I've been putting off :)



  6. I adore your blog, and I love your honesty Kaylah, you are one of my favorite blogs to read daily because you are so genuine. I hope you continue to be honest and genuine and are selective with your friendships even online. It definitely is making your blog even better.

    I haven't blogged in far too long.... Life has been crazy busy
    I have been keeping up with Tumblr though!


  7. you very inspiring. i like read your blog, looking your outfits. And yes, there are many blogs around there and they are great bloggers. :) really nice to meet you.. :)
    Irene Wibowo

  8. Thank you for being so honest, Kaelah :D You know, blogging is a funny thing. We all (at least most of us) start blogging just for the fun of it and with a distinctive purpose but at some time or another, get all caught up in it. I know I did for a time, and I almost quit. But now, even though once in a while I have a wild feeling of wishing that I had a few more readers, I'm just glad that I can see part of my life as tangible proof on paper. (in this case, a computer screen) When it comes to it, I blog so I can inspire myself, test out my creative juices, and leave behind a place for my memories and that's all that matters for me.

  9. Hey there : ) i have been reading your blog now for a while. I read it cos i love it! I love reading about your goals in life and how you go about meeting them, love your style and find your blog inspiring! I have a blog with a humble 100 followers and i am so very greatful for every single person who reads it! I blog for me, and if im not super cool in the blog world....who cares!! Thanks for your honesty, its refreshing. Love and Peace from jess at http://thehappyscrappyplace.com

  10. I understand perfectly what you are saying, I've already noticed all that drama and popularity contest you mentioned... what I do is I just follow blogs that I truly like, I hate that "Oh, If you follow me I'll follow you" talk, it makes me feel so uncomfortable! I'm just a small and humble blogger, but I talk about what I love, and I expect people to like it or don't like it, not follow me because I made them the favor of following them...
    And yes, it makes me a bit sad when people just don't respond to you... I know they have tons of people to respond to and probably lots of things to do, but it feels really god when people take a little time to respond to you, or visit you and give their honest opinion.

    Anyway, I just recently found your blog and I love to read it, even though I don't always leave comments.
    So, never mind all that drama that comes with blogging, just keep inspiring us! =)

    love, pi*

  11. I love this.

    I honestly don't think it's just high school or blogging -- I think it's life. As I get older, I continue to hope and believe that people will change their catty ways and life will stop being a popularity contest, but that isn't the case. Yes, some people do change, but others don't. It's unfortunate, but we can't change others -- we can only change our reactions to others!

    My solution? I stay out of it. If I see or hear a passive-aggressive comment on-line or in 'real life' I ignore it. I don't even respond. :) It's all about peace and positivity, baby!

    Here's my blog: http://www.the-loudmouth.com <3

  12. oh kaelah...i love this feature so much, and once again I have come to the end of your post with almost as much to say back to you as you have written! Fear not though, I will try to keep it short and sweet:

    firstly, you and your blog have inspired me from day one. seriously. back in march of this year I was only just starting to come out of a 3 year black whole of depression, and somehow I stumbled across your blog...you gave me the inspiration to start my own, to find the good, the positivity; to refind myself. My blog has been a life saviour for me and really helped me find a much happier place, and it's all down to you that i started it! I emailed you on day 1, and even then when I was just starting out you were so lovely, and ever since you have been!

    I have emailed other bloggers over the months on occasion, when a particular post has struck a chord, or made me want to reach out and send some love and smiles, and some bloggers have just point blank ignored me. Which I get. But it's a bit harsh when you're trying to be nice to them. It makes me appreciate bloggers like yourself a lot more, because even though I have come across not so nice bloggers, I have come across a whole host of truly wonderful ones too!

    And I still read your blog every single day. Because I love it so. wowza I said that was going to be short and sweet sorry!

    My url is http://www.happylittlehippy.blogspot.com

    Rosie xxx

  13. Ah, this post really spoke to me. I've had a few times when I would message or email a 'higher-up-blogger' and they totally ignored my question. I got pretty upset, and made excuses like they have a lot of people emailing them or maybe my email didn't go through. Ohwell. I have also seen when a blogger has like 40 or more comments on a post and they either don't reply at all to anyones comment or just choose one person to reply to. I wish people were more nicer on the internet sometimes, but then again I have found a lot of nice smaller bloggers who are awesome!

  14. Oh wow this is such a great post. My blog is small but I have met so many great people through it. Of course it would be great to have more followers but your are right, that should never be the sole purpose of blogging.

    I hope you don't let the negativity discourage you from blogging. I suppose it is like life in general where there will be good and there will be bad.

    My best wishes to you, for your honesty and dedication :-)

    My blog is

  15. You always hit it spot-on with these posts. I so appreciate your honesty.

    I really hate generic comments like "cute outfit" or "nice dress" and then a bazillion links. I mean, do people just glance at the pictures and then comment with something just so they can throw there links out there? Without even a care as to what the blog is about? I'd rather have 5 genuine, sincere readers then 100,000 readers who are just in it for themselves. You can't blog for other people; it won't make you happy and you'll end up feeling drained and sick of it.

    And by the way, I LOVE the way you interact with your readers. I remember I emailed you once with a question about html-coding, and you got back to me really quickly and were super sweet. (Total opposite of experiences I've had with other "bigger" bloggers.)

    Anyway, thanks again for these posts! I really enjoy reading them and getting to know you through them. :) ♥

    Maria Elyse
    First Impressions
    Flying Ships Vintage

  16. Thanks for being honest and sharing the things you're challenged by. My blog is tiny, so although I'm not struggling with becoming 'that blogger', you're thoughts definitely resonate with me and what kind of person I want to be in 'real life'.
    I must admit that I find the size of someone's following intimidating - especially when I want to leave a comment and I'm well aware that I'm a blogging nobody. So it's encouraging that you're trying hard not to be superficial and actually engage with people who take the time to comment :)


  17. I know exactly what you mean with all of this, and just an FYI: I have never gotten that feeling with your blog (I have been following you for quite a long time, pretty much my second longest read blog). Just in case you were wondering ;)

    My whole family is in the middle of a move across the entire country, so my updates have been lacking lately. But normally I tend to update a decent amount, if you are interested: A Life Photographed
    Also, I am a lady of very few words ;)

  18. Thanks for this one, Kaelah. I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately because while I really enjoy reading and commenting on a few very popular crafting/DIY blogs, I have never yet gotten any kind of comment or acknowledgement back from the authors. Your thoughts just made me take a step back and think about which "big bloggers" actually do respond to readers and treat the blogging world like an actual community of friends, and that makes me appreciate them even more.
    xo Allison

  19. this is a great post. I follow a LOT of blogs and i finally started unfollowing the ones that i just followed because i thought the person was lame/ungenuine and i wanted to see what they would post next. that just adds negativity to my day! Now I make it my goal to leave a comment on at least half of the entries i leave just because i know people like to know that someone is reading and enjoying what they are putting out there! and i've made some really fun online friends that way. i struggle with how to get more followers without becoming "that blogger" because i just want more people to interact with.
    i really want to say hi to you in person one day. i went in the bean at the flea market last week, and you were busy with some customers and i lost my nerve and ran away! haha, so lame. i'm hoping maybe i'll see you at the dog park one day because for some reason i am much less shy if i've got one of my pugs with me. and because i want to snuggle those cute cute puppies!

  20. I think I've said this before, but I really love that you do these posts. I'm a fairly new blogger and I guess am a little naive to the whole "blogging circle". I really hate the fact to hear that it exists on the internet...it's bad enough that all of us have to deal with it in person in HS.

    I myself am going to try to stay away from the whole 'clique' action on the web. I wasn't into that in HS, or now, so why would I do it online? I think it's amazing that you try to stay true to who you are, and that's quite inspiring!

    I value each one of my readers (the whole 19 that I have :p) and if that's all I have from the entire time I blog, so be it! I just do it cause it's fun and it's a way for me to express myself the way I can't necessarily do in person. It's sad that people just want readers. I mean, I guess it's part of the point of blogging, so people read what you have to say, but at least be real and respond back, ya know? :)

    The more I read posts like yours, the more of a better blogger I will want to be. Thanks Kaelah. I think you're awesome and your blog really is inspiring and I'm glad you stay true to yourself.




  21. the blog machine can be such a monster! i am trying to just blog in order to express my creativity in a new way and make genuine friends and not think about the "big" blogs.

    i found your blog last week after seeing someone post a photo of your camper/booth on facebook. it's been my dream to do that exact thing and i was jealous that someone got to it first in nashville! i almost cried looking at the photos of bernadette because this feels like something i want to do SO badly. i am a grown-ass woman but i felt so jealous! luckily, that feeling didn't last very long and i am so happy for you that you are following your dreams! i started following the camper people in KY on facebook and dreamily looking at their postings... who knows, i may never get to do that, but at least i can live vicariously through you! i am happy that at 23 you are pursuing what you love. i did the same thing at 23 and i had SO many great adventures... my heart is just pulled in a different direction now, but i'm pretty rooted into my job/industry and while i'm no mrs. moneybags, i don't think i could keep my standard of living if i quit everything and became the bohemian i so want to become. :)

    so, i'll just keep squeezing in shopping before work and after work and stocking my booth at the tennessee antique mall over lunch and on the weekends and hopefully that will satisfy my "shop-owner" desire... meanwhile, i'll keep reading your blog and socking away money just in case the camper dream ever becomes a reality. :)

    anyway, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself and let you know i relate to you over wanting to stay out of blog drama. :)


  22. hi honeybee, I enjoy every visit of your blog. I'm totally in love with your style and as I said in some previous comment, I'm really jealous about your cardigan collection ,). at least I adore you feminine figure, because girls with figure like 12-years-old would look great in everything (but I always get hungry when I browse those blog) and you always look fantastic. Thanks for inspiring!


  23. I often find the blogs I like the most are the ones who don't have 1,000 of followers as it often doesn't feel genuine but more aimed at certain people or groups of people.

    For me blogging is about having fun when your writing and being true to yourself, I used to worry all time that I didn't have very many followers, but now I don't mind so much because I know the posts I do are honest and they are me. They aren't manufactured around what I think I need to post, but rather what I want to post.

    I've never thought your blog has been anything but honest, I follow you on twitter as well, and I don't see any difference at all. It would be a sad day if you were to leave the blogging sphere, so I hope you never reach that point again.


  24. I found this really inspiring, I've just started a blog and I really want to make some friends through blogging but I guess it's all too easy to get caught up in statistics and all of that stuff :)

  25. Dear Kaelah,

    I absolutely enjoy your honest to blog-series. It`s sp very rare that peolpe/bloggers speak up their mind like you do and I really appreciate that!

    It`s really hard to not fall in that blogging-trap of just wanting to be "famous" and at the same time completely loose yourself....I think you kind of have to go through that a little to see clear again...

    I`ve emailed a few bloggers in the past year or so, but only a few (including you:D) wrote back...and I have to say things like that (along with others) really are a reason to unfollow someone or just get a different point of view.

    Have a great sunday<3

  26. Hey girly, I'm so glad I read this this morning. Even though I don't comment too often, I read your blog every day. Yours was one of the first I would read for inspiration when I was first even thinking of starting a blog. I love your honesty and creativity!

    I know I let myself get caught up with numbers, followers, and why-my-blog-isn't-as-famous-as-hers thoughts. I've been blogging for almost two years and don't have the number of people reading that I would love to have. But when I get genuine comments from people who I know don't want to just drop their link somewhere where everyone will see it, or the compliments from random people I haven't talked to in forever, I know I'm doing it for the right reasons.

    While there will always be people out there who want to be your friend for the wrong reasons, think of all the people you really do inspire daily! Even those people who don't always say it. You're awesome. :)

  27. I love how honest you're in these posts, it's truly refreshing!
    I'll leave you my url, it's a small blog but I'm very proud of how much it grew this year. To be honest I do care about my stats and it's nice to see with some hard work my blog was able to grow but I'm no slave and I only do it because it gives me pleasure, I'm very bad at faking to like something for a very long time =]

  28. I think I'm loving this feature more with each post :)

    "I know some of you still side-eye me when I say or do things you might think are totally hypocritical or stupid... it's human nature. I do it, too. I very often say/do things that aren't in line with my thoughts/beliefs without realizing."

    I think that's a big point, that even people who give you advice or have an opinion can make mistakes, I feel like people always think that if you're giving the advice it means you've learned it yourself. No, sometimes we "know" things but we havn't "learned" them... if that makes ANY sense at all bahaha :)

    Loved this whole post!

  29. I think it is amazing that you had the courage to post this. I have often noticed the actions of other big-time bloggers, and it is quite frustrating. Ultimately, I think it is they who are missing out on meeting genuine people in the blogging world.

    I think there was probably a day when I thought that getting more followers was the most important thing, but lately I've just started blogging to blog. Blogging about things that I like/love/want/etc. instead of things that others are blogging about.

    It feels good.

    Thanks for being an honest and respectful blogger!

    xox Eden

  30. I just read through all of your Honest to Blog posts and I have to say it was really refreshing to know someone else felt the same way about this blogging world. I struggle every day with not falling into "bloggers guilt" over not posting enough, not having perfect photos all the time, etc. And taking on sponsors just feeds that feeling and pressure to constantly do MORE and BETTER. This all should be fun and genuine and uniquely, honestly ME (us, and whoever else...) but I think we have to fight to keep that alive in what we do.

    It was so interesting to me when I did my One Question Interview series awhile back (you were part of that, thanks again!) because I contacted bloggers from both ends of the spectrum. And there were some huge bloggers that I totally didn't necessarily expect a response from because of understandable factors... but instead they sent me really nice, genuine emails and were happy to participate. There was one (who I obviously won't name) who was just very difficult about the whole thing and just blew me off. I lost a LOT of respect for that person because I had really looked up to them.

    Anyways, Im babbling now. I could go on forever about this topic. Haha All this to say I appreciate you and what you've shared. It's nice to know that there are "big time" bloggers out there with their feet still planted firmly on the ground. : ) Hope you're having a good weekend.


  31. I've read your blog for a long time now, & I don't think I've ever felt more.. personally connected? Like, I just had a moment of real understanding about you (&blogging),& I don't really know if I'm making sense at all. I've enjoyed your blog because you share lots of my favourite things, but I must admit.. I felt intimidated by you, by all bloggers with such a high number of followers! Its crazy, how did they get so many I wonder ... all of the time. I blog because in the art world, It's hard to be successful if nobody see's your work (duh:P), so I've started blogging again... properly this time, with real effort (recently actually) and when I got back into this crazy world I felt so lost! (still do and probably will for quite some time) but that won't make me stop, I'm really enjoying myself! and that's all that matters really! (some of these bigger blogs... It's a real business for them, they make so much money from blogging it blows my mind, of course, I'm not saying they didn't work hard to earn the right to charge so much, but ... it puts a barrier between them and their readers & I think they got lost along the way, sure they can offer hundred of dollars worth of free things out each month but... I don't know, it just makes me uneasy so I don't read so many of them any more, and I totally agree with what you've said about them) ... yikes, long winded and probably unreadable but hey! :)

  32. Hi Kaelah! I have really been enjoying your "Honest To Blog" series so far and this post most of all. I think what you are saying here about making honest and meaningful connections through blogging is so important. I try to connect with other bloggers and potential readers as much as possible. We are so lucky to have a platform that provides us with the opportunity to make friends all over the country and all over the world! Friends that we would have never met or even heard of otherwise. Posts like these are really inspirational and are the reason why I keep coming back to your blog. Thank you!

    I'm Elisha by the way!

  33. i absolutely love that you have made 'honest to blog' a weekly feature and really admire that you are brave enough to publish these feelings out into the blogging community. i completely agree with you about the way some bloggers conduct themselves and that makes me so so comment shy - but i adore you and your blog so i kind of felt compelled to comment on this one! it's so nice to know that even 'bigger' blogs like yours have super big hearts! xo

  34. Hi, I'm Melissa!W sort of know each other briefly and we've emailed each other before. You were one of my first blogs I read and became a big inspiration. I gave you an award a couple of days ago and I blog over at Contemporary Dancing!
    I concentrate on writing about the thing I love which is dance and also love making new friends instead of focusing on popularity. Someone once taught me to not to be jealous or upset because you think someone is better than you but to instead think of them as an idol and hope to be where they are some day. This is key in the dancing career but a lot of dancers eye others up as competition which I find nasty! This is a well written post and I just love it. And your blog! Thank you for posting this! xox
    Melissa, http://blog.contemporarydancing.co.uk

  35. I love your Honest to Blog feature.
    This one really hit home for me since I haven't been blogging too long. I've been reading your blog for years because I like your attitude,
    opinions, ideas, and style. I feel like if I knew you in real life, I'd like you.
    On a side note, anytime someone comments my blog, I return the favor. But I have noticed some blogs where they've been blogging 3 months maybe and don't have many followers and they won't comment you back. I see them leave comments on other blogs but they won't comment their readers back and it just seems rude. I mean, if you're new ,you should understand how it is so you think it wouldn't have gone to their heads already. I joined the blogging world because this is the only place I've found girls with similar interests as me.
    I'll stop before this gets too long, but I totally agree with this post. Blogging should be a support system and a way to branch out and make friends all over the world; not a competition.



  36. An excellent post, in that as much as it applies to the blogging world, this is a good attitude to have in life as well. Years ago, I was in with the cool crowd (as much as my school had one), but they grew to be so catty and dull, that I just had to hightail it out of there. The genuine friends I made afterwards are still close to me now, so I know what counts! I appreciate you putting this out there. Take care!

  37. Kaelah, I started reading your blogs a few months ago after you redesigned E-Tells Tales blog. I loved the new design {as an aspiring designer myself} and then got hooked on your blog because of your honesty and approachable writing. Your blog is now a 'daily read' for me. I so look forward to sitting down with my cup of coffee in the morning and seeing what's new in blogland.. so much better than reading the news!

    I'm not one to leave my link behind, but just today because you asked: www.pricelessadventure.com

  38. You're so right on about this. I have to say I am so grateful for blogging because I met two of my best friends through it, but I've also made other friends through blogging and once I got to know a couple of them, it was hard to want to genuinely be their friend because they appeared to be more into riding the coattails of other bloggers for pageviews rather than associate with people who they really enjoy being around. These bloggers were super nice at first, but it's hard to see that when it's blatantly obvious they would befriend anyone if it somehow benefited them. I don't have lots of followers or pageviews or anything, and I am fine with that, but it still made me wonder if they were only talking to me to see if I could somehow benefit them in the future.

    That being said, I have always enjoyed the honesty and positivity of your blog. Please keep up with the Honest To Blog feature, I think it might be my favorite you've ever done. :)


  39. I love this. I am actually really inspired by your blog, but it took me a long while to start following regularly because I'd found that most blogs with a large following aren't very personal and don't leave much of an opportunity to connect. I think your blog is genuine and makes it easy to connect and I'm glad you wrote about this. It helps me remember to blog for the love of it and not for gaining more followers. :) Have a great Sunday!

  40. I really liked this post - I get where you're coming from. I'm not in the blogging big leagues (oh yeah: www.sarahrooftops.co.uk) but I'm writing it for my pleasure not anybody else's; I admit I look at my stats now and then but I don't care if they're low or static - the people who do read my blog and comment on it are by and large lovely and I'd rather have a handful of them in my life than so many readers that I just don't have time to talk to them all!

    As for the cold reader-grabbing behaviour of some blog writers... I think you summed it up pretty well yourself!

  41. I just wanted to say that you do inspire me. I love your sense of style and confidence. I love that you had an idea to start your own business and did it. (And while I know we don't actually know each other, I am very proud of you.)

  42. plainvanillamemoirs.blogspot.com

    Blogging should always be for you, don't let people get you down. :)

  43. Couldn't agree with this post more.
    There is nothing more frustrating or impersonal than a generic, copy, pasted,
    "Great blog, follow me and I will follow you back",
    I would never respond to these comments, and it would actually put me off following them!
    If they can't take the time to actually read my post and make a thoughtful comment then why should I?
    However when someone leaves a creative comment, and signs it with their URL its a bit more mysterious, and makes me wanna see what they have to offer.
    It's a shame you were thinking of leaving the blogging world, but please don't!
    Your posts are refreshing and honest. I'm new to blogging so haven't really seen the negative side yet, not seen much of anything if I'm being honest, but your blog does give me something to aspire too.
    Keep doing your blog for yourself, if it makes you happy :)

  44. I love your Honest To Blog posts. I mean, your blog is a favourite of mine in general, but I really love this series. It's like a peek into your every-day life and mind. It makes you easier to relate to... more 'human', even, and that's awesome.
    I've unfollowed so many potentially awesome blogs recently because I just can't stomach the nonsense. I hate 'big time blogs' that don't even comment back. I know my blog isn't huge... But I really try to comment back to every person... I even am considering making my blog an ad-free blog so that my readers really know that I'm blogging for me. And I'm not going to lie: I do enjoy finding new stores to peruse and shop from and I love finding new blogs to follow! But the never-ending flow of those ad posts reeeeally gets old.
    Thanks for keeping it real! :)
    I almost feel hypocritical leaving my blog link, but you asked for our links, so I might as well.
    Hope your day is awesome. I reallly love these Honest To Blog posts!!

  45. Wow, I can't believe I read that whole thing. But, you really did address quite a bit of what I have often felt intimidated by in the blogging "world".

    And,for me, as a seemingly small time blogger it can be hard to not get sucked into the race to the top. But, fortunately I and many others have found their own voice in all the noise (though it took me a while of searching).

    Really enjoyed your post today :)

    -Ladipo (Pattie)

  46. I couldn't agree more! Living in NYC I've happened to meet alot of those "elitist" bloggers with their not-so-friendly mentality because they're full time, professional bloggers, and I'm just a part time because of my full time job in fashion.

    I personally love checking out the blogs of my followers and all other random blogs, trying to leave comments and be friendly!

    I forget how I found your blog (I think looking for tattooed bloggers to feel less alone). You're style is quite different form mine, but I still love your blog and all the fun trinkets, an the unique features!

    XO Sahra

  47. I think you're right, there's a whole little clique in UK blogging and if you're not part of it you've no chance! My blog is http://www.frenchforcupcake.com xxx

  48. I love your Honest to Blog Section! Don't let people get to you, they are just jealous. Keep on being you because we love you!


  49. Aw, Kaelah, I love your heart (and you!).

    I'm so glad you posted this. It really is something I try to cautiously watch for as I find new blogs. I blog because I have a passion. I want to be the change I want to see in the world. I have big dreams, and if I can gain friends that are on the same mindset as myself, via blogging, YES PLEASE! I have big plans for the future (just like your honeybean) and I hope to take all of my newfound bloggy friends along with me for the ride.

    The fact of the matter is, whether I receive ONE follower, or a thousand, that's someone that *I'VE* touched in some way and it compelled them to follow lil' ol me.

    I love that.

    I can admit, when big time bloggers acknowledge me, I get a little giddy sometimes.

    I am a huge fan of the Pioneer woman, and when she replied to a few of my tweets, my day was made.

    And yourself as well. You were on of the very first blogs I followed and before I even got to know you, I thought "WOW! look at all her followers! I wonder if she has time to really converse with them all" ... and you DO. You have such a big heart and have always been so kind to me, and helpful. Lovelovelove that.

    I wish we lived closer!! :)

    Thanks again for posting this. I hope others will take it to heart.

    We are not in high school (well, some of us are, but that's besides the point) blogging is not meant to be a catty "who is the best blogger" fiasco. Behind it all, there has to be a PASSION, a real drive, not a goal to see who can get the most followers.

  50. Love this. And I think just with anything in life you should follow your instincts...you know pretty quickly whether someone isn't going to give you the time of day. And just like you wouldn't start up an "IRL" friendship with a person that treated you that way, you probably wouldn't want to start a blogging relationship with them. Love your honesty and your perspective, and thanks for sharing :)

    My blog is at http://tomakelovestay.blogspot.com. I usually hate putting links to my blog in comments so I'm only doing it because you asked :) Have a great Sunday love!

  51. I follow you because I think you are adorable. I am a new follower and I think you got me around the time you posted you bus. LOVE! But this post , I now have a mad girl crush. I agree 100% I will not link to another blog if I don't feel in support of it too. I do not have paid advertising because of this. I don't think it's true support to have "sponsors" and take money if I only post those who I am in support of. I am so tired of certain blogs where every other post is sponsor me, or follow me! I can watch tv if I wanted constant advertising. I have recently streamlined my reader and unfollowed lots. Thank you for this post and making me feel like I am not the anti-blogger or the only one that feels this way!

  52. This is really refreshing to read. I just met up with a blog friend I've had for a few years and was telling her how I felt like blogging was like the high school popularity concert I never experienced until now. I only just found your blog now, and I don't know much about you, but it's just SO nice to see that not everyone's in this for popularity.


  53. I've definitely felt pushed aside by more popular bloggers. They write entries about wanting to connect and about being interested in their readers but constantly ignore me. I've just unfollowed them. I'm more interested in someone genuine.


  54. Kaelah,

    I thought this was a good post to leave a thought about. I enjoyed reading it- I love that your blog lately has taken this more personal turn. I think it's so interesting to read your thoughts like this, and and I really really enjoy these kind of posts.

    I understand where you're coming from - I think that it transcends beyond just blogging though- it's kind of a life thing. I think you'll find people like you described in all walks of life, all circles...the social ladder climbers, users, etc. It can get really frustrating.

    Like you, I stopped reading blogs that I don't enjoy or don't inspire me. Most of the blogs I read now are not "big" blogs at all, and they are the best. To be honest I've kind of taken a step back from twitter too for the sake of not "getting" it. I don't see the point a lot and I found that often it would leave me feeling annoyed or even bummed out. I just blog to blog, document Henry's life, etc. and I enjoy it so much more just focusing on that. I agree with you that many of my favorite blogs come from my readers'- recently I've found some of my favorites through clicking through my comments.

    Speaking on the reasons for doing this or that, I was curious if you've ever considered not doing sponsorship? It's been on my mind so much lately. I feel like it kind of devalues the medium in a way, at least for me. But at the same time I feel like I give so much time to blogging and it's so so neat to be able to promote all of these rad shops. I don't know- I'm kind of torn/conflicted about it. Wondering if you've ever had these thoughts?

    You've always come across as a super intelligent, real woman, and that's incredibly refreshing. I just wanted to leave a little comment and let you know how much I enjoy these posts.


  55. i love your blog because it's a sincere space for sharing creativity, kindness, whimsical thinking, and FUN! the world needs more places like that, so don't evereverever let the creepy blogger girls run you out of town ;)


  56. I look forward to your "Honest to Blog" posts every week. I completely agree with what you've said here. By no means am I a "successful" or "popular" blogger, but I do follow and observe many. It is easy to tell who is genuine and who is not. I appreciate you addressing this issue. Blogging is such a personal thing and I love when people keep it real.

    I read your blog because I'm interested in you. Your giveaways are fun, and your outfits are cute . . . but the best thing about your blog is how genuine and natural you are. You became one of my favorites almost instantly.


  57. I love this. Blogging is so much more fun and true at heart when it's done for fun and for the love of it, not for gaining followers and sponsorships. So well said!

    ps. I love your blog and I love seeing fellow tattooed girls rocking the blogging world. Your genuineness is what has kept me coming back for years. Keep up the good work!


  58. I love this. Blogging is so much more fun and true at heart when it's done for fun and for the love of it, not for gaining followers and sponsorships. So well said!

    ps. I love your blog and I love seeing fellow tattooed girls rocking the blogging world. Your genuineness is what has kept me coming back for years. Keep up the good work!


  59. I LOVE THIS POST! I am a little bit teary eyed over it because there are so many great girls out there with wonderful things to say who need a platform and there is the blog mafia who says what is popular... and it is through comments on blogs (like yours) that are so empowering to women and who say "unpopular" things that I find the kind of blogs I want to read! Thank you for being so authentic and saying "unpopular" girl-positive things... you are a very positive and powerful voice out there - not just in fashionable honeybean things but in the political message you put out there through posts like this... I wish there was a way I could "like" some/SO MANY of the comments on this post... so many rad girls here that I am going to add to my reader RIGHT NOW!

    Thanks K!

  60. I do a cull of the blogs I follow every few months to assess how I feel about them. There are too many good blogs out there to waste your time on ones that don't inspire you.


  61. this is so amazing! i literally had no idea this blogging corner of the internet existed until about a year ago, and i found it crazy that there were normal everyday people who were able to reach so many readers. that totally influenced my first blog, but alas i didn't work out! it is SO easy to get caught up in the dream of being a "big time blogger". although i didn't really network at all for my first blog, i still worked to hard to please my readers rather than myself. and also realized that there is a huge difference between networking to meet new people and new blogs, and networking to gain more followers and the *prizes* associated with it. but just like anything, if you are doing something for gain and it isn't representing you, you run out of steam! eventually have to step back and say "this won't work unless i do it for myself and it completely represents me" the minute it doesn't, it becomes a hassle. blogging is fun and easy for me now because i don't care who reads my blog! i don't care what they think, if they love it or hate it. *I* love it! now blogging gives me more strength in being myself in every situation of my life because i try to be so honest on my blog. as soon as i feel myself trying to blog for my (few) readers, i end up hating it anyway. it just isn't worth it to do it for anyone but you! i totally learned that the hard way, but it was a good lesson to learn. and it influenced my life in more ways than one. as people pleaser, its hard to not try and please everyone. blogging has given me the strength not to do that ♥


  62. Love this!!


  63. It's like you read my mind! I understand that bloggers with an insane amount of followers may not be able to read all of their tweets, etc., but to never, ever take the time to respond to anyone is insulting to the readers. I have a very small blog, but for me, checking out the blogs of the people who read and comment is kind of like an appreciation thing. I don't always respond to every comment, but especially if I see someone commenting on most of my entries, I make an effort to stop by and say hi.

    I think the worst part about this issue is twitter -- something that is SO SIMPLE and SO QUICK to respond on, you'll see "bigger bloggers" ignore tweets alllllll the time, only to quickly respond and enter into a conversation with their other blog friends.

    I have made some really great friends through blogging, and I hope to continue that....and how is that supposed to happen if I never respond to anyone? :P



  64. I love this post KB!
    As of lately I have been feeling this way about a few people I follow. Even though they are inspiring, the way people avoid others is just cruel. especially when you are trying to be genuine and create new friendships because you seem to enjoy the same things. It is very disheartening when you think you and some other blogger could be great friends, e-pals, whatever you want to call it, and they put no interest back into you. I honestly would rather them personally email me and tell me to "fuck off", but a politer way to say "leave me alone is always welcome". Haha

    Great post


  65. Hello there!! I have to say your "honest to blog" features are one of my favorites. You're definitely a genuine girl and a unique one at that! And you were actually one of the only bloggers who have emailed me back! You gave me some insight on the whole graphic design.. And for that i thank you! Have a lovely one! :)



  66. I just wanted to say that I admire your Honest To Blog posts, all of them.

    Your blog does inspire me and so do you. You're kind and smart and you have a openminded view towards life, which I find a good quality in people.

  67. Great post! I have recently started my own blog and its in that "development" stage of where I want it to go. I have been following other blogs including yours for some time now, and there are definitely blogs out there that lack "human" qualities to them: lives are portrayed as prim and perfect, closets are packed to max capacity, and everything is so overtly positive and loving. Yes, in a world where all you here are bad things on the news, etc, people need to accept the reality of being a human means we are not always perfect, or happy, or have "glamorous" lives. Reaching people in a real way means that you have a sincere connection with them. I agree with so much of what you say.

  68. Kaelah,

    I can not begin to tell you how much your blog makes me feel good. I know that I can come to you and just let you know how im feeling and just your outlook will kick me right into gear. :)
    I can understand how you can feel this way. Its so hard to not get all wrapped up into blogging and loose focus. I really love blogging because I have major social anxiety and I rarely can go out with people and do things. With blogging even though there is a loneliness sometimes it really helps me meet people i have stuff in common with.

    I have met a really great friend through blogging and I feel she knows more about me then anyone really could. Im going to meet her in 2 weeks which is so exciting and for the first time i have no anxiety about it I know its right.

    I don't like how we hold these big bloggers up on some sort of pedestal, these people are really no different then any of us. I feel it causes a lot of conflict with our selves and self confidence issues sometimes. I dont know this is just me.. Ive gone off on some tagent so ill stop.

    You and your writings have inspired me a lot and I think thats what this is all about.

  69. I mainly read your blog in Google Reader but click over occasionally to comment on how pretty you are and on your lack of smiles. :)


  70. I'm glad that you addressed this topic, I think a lot of people feel the same way. Glad to see something so genuine from such a popular blogger. Also, I love that you use the term 'side-eye' it makes me giggle every time 'cause that's so something that females do haha.


  71. I'm glad that you addressed this topic, I think a lot of people feel the same way. Glad to see something so genuine from such a popular blogger. Also, I love that you use the term 'side-eye' it makes me giggle every time 'cause that's so something that females do haha.


  72. Since you did my (very cute) blog design, I am sure you are aware that it exists. I admit that I have unfollowed a number of blogs recently that I wasn't getting anything out of but I have replaced those with blogs I genuinely find interesting or insightful. I have to be honest with myself in both what I blog and what I read.


  73. I think that the honest to blog posts are my favorite of the week. I think most of us love you for this very reason. Some bloggers that are very popular are so worried about offending a a select group of people and loosing followers that you don't get to see who they really are. I love that I can ask you for a quick word of advice and you respond with something non-generic. You have helped me out of more than a few pickles. You have so many followers and you write like you only have a few. Like you are speaking to a group of friends. Its amazing.
    I unfollowed a few blogs the last few weeks myself. I just feel like there are so many genuine bloggers that I don't have time to read the fake ones.
    Your the best - seriously!
    Gracie B

  74. I adore this post! I know exactly what you mean by the bigger bloggers who ignore people, and it's not too dis-similar to the 'popular' girls at school. I love the 'Honest to Blog' feature, and the way you write. Alike you, I'm not the best commenter, which I really should be, but I reply to everyone who comments/tweets as soon as I see it, which I think is really important, and through those means you can establish some really good friendships! I think it's good you've put this out there, many would be to shy, but you've conveyed the subject perfectly! Once again, a fantastic post!


  75. Hey! I follow because I enjoy your outfit posts - and today, this post about honesty. Please keep up the great blogging.


  76. Reading this post makes me glad that we had the chance to meet and become friends. Since I've read your blog for 2 years now I always could tell that you were a great person and getting to know you just proves it. I'm happy that you have continued to keep blogging because honestly I love this blog. I love hearing about what you are doing/have done even if I was there in person. I've always wanted do start a blog, though I have started one and it sucks lol, but reading this and some of your other stuff bums me out just knowing that people are so concerned with their number of followers or how famous they get doing it. Keep your head up buttercup, you are wonderful. I'm so happy to be part of your life and your wedding.



  77. Love, love, love, love, LOVE this post!!!
    Your awesome :)
    xo, Jamie

  78. Hi! Thank you for your honesty, this post was great. I have also met some fantastic friends through blogging - and I am the same way with my friendships. I love a real honest and caring relationship <3


  79. I love this, it's so true! Blogging has introduced me to some of the greatest people that I'd otherwise never have met. It's such a great tool for friendships.. but it definitely gets abused by people who just want to climb to the top. I just recently started reading your blog, and I really love it. Lots. :)

  80. This is exactly why I read your blog, because you're real. As far as I can tell, you're in this blogging thing for you (but in a good way). I can relate to you and I know there are a bunch of other girls that relate to you too! Keep up the good work on your adorable little blog <3

  81. I'm always so impressed by your honesty in these posts (even though it is called "Honest to Blog"--I'm still impressed that you are actually honest about it) and how spot on you are. It's really easy for me to feel like it's a competition or always feel jealous of bloggers, especially because they can all seem to have perfect lives, and so I love that your posts make me step back a little and regain perspective.


  82. Hi kaelah! I loved this post so much, it's so true! I feel sometimes people only leave me comments so they can say "follow me! Follow me!". I like genuine comments that show they have actually taken in my post and have a comment to make.

    Also sometimes I get bogged down if I hadn't had any views one day but then I realise that I am blogging to share my crafty business, for me. Not for views!
    Thanks again little chief!
    I don't normally leave my URL in the comment section but as you requested :D http://www.messyla.com


  83. great post kaelah.

    i am glad you didn't leave the blog world.
    i would have missed you. i have been going through "i just do not want to blog anymore" phase for a few months... not because i do not enjoy it..but because it felt like a competition on how many followers you can get and all the jazz and i felt like i HAD to comment on the many blogs that i follow..i felt like if i did not comment, it meant that i did not read their post. it was and is draining sometimes.

    instead, i stepped away and only blog when i really feel like blogging and read blogs and enjoy them more without having to comment all the time.

    it is not about the numbers/pageviews/free stuff you can get out of it..it is about doing what makes you happy and making many fabulous friends along the way.

    you always say the things i want to say.
    thankfully you do and you say it so well. :)
    i love ya girl. keep on being the amazing person that you are.

  84. I love all of the Honest to Blog posts. I started reading your blog in late 2010,and I found it via your Tumblr. My communication skills aren't the best online or off,but anyway,if I didn't like your blog and content,I wouldn't follow. :) My url is amberstclare[DOT]tumblr[DOT]com.

  85. Posts like these are some of the reason that I love your blog for what it is! I'm glad we've been able to chit chat on Twitter and such because you are really inspiring, but also really relatable and approachable.
    I have made some friends through blogging and that's what's really important for me. I've moved a few times since I started my blog and am a shy person, so I havent made many friends in my new city, but it's so nice to find like minded friends through blogging. Of course, I've sometimes gotten caught up in the blogging world and wished I could be part of the ~kewl crowd~ but that's human nature.
    Once again, thanks for brining these issues to light and discussion. I think it's an issue that many of us think about but are unsure of the platform to use of how to articulate what we mean.

  86. I love your 'Honest to Blog' posts, especially because I am just starting to really getting into blogging and I can see how easy it is to fall into those traps.

    Also, I now know why I have a hard time feeling like I fit in with the popular blogs, because I had the same problem in high school! I wouldn't call it a problem though, because I didn't actually WANT to be in with the popular crowd then and I don't now either.

    Your blog is also one that I read simply because I love it, it has nothing to do with kids or food, which are the majority of blogs I read. <3


  87. This is such a wonderful post!! I was at one point following a lot of blogs that I found through others and thought I should just bc everyone else seemed to. After a while I actually found it to be a chore to read certain blogs in this big ring of "big bloggers" I finally asked myself why the I hell i was wasting my time when there are so many wonderful ones out there!! I don't need to like a blog just bc a butt ton of other people do, especially when the person is so ungenuine!! I love your blog, it is so refreshing and real!!


  88. I've been blogging for almost a year now...and I've been following you for most of that year. Who knows how I came across your blog, but I was drawn to reading about someone who also adores dressing up, is into tattoos, loves photography, is obsessed with their adorable dogs and is really into music.

    Be true to you....that's why I'm here.


  89. Hi Kaelah,
    I really agree with some of the points here! I'm fairly shy even through blogging (I rarely comment but read everything that I follow). However, when people comment I always reply. I understand that as a small blog its easier for me, but you always make the effort. Once I commented on a big blog that I loved, and then they responded to nearly everyone else who was a fellow big bloggger and ignored me :(
    My blog has been a bit neglected due to the fact I got married in September so all my time got stolen for wedding crafting! :)

  90. I'm so glad that you didn't pull the plug on your blog. I completely understand why you could get to the point of wanting to do that, but I'm glad you didn't. I enjoy reading -- especially about you building your business, because I find it very inspiring! I also love when you talk about things in and around Nashville because even though I'm glad I moved home to PA to be with family, I miss Nashvegas almost every day!
    - Mandi (http://www.lifeinbeta.com)

  91. Loved this post. I've read your blog a few times, but lost the url and so glad Lauren at Busy Bee Lauren tweeted about it!

    Very well said, blog post! :)



  92. Thank you for sharing this post. I love your "honest to blog" posts!

    I do think a lot of people get into blogging for the wrong reason. They just want to be popular. And then if they actually become popular, a lot of them ignore their followers!

    There have been quite a few times where I've contacted bloggers with real questions about what they are doing with their business/questions about a trip they went on (because I want to go there)/just to tell them that they inspired me and I haven't received a response back, but I see back-and-forth between them and another popular blogger about something silly like shoes or a TV show.
    I love it when a popular blogger who I know is busy takes the time to reply though! Rachael at Talk 2 the Trees is REALLY good about responding to people even though she gets loads of comments.
    That's not to say I don't appreciate ANY comment though. I don't care who it is, I love knowing that someone liked my post enough to comment.
    I don't have many followers, but I do always make the effort to respond to everyone and visit their blogs because I KNOW how frustrating it is to post something you're really proud of and then feel like no one cares. I'm trying to comment more on blogs I subscribe to, but I think I'm following too many now since I barely read most of them now and just look at the pictures. =\
    But yes, back to people blogging for the wrong reason, I kind of feel like a lot of big bloggers are blogging solely for the sponsor money/gifts or popularity, and while it's cool that they have such a following, I don't feel like some of them even care about meeting people or connecting with their readers anymore. It's disappointing, but I still follow a few of them because almost every other blog I read is always talking about them! Which... Is really kind of weird, when you think about it!


  93. Love these posts. And, I agree with you. I read your blog because I truly enjoy it. And, thanks for not shuttin' things down. <3

  94. I love this post, and think I may have encountered some of the people you are referring to myself! It is a real turn-off when you think someone is just genuinely nice, and then you learn they are only friendly to those in their little circle or who can help them get more traffic. I have actually stopped reading some of the most popular blogs after being basically ignored and dismissed by the bloggers themselves. It is nice to know someone like yourself who has a lot of followers feels the same way!


  95. I'm really glad you posted this, because last night I was feeling really down about the competitiveness I've been seeing in blog land. Sometimes I feel like blogging is so pointless when I spend a long time creating something to share and then it seems like nobody cares, I feel like quitting. Of course we all want people to read our posts and care and leave comments, or else we'd just write in a private diary. I always try and comment on posts I like because I know how it feels to have one or zero comments on something I'm very proud of. With so many "popular blogs" doing giveaway after giveaway, it seems like a girl has to use bribery to find followers. I'm broke, I can hardly pay for rent and groceries... I can't give things away left and right, and I wouldn't feel right doing that constantly anyway. I have met so many great people through blogging, a lot of them in person, and it's always a positive experience. Their encouraging comments keep me going. I need to focus more on that and forget about the "big time blogger" thing. Thanks Kaelah.

  96. .. once .. few months ago.. I wrote an e-mail to a 'famous' blogger with a question.. well it wasn't something like 'hi! your famous I want to be your friend' but I had a little problem, and I wanted an advice from someone who is popular and has a lot of similar problems.. well of course the girl was so famous that she didn't write back on my e-mail nor even one of my comments!! and I'm her follower for a long time.. so I know what you mean talking about That Bloggers! :)

    I'm not your follower for a long time reall,y maybe a year or less, but I don't watch your blog cuz it's famous.. let's be honest IT IS!! but you are still fresh and you put a lot of photos :) especially I love your clothing and the way you look.. it inspires me a lot.. i'm writing this because I see that a lot of famous bloggers aren't fresh and interesting anymore.. they just put post which are crappy.. really really crappy just to make more readers.. who don't really see other blogs.. and usually.. these posts are really really 'stolen' from blogs which have little trafic.. o.O

    well I'm talking about a very very famous blog.. but I wont write the name cuz probably I would be destroyed in the blog world..

    ohh I wrote so much! ;o
    well in shirt: I just wanted to say -> blog as you blogged for the whole time! your blog is awesome in every way! and you are so.. normal? yes. normal! (I hope you understand me good;p)

    P.S. oh! and thanks to the blog world I made a lot of friends too.. internet friend which I wont ever meet cuz I leave too far away.. but I love the feeling.. that we aren't friend just cuz we want to have more visiters.. :)


  97. Very interesting post! I'm nowhere near the level where I think that anyone would gain by buttering me up or try get the attention of me or my followers. I guess at this level I have more experience of the people who click into one page and then tell me that they'll follow me if I follow back. I find the big, huge, popular blogs so BORING! I like a sweet blogger with personality and style, not some highly polished PR machine.
    Anywho I never leave my blog address in comment cos even that feels a little spammy, but if you would like to check it out I would be thrilled!


    PS: please don't stop blogging, you really do inspire me :)

  98. i've got to say, i'm really loving your honest to blog features lately. also, i love that you called it a circle jerk... lol! :P

    i try to leave comments that are heartfelt... but like you, i might be at a loss of what to say. or just overwhelmed by the sheer amount of posts in my google reader that i'm trying to get through in 20 minutes... even if i really love the blog/ post!

    the internet is overwhelming. sometimes i can only manage "i love that skirt, it's so cute!!" -and i mean it!! i understand and appreciate even short comments like these on my own blog.

    it's the spam i can't get behind. when i see "cute outfit!" immediately followed by 10 lines of "...follow me on xxx/ twitter/ enter my giveaway/ i followed you, so follow me back..." etc. i delete those :(

  99. absolutely adore your honesty and how you manage to offend no one while doing so!


  100. I really love this post. Any blog I read is because I find the person behind the blog interesting or inspiring in some way. I know it may sound silly but I like being witness to other peoples journeys. There are so many different lives, perspectives, and what not.

    I know there are people out there who are mainly focused in ladder climbing or what have you and I do usually try to see the good intentions behind it but I do know exactly what you mean. I would hope that the main goal behind every blogger would be a genuine want to connect, understand, relate, and experience with their readers and other bloggers but I know in life not everyone is like that. I try my best to avoid phony people, overly ambitious people (not that there is anything wrong with ambition), or people who seem to just use people for their own agenda.

    Honestly my favorite posts are posts like this where someone expresses their full and true opinion on something.

    I erased and started this comment over and over and I still feel like I didn't get my words out right but I just wanted to say I love your blog and I hope you continue to blog, I love what you have to say, and I hope you continue to blog for a long time to come.


  101. I have always hated how the interactions that come about from the internet can be so hard to gauge, when if you were actually hanging out with the person in real life it might be easier to figure out what their true intentions are.

    It really sucks because I love the idea of having a blog and being able to meet like minded people and maybe become friends with them in real life. Living in a super small town that I am not originally from makes it hard for me to find those like minded people. My closet friend lives 4 hours away from me, so I really wish people who I meet on blogs weren't just trying to add me to their list of subscribers (not to say that all of them do, but there sure are quite a few that seem to do this type of thing).

    Oh well what can you really do besides be wary of everyone, kind of sad.

    Also since you asked for everyones blog link thought I would throw mine into the mix too.
    Little Lady Little City

  102. I always really enjoy these posts; it's so refreshing to see a blogger being open about the things most try to avoid mentioning. I'm in the same boat with you on making sure the people I spend my time with are extra special, but this was a great reminder to do the same with the blogs I read. I really appreciate how you fully realize and are grateful for all the readers you have, since saying "screw it to strategy" is certainly easy if you've already got some readers- I often find myself wondering if I should work on this strategy stuff. Tweeting to someone & then seeing them tweet a million other times w/out replying def gets to me too, & I've stopped following many bigger bloggers for these reasons. To me, just the fact that you write posts like this and share your life with us means you're making an effort to connect wit your readers. Sure it's easier to just post a few cute outfit pictures, but I mean, how are they connecting or trying to make any positive impact? Def makes me question motives. Like blog "reading lists" that only list the blogs everyone already knows, or big bloggers interviewing other big bloggers- how about highlighting a tiny blogger who's awesome but just hasn't gotten as much recognition yet, to help that person instead of just helping themselves. But anyway, I've sort of started my own rant here so I'll stop now. Seriously thank you for bringing up these topics! And thank you for asking us to leave our links, that really is kind of you & helpful to me as a blogger as well- I always thought it was frowned upon as well (like the annoying "enter my giveaway comments") & never did, but w/ a non blogspot blog I'd certainly be much handier for people. Keep up the awesome work girl & enjoy your Halloween!


  103. Aw, I love this post! =]

    Honestly, I was about to stop following you a few months ago (I've been reading for about a year now and comment fairly often), but then I watched a couple of your vlogs. I realized that you are just a cool, normal person just like anyone else. The success of your blog should never be a negative thing, although I agree that tons of bloggers are in it for the wrong reasons. I would love for you to visit my little space. =]


  104. I read 80% of your posts but I rarely comment. It's not that I have nothing to say or either that I think you won't write back. Actually, you have commented back a couple of times and I think that's cool. I never leave my blog url because I don't write in English. I read you because I find it funny that I relate to you in how you perceive the world and yourself but I don't think we have anything else in common besides that. I actually feel some sort of guilt when I read blogs that show off too much of the perfect life all girls are having, because I know that's not their real life... So I like it that you keep it always true with your words, and put everyone down to earth with a "don't get confused". I find you ahead of most of girls that blog outfits and things they love, because you take time to look at your inner self and let everyone participate of that observation.
    Best regards,

  105. yes, Yes, YES! This is a brilliantly written piece!

    I've been blogging since 2006 - always a small blog. Until earlier this year, in the beauty blog niche. I was inspired by your blog and others to close up shop there and escape the overwhelmingly depressing ugliness in the beauty blog world. I blogged before most of them and watched some claw their way up then step on others to get even higher. Sad.

    I had to broaden my horizons, get some air. And I culled my Google Reader to pull out all of those people. I dropped them off of Twitter. I "unfriended" many (not that they noticed). And I felt so much freer!

    Now, when I see it - that circle jerk behavior (genius description!) - I do the same, no matter which genre or niche. Stinky perfume friend? Gone. Nasty decor blogger? See ya? Fashionably unfriendly? Adios, amiga.

    Kudos to you for talking about this, for being better than that. You are truly special.

  106. I've been berated for what people think is me being condescending or judgmental about others, but my pet peeves are bloggers who don't engage with their readers and comment-leavers who clearly came only to promote themselves. If I had a glass to raise and shout, "hear, hear!" I absolutely would. I have a feeling I will be linking to this when I get around to posting today...

  107. This is a great post. Sometimes I feel completely demotivated to keep blogging, thinking I have nothing left to add to the blogging world but I enjoy sharing a little slice of my life and have made a handful of wonderful friends from blogging which inspires me to keep going.

  108. Gosh, I never realized blogging could end up sounding like a bad episode of reality television. I just follow the blogs of those people I like and hope that others do the same. People put way too much thought into silly things like this and I'm sorry you were feeling so badly you almost quit blogging! i enjoy your blog and appreciate your posts.

  109. I really appreciate this. I'm fairly new to the whole blogging world and I honestly find I often like the blogs of people who don't have thousands and thousands of followers because they seem more real. I follow blogs because I love seeing what inspires other people and being inspired myself, and I blog because it's a kind of digital scrapbook for me and a way to share myself. But sometimes it does frighten me how fake and catty it can sometimes be, like when I hear about bloggers who are genuinely hurt by mean comments.

    So, anyway, thank you. :)

    ♥ LW

  110. I love reading your blog. You keep it real and that's why I always come back.

  111. Love this: it's come at exactly the right time for me as I've recently been re-evaluating my own little part of the blogosphere. As an aspiring author, I want to use my blog to practise really; to try a number of writing formats (reviews, open letters, features) and see if people read or enjoy them. It can be disheartening when you get caught up in the "follower" number game or when people you admire seem to ignore you (though I know many are super busy!). After reading your post I feel inspired to keep going and just be myself. Even if no one reads my thoughts, they are out there and I'm learning.
    PS (Love the Honeybean dream coming into fruition... alas, I can't visit, I'm all the way over in New Zealand) xo


  112. I love reading your blog but I never comment, sorry! Anyway this was a refreshing read yet it left me feeling sad about the truth behind the blogging World. I can count the people that read my blog on my hand, he he, so I can safely say, I do it for the love of blogging!

    Keep up the rad blog anyway!

  113. Thank you so much for this post! I have been subject to feeling this way. Instead I spend my time reading blogs that will motivate me. I'm not always the best at getting back to people in a timely matter, but I do try! Thank you for your honesty. We need more of that!
    I'm not even going to leave a link. I just wanted you to know!

  114. as a reader, a lot of the times it seems like a lot of bloggers do it for the free stuff they get or the "omg you're beautiful" comments (yeah... not approving comments b/c you disagree with them is childish).

    but i have to say you could've used less words this time. you don;t always have to explain everything. kinda sounded like you're defanding yourself and you shouldn't - your blog, your opinions, your rules. if anyone takes it personally or doesn't like it that's THEIR problem.

  115. It's so nice to see my own thoughts shared by someone I admire. I can't tell you how many times I've left well thought out, helpful, or inquisitive comments on several popular blogs only to have them ignored or overlooked. Recognition isn't the goal, but it's nice to know that you're at least heard. Why blog if you don't acknowledge or appreciate your readers? What's the point? Thanks for sharing. You are an inspiration. :)

    My blog isn't craft/vintage/fashion-related at all; it's actually a natural health and beauty blog...but I'll leave a link in case you wanna check it out!


  116. I love this post. I have a fairly crappy blog (lol) and in the last week or two I've barely posted anything because I've been feeling the same way. I was kinda thinking of deleting it altogether, since I have a LOT less to walk away from than you do. There is one particular blog I read where every single item in her outfits posts is always "c/o" some company and it really gets on my nerves.

  117. I love your blog! I had been following you through a bookmark on my browser for a long time and just a few months ago I got a blogger and decided to follow officially! I really like honest you are and I've also come to notice how fake other blogs can be. I'm working out the quirks on my blog, when its done and ready I will leave a link! Ttyl!

  118. i am absolutely loving your honest to blog posts. :) a while back i left you a link to a post i had written about why your server hates you, and i was so surprised that you commented on it. i guess we 'smaller' bloggers get used to getting the shaft from bigger blogs.

    and i totally agree with what you're saying about chatting it up with their online bffs on twitter. i can't tell you how many times i've asked a blogger a question (that i thought was important) and was completely brushed off, only to see them talking nonstop on twitter.

    thanks for standing up for us little guys! :-D i'm loving getting to know another part of you!

  119. I am so glad you didn't stop blogging! I adore having you in my life and think of you as a friend! I know someday we shall meet up, maybe next years Renegade in Chicago! I suppose I'm lucky, I really haven't had any bad blogging experiences yet. All the people that stop by mine are genuine and sweet people, everyone I've met in real life are 110% what they are like on their blog. :) I haven't been at it as long as you, so I shall take your cautions to heart. Love ya babe...glad your still bloggin! Hearts, Janna Lynn

  120. I love your blog! I'm so glad that you are sincere! this blog is so refreshing. : ) XO


  121. This post speaks volumes because I used to run a blog that had quite a following and pretty soon blogging became more work than an outlet for fun and creativity and wasn't fun for me anymore so I closed up shop. I have finally returned to blogging and I'm doing it for myself more than anything.


  122. Hello! I've visited here a couple of times, but came through to this post via velvetbird on twitter. Thank you for sounding so genuine and honest. I have a small blog with a small group of followers that comment regularly and i adore their thoughtful words and i in turn REALLY enjoy their blogs too. I'd rather remain true to myself than be involved in some crazy blog race. My blog is just a small peice of quiet for me to visit when I wanna share or chat some.

  123. I feel like I have been having this ongoing conversation with several of my blogger friends! I want to just put all of you on speakerphone because I think we're all on the same page....

    Blogging is weird sometimes. You find someone who you have similar interests as, and you feel like "wow, I want to make a connection with this person" because we all want friends and people who we can talk to about shared interests. But sometimes, just like real life, that person is less interested in the fact that you have a shared interest and more into the fact that you "follow" them. Or its just a business. That shit drives me crazy. Like sometimes I want to say "I have had a conversation with you, we have talked, please don't pretend you don't know who I am the next time I email you. You are not a celebrity. You are a human being."

    I personally hate saying "followers" too, I like to say readers. I read blogs, I don't always comment, but I read as much as I can because I love taking a peek into other peoples lives. It's incredible and I feel so amazed that people want to read about my life too. and make a connection. I seriously have met some of my best friends through blogging.

    I can admit, I tried recently to redo the layout of my blog, and it didn't look like me at all! Even Doug said it. I was trying to fit into this mold. That thankfully only lasted a few weeks and now I feel like I have it back to me.

    Kaelah, I am so happy to call you a friend. Thank you for being honest and beautiful and kind.

  124. Amen to this post. This is why I haven't done sponsership. Sure I would love to get the word out about other awesome bloggers and spread my blog but at the same time, I don't wanna feel like I have to blog and I know that by having sponsers, you kinda need too... Glad you stayed here!

  125. This is perhaps my most favourite of your Honest To Blog posts so far - everything you say is so true & really strikes a chord!

    I love that you always make an effort to connect with your readers whereas other bloggers only seem to care about follower numbers or speaking to 'big-name' bloggers.

    Great post!



  126. I love this. And it's something that I've really noticed, too. It's refreshing to know that bloggers like you (and by that I mean ones with a lot of traffic/followers) recognize it.

    I know that there are people who spam, but there are genuine "fans" too, people who look up to these bloggers and really enjoy being a part of their virtual-lives.

    This may be a silly example, but I was actually following someone on Instagram and I started to notice that he/she never replied to anyone who complimented on the photos. But if someone asked for a "follow back" he/she was quick to call that person out in a nasty way. Seeing that made me instantly turned off. I unfollowed, and quit reading that person's blog entirely.

    It also made me realize that I don't ever want to be like that. I may not have very many followers, relatively speaking, but I'm still thankful for those few people who actually take time out of their day to read my blog.

    I really appreciate that you interact with your readers. Honestly, I never expect you to tweet back or comment on my blog (both you've done!) because, like you said, usually with the "top bloggers" it just doesn't happen. But since you actually do, it makes me want to come back and keep reading/following and share your blog with friends.

    In fact, you're one of my favorites because of this. :)

  127. I love this post.
    I mainly blog to write.

    But I believe everything you said in this to be true. :]


  128. I going to add to the 128 comments you already have, because I am literally amening to you! That is one of the BEST posts I have ever read on any blog!
    I hate how blogs have become such a popularity contest, and people only do it for the followers. Where is the fun in that? I just don't understand it!At the end of the day, if someone wants to read your blog they will! If they don't they don't.
    I completely agree with trying to talk to bigger bloggers, I hate that I get ignored... because I am a person too? And just because I don't have 60000+ followers, doesn't mean I'm not good enough. Surely they remember that they started from somewhere to with no followers?!
    I head to the smaller blogs, and I always comment on people's posts and not just with a 'nice', you know.. I try to get involved, talk about what I've just read, because I for one, know that when I receive a post with someone discussing what I wrote.. I know they're genuine, and have actually read it. And to me THAT is a blogging friend.
    Wow sorry for the rambling myself, your post has totally inspired me!
    If ever you wish to view my blog.. www.caughtupincake.blogspot.com

  129. I really like this post well done, its written really well too, all your thoughts are put across properly. I've seen how cliquey the blogger world can be (even in real life at blogger events and stuff!) Its such a shame, a bit of attention from people really goes to some girls heads :/ I also hate it when someone tries to give some constructive criticism or questions the actions of a bigger blogger on twitter etc and they just get a barrage of abuse for it. We need to remember these girls are normal people, don't put them on a pedestool! x x x

  130. I really appreciate how honest you are. Thank you for this post series. I agree with everything you said. I wish more people would be original and real... so many blogs are all the same.
    Thanks again, Kaelah.

  131. Hey Lady!
    I really love reading these honest posts. So many of us out here feel these things but rarely is it talked about in such an open way.

    I completely feel where you are coming from. I have stepped back in a lot of ways from my blog. I love it to death but after being stressed to the max since Rowan was born I need to reevaluate what I was doing. I was constantly searching for where i was supposed to fit in. Was I a fashion blogger? Was I a mom blogger? I was trying to hang on to both. But I am way too shy to keep fighting to hold a spot where I thought I wanted to be. I am not good at being fake, at networking, or chatting people up to get ahead. I started my blog because I just liked doing it. I never thought it would become what it has. That was never, ever the intention. So I don't know why all the sudden I was so concerned with it. I have started just being thankful for what it has become, my lovely readers, and for the fact that I have met so many wonderful people. It is much more fun when you take the pressure off. It is very much like high school in a lot of ways if you let it get to you that way. It is something I am working on but I am much happier when I let it all go.

    I read Danielle's comment and I too struggle with the idea of sponsorships. Sometimes I think it would be so fun and freeing to not take sponsors but I wont lie and it is nice to get paid a little for so much hard work. hmmm?

    I am not really sure where I am going with this whole comment just wanted to say thank you for always being such a sweet and real blogger. It's a big world of bloggers trying to get ahead and you are a breath of fresh air!!

  132. Just found your blog and this is one of the best posts I've ever read. x


  133. i love you i love you i love you I LOVE YOU! i have so much doubt in myself when it comes to blogging. i feel so uninspired and kind of like.. "what am i doing here.. i'll never be that awesome." but whenever i roll around to your blog and read an amazing post like this, it always bumps me right back into the spirit. thank you for being YOU, kaelah. you are so different from all the carbon copy bloggers, and i love that so much. you inspire me and always have since the day i started following you.♥

    lyndsey of hellolyndsey

  134. This was an absolutely brilliant, truthful and strangely reassuring post to read.

    I notice the same things from a lot of the bloggers I follow. There is definately an "in crowd" which appear to think they are superior, (maybe they don't but that's how they come across) which can be frustrating when I srr how fooled or in awe others are of them. Even though I enjoy their blogs it does put me off.

    As you suggested I'll leave my blog url for the first time ever (I never want to seem like I'm commenting to get views) and if you get a spare minute to pop by I hope you enjoy. :)


  135. A relief to read. I don't even know if it will properly sink in until the millionth time I hear/read it - but really nice to see.

  136. I love your honesty in this post. There have been so many blogs I've stopped following because I got the feeling from the authors that they were doing me a favor by having their blog online. I'm actually now waaaay more likely to follow a blog with ten readers than I am a blog with 1500 readers.

    Thanks for you honesty! There's just not enough of that nowadays!

    Allison from http://girlcatfall.blogspot.com/

  137. I'm so glad when you share these "honest to blog" posts. I'm happy to know a more well-known blogger is out there connecting with their readers rather than dismissing them. It's easy to get caught up in all of the blogging popularity and just feeling like you don't fit in anywhere I think, but it's nice when we can make connections with people and actually call them friends. It's the one thing that makes me want to keep blogging. :)


    Sarbear's Journey

  138. I love your honesty. I can't remember how I came across your blog, but its definitely one I check every single day as I love your photos and stories and your passion. Keep it going, please.


  139. Inspired me to start up my little blog again:) been too scared of it for too long..need to realise its for me not for people to judge x

  140. I love that you have made so many close friends from your blog. I'm glad you didn't give up blogging! I love reading your blog and following what you and Mike are up to. You have always been so sweet and nice to me whenever I have contacted you about anything. Thanks for being so awesome <3

  141. Wow girlie, your honesty is very refreshing.
    One of the reasons I love your blog is although you have a huge following, your blog feels personable, and 'homey' and genuine.
    Thanks for that :)


  142. I love you honesty. And really completely agree. I blog because I love to write and get my thoughts out. When I started I really knew nothing about this whole world, but now I have been able to share passions with other bloggers and meet some wonderful people. I think once I lose the art of blogging and letting it be something that serves me, the joy would be robbed. Who knows if my little corner of the blog world will ever take off, but that is not the point and nor should it be - so thank you for being an inspiration.
    Much love,


  143. Everything you said is so very true. I've had my fair share of ignores & dismisses on twitter/comments with questions/facebook. It's never a good thing because if I was standing in front of a person face to face, would you just ignore me too? It sucks that a lot of people have an agenda.

    It's really nice to blog for myself and my close friends and anyone else I meet along the way!

    Visit my blog if you get the chance:

  144. Great post! I definitely understand where you are coming from.

    I participate in some blogs that offer Follower Fests and stuff like that but that is mainly for me to find more blogs that I really enjoy reading. If I gain some followers in the process that is great too because I love reading comments and feeling like I have made some friends with visitors who comment often.

    I don't normally post my link when I comment, but since you said to I will this time. :)


    And I definitely follow and read your blog because you do inspire me and I love reading your posts and looking at your pictures.

  145. Kaelah, I'm so glad you didn't stop blogging. I mean, look at all of these comments! You are touching a lot of people, and that is so special.

    I'm also very shy and I've met some of my (now) real-life best friends through the internet. I'm so thankful for them and their support system. It almost feels surreal sometimes! Seriously, if you would have told me 5 years ago that I would be blogging and making friends through the internet I may have laughed in your face.

    I'm pretty sure I could talk for hours on this subject, but at the end this is what it would come down to: I feel like as long as you are doing something you can be proud of, it doesn't matter what is going on around you (and that is a general "you"). Feel good about what you are putting out there in the world and treat people with kindness. Sometimes even when we feel we are doing everything we can, our actions will still be misinterpreted, but that doesn't mean we have underlying ulterior motives. There is no way to always please everyone, so as long as we are being honest and doing what we love then that's what counts. :) Like I said before, I love your blog and though I SHOULD comment more, I really felt like I should stop in and commit to a comment tonight. <3

  146. I have really enjoyed your interesting post. Great Job !!!

    Wedding Themes

  147. You are seriously such a breath of fresh air.

    Please continue to enlighten and expand my point of view and perspective!

    Such a gem, Kaelah, such a gem. x

  148. I love these posts :) I honestly enjoy the blogs that seem sincere, where the blogger shares bits of their life with you and seem approachable. It's kinda like reading an email a friend sent you, like I do with my close friends who live far away now. I did a series on my blog with a different blogger in cities around New Zealand and I would consider those girls friends now I've got to know them better! :)

    Stay true to yourself, be happy with what you post that's the main thing, and I'll keep reading!! :)



  149. I have to confess that I sometimes see a long body of writing in a blog and sort of scan over it without paying full attention... But I read every word of this post. Thank you for the refreshing and un-sugarcoated honesty. My blog is still very young and finding its feet, so these things are very helpful to hear from someone so inspiring. Making friends is the best part of blogging and luckily I have only experienced friendliness so far. But now I feel that when the inevitable not so lovely feelings are exchanged then I wont be as shocked or hurt as I would have been had I not read this! So thanks for that :) hope you've had a lovely weekend.



  150. You know, your Honest To Blog posts are the ones I save until I'm in the right mood because I like them so much. This one bums me out though. A lot. I really didn't want to hear that conformation of what I kind of suspected going into blogging. I've had to play that game in real life before and I have to say, I'm really good at it, climbing that ladder I mean. But the thing is, it sucks at the top. All the fun is gone because once you get high enough you can see all the crap that goes on. Total disillusionment. Its way more fun when you think youve got a goal to achieve. Or maybe even more fun if you never played at all.What if I don't care about sponsorship or getting followers? They can come if they want but what if i dont need them to validate my blog or my life? Think it will be alright then? Because I've opted out of all the circles in my life where people have only wanted to be friends with me to be cool or get free stuff, it's shit and I don't want the Internet to turn into that for me. I like your blog, I think you're interesting and I think if I knew you better I'd want to be your friend. Hope you don't mind of I don't want to jerk you off, I think that's kind of gross and fairly impossible. Not to mention boring.
    I also thought all the comments on this post were just as good as the post itself to read.

  151. I Love you and your blog exactly because of your refreshing honesty. I had a huge comment post written here a second ago...but it would be a bit overwhelming for this small space ^^

    let me just say this: I contacted a bunch of bloggers for information about several small things. You where the only one that ever answered (and extremely fast, as that). For that alone you will always be one of my favorites. You treat everybody with respect, you are honest and you don't try to pull anybody in to a imaginary wonderful blog puff cloud where everything is always peachy. That is why I Love your blog.

    Everybody has problems to act as they preach once in a while. But I have the feeling you are one of the only ones who at least thinks about that and tries to change it...and I love people that reflect their actions and habits :) I believe it is one of the most important things in life to do.

    Your blog inspires me to work hard for my dream and to take nothing for granted. And that's awsome.

    Love this post. I agree with everything you have said 110%



  152. I completely agree with you! I am a new-ish blogger and I very rarely leave my URL in blog comments. I feel like by doing that I am screaming read my blog. Yes it is nice when I get a new subscriber but I don't want it to be because I put my URL on someone else's blog. I want people to find me because what I post is something they are interested in. I have seen people who do only crafts or only food on their blog post their URL on fashion bloggers comments, that urks me! They blog on different topics and the readers may not care about that. Eh o well I like my 3 readers, and I will stay that way and write to them like I am writing to each one individually, if I get more YAY but I will still write & post the same way.

  153. I love this post! I just started a blog myself and sometimes I feel a little down that I do not have many followers but then I remind myself I am doing this because I think it is fun and if people want to join in, so be it! It is more important to have fun and be you, than worrying about being popular.

  154. I love this post so much, as a fledgling blogger, its exactly what I needed to hear.

    Honestly, I started reading your blog because your outfits are so cute and the photography is amazing (my compliments to Mike!) I've stayed a follower because of how remarkably honest you are and how willing you are to share your dreams with us your readers. I love being able to support you through your etsy shop and hearing about the Honeybean's maiden voyage. I'm inspired by your goals and how hard you work to achieve them.

    I think another commenter said it best: you do everything with complete honest and integrity and in your own voice. Thanks for being so willing to share with us!


  155. A lot of time I won't comment on blog posts that I've read and enjoyed and agreed with, especially on bigger blogs. (I almost did that with this post!) I don't want to come across as insincere and fishing for followers.

    I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this post and how honest you are. I know that's something that can be really hard, especially when people might think that you're pointing fingers at them.

    You inspire me, Kaelah.

  156. Kaelah, thank you so much for posting this! I have really loved your honest to blog series. I always look forward to reading and seeing your perspective on relevant issues. :) You are great at getting your message across in a non threatening, helpful and applicable way.

    I wish you the very best!

  157. Woah, this post is great. I have thought so many of the same things. When I've actually supported financially some of the blogs I read and comment or tweet to say what an awesome product they have I hear crickets. Sorry I'm not your BFF and I'm not trying to be, just show a little kindness!!

  158. I love this post, there are a couple blogs that I still read for 'inspiration' but have basically stopped commenting on. I don't expect a response for EVERY comment or tweet I send out, but a small recognition always makes me feel better. I know people are super busy, I don't feel like I'm asking for a lot though.
    I'm still pretty new to the blog world, I only have about 30 followers, but I know who ALL of them are, and almost all of them are in my blog reader. I'm definitely in this blogging buisness more for the friendships than the fame.

  159. Thank you! This really blessed me today. It's nice to know there are genuine bloggers who don't look at the hobby as a popularity contest or just a way to earn cash. I feel like I slowly see my favorite blogs turn from interesting posts about their life, crafts they love and things from the heart to constant giveaways, guest blog posts, advertisements for some trendy clothing, etc. etc. etc…. You're a breath of fresh air! Thanks :)


  160. aha, i'm so glad you posted this. i've noticed this a lot in the blogging communities - each niche has it's own circle of ~cool kids~ and they all seem to feed off each other & kind of ignore the rest. which is kind of annoying, but i can overlook it... except when i see someone (or myself!) try to say something helpful or kind or ask a question or whatever, and the comment just falls flat & gets ignored. i get my feelings hurt a LOT on other people's behalf lol.

    anyway, props to you for being brutally honest!

  161. This is the honest truth right here, girl:
    I follow A LOT of blogs...but lately haven't had time to read them much. There are two blogs that I very regularly check...yours and City Birds Nest (because I live vicariously through her. haha).

    Why do I constantly check your blog above so many others? Posts like this..

    You do have your cute outfit posts, which are fine, but it's things like this that make me what to keep coming back. You share yourself with your readers, AND you show an interest in connection. That's all anyone really desires. Connection. It's human nature, ya know?

    Anyway, thanks for keeping it real KB :) I think you've been to my blog, but here's the link anyway

    Also, I hope I didn't come off as one of those bloggers that just wants you to link to them...but it was pretty awesome having you link to my Honey Bee post. I'm glad I got to share that will so many people!

  162. Your honesty is so refreshing, and I really appreciate this post. As a new blogger, I don't really know much about the blogosphere yet and I definitely recognize that air of strategy you spoke about. It rubs me the wrong way, but I wasn't sure if I was reading too much into it, so it makes me feel better to know I'm not alone.

    I recently had a blogger come to one of my posts, and comment with something along the lines of "Hey, I want to exchange follows, if you want to, let me know when you have followed me and I will come follow you back". I guess I was glad to have the visit, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but the comment sort of offended me and hurt my feelings. I mean, if you don't find inspiration in my blog and actually WANT to read it, I would really rather you not follow! I want my readers to love what I post, not just hang around because it might gain a follower, you know?

    I really appreciate that you stay in touch with your readers and you are so sweet and down to earth. I've tried to communicate and form friendships with some other "big bloggers" and was pretty much ignored- it was a little frustrating as a newbie who just needed some heartfelt advice.

    Also, is it totally lame that I am filled with glee at the prospect that you may have visited my blog once upon a time? I would be so totally honored to have you there whenever! :3


  163. Girl I love you so much. I agree. Blogging turns stupid when you're just trying to emulate others/connect with others/make certain posts JUST to gain readers. I blog because I love to see what people around the world are doing and because it gives me a focus and agenda and excuse to love every single day a little more. Youre the best, and your success comes from that :DD


    ha idk if i ever have included a link to my blog, i go back and forth about signatures for this same reason. anyway ugly plants

  164. I love that you're unabashedly opinionated, and that every few sentences I would find myself saying "yeaahhh - she's right!"

    Most people are only looking out for number one, and it's great that you're confident enough to be aware of that.

    I love reading your blog because you're honest, unique, and creative.

    CONSIDER ME A FAN (with no strings attached)!


  165. This is a great post. To me blogs are fun and something you can add to at your own leisure. I would love to meet some people I have talked to via twitter/blogger, as many are like-minded. I swap mail art with some of them and it is such a blast. You may want to check out my blog and if your interested in swapping mail I would love to do that. Its like having a penpal. http://annarack.blogspot.com/

  166. well said. i just found your blog recently. i love how you are free to be exactly who you are, and that you love color! :)


    that's my blog. it's not fancy, but i am proud of it.


  167. This is such an honest post! And I completely agree with you. I'm quite shy in real life and I think it's hard to make friends. Because of this I want to make more friends online because that seems easier. And I have to say I have met some amazing friends online. That's why I wanted to blog. But I think it's so sad to read that many people are being used or get involved by bitchfights on blogs. *sigh* Luckily I'm quite picky which blogs I want to follow. I only want to follow people who inspire me or who seems to be nice to their followers. I don't have many followers but I'm thankfull for all of them. :)

    And I'm following you because you inspire me with your tattoos and outfits and you seem to be such a sweet person.

    Much love, Daphne

  168. There have been many times when I've felt used or just had that nagging feeling that something wasn't right with a person. I tend to trust too easily and end up getting screwed. You'd think I'd learn a bit by now, but I always believe the best in people (even if they don't have it). I've even embarrassingly fallen into the catty girl drama (but have also confessed and apologized directly to the person and thankfully they were much sweeter than i thought).

    I think most bloggers are like you- shy, quiet and keep a close knit group so when we love, we love with all of our hearts but it's hard to determine how much love to give through a keyboard. Throughout this whole post i found myself nodding my head in agreement. High fives all around!

    I'm rarely blogging these days, but I rarely comment back or comment much at all, especially if i'm just going to echo what everyone is else saying. I'm just an observer these days.

  169. I really love this series... it's so good to see that you're so realistic.

    I like to read your blog because I love your outfits and you seem like such a genuinely nice girl.

    My blog is kathastrophal. ♥

  170. I wrote a post that was largely about this same topic a few months ago. I'm tired of trying to be in the blogging "in" crowd, trying to get "cool" bloggers to consider me one of them. It's tiring, it's too much like high school, it's beneath me. I blog to write, not to be prom queen.

    Thanks for the honesty.


  171. hey kaelah,

    i was hesitant in writing on this post as i didn't want you to have to trawl through more comments, haha, but i really want to say something because i totally agree where you are coming from.

    my blog is by all means not "blog famous" but i have a 150 odd followers, and i really love that so many of them are so sweet to me.

    i blog because i love taking photos and sharing my life with my family, but then it became apparent that i gained beautiful friends from it too, and that is awesome.

    quite a few times, i have felt upset and angry over other bloggers who almost seem like they are the 'high school bitches' masked by cute and sweet, with undertones of horrible... and i hate that.

    i am 30 years old, i got away from that shit years ago, and dont want competition. i just want my circle and new people to join it if they are lovely and are on my wavelength too.

    having not many REAL life friends, blogging has given me new friends from all over... and i'm still struggling with the whole competition crap, and still read even blogs that i just shouldnt.. because they upset me from their fakeness.

    so anyway, im ranting about random stuff now, but do come visit me if you want. if you dont want to, thats cool too :D

    i just wanted to let you know, you do inspire me and you are so real, and i love that about you.

    p.s. you make a cute as hell dorothy hehe



  172. somedays i cant get around to reading or blogs or blogging myself, but i always catch up! your blog has always been true to yourself, and i love seeing your outfits. you look great in everything you post :) i have a blog, i dont have many followers but i do it because i like it. http://pendingroot.blogspot.com

  173. It's so clear from the number of comments that this post really resonates with people. I used to think that anyone with a "big" blog just didn't respond to comments - that comments were something you just put out into the ether without expecting a reply.

    But then - I started to comment on a variety of blogs (not just the popular girls) and I realized it was not just the popularity of the blog - it was the blogger. I've had lovely email conversations with bloggers who get hundreds of comments on a post - simply because they are the type to write someone back!

    So I must say - I recently tweeted you about your ukulele endeavors, and I was so tickled that you tweeted back! I don't think I've ever left a comment on your blog before, and I'd never tweeted you. So thanks. It's people like you that keep me bloggin'!

    And my blog is here: http://katiesredumbrella.blogspot.com/

  174. Amen sista! I couldn't agree more!

  175. This is such a powerful post. You're really saying a lot of what is already on my mind. I never leave a link to people's blogs but here is mine :)
    Of Stranger Sensibilities

  176. It's easy to get caught up in the "numbers-game". Important thing is to recognize when it's not really working for you. At one point I erased all my accounts and started anew. Without the drama and sky high expectations, just me and stuff that makes me happy.

  177. Kaylah, I really like this post and your blog in general. You are one of the people that really inspire me 'blogwise', it seems like you are always so real and honest, and I think that is really important. Also, I think you are a very creative person with a great style.

    My blog is a year old, but I still feel kind of new in the blog world. I get where you are talking about, but haven't experienced this for myself yet. Or maybe I'm just a bit naive :).

    Keep up the great work!
    love, Floor


  178. high five!

    i started blogging because i loved writing and sharing. but it's so easy to feel down when you don't have many followers or those followers don't leave comments. my husband hears me get discouraged, but he tells me to keep blogging because he knows i love it.

    i follow you on instagram and love that you respond if i comment, and you even comment on my photos...that makes my day! not because i think i'm going to gain anything from it, but because it's a small connection we've made.

    this post definitely resonated with a lot of us. so thanks :)


  179. Fellow Nashvillian here... Love your blog and your honest posts. And the dog pictures, of course!


    (Foofooshnickens on IG)

  180. Miss Kaylah-bee, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your blog, especially these 'honest to blogs.' Yours was one of the first blogs I started reading, and has become such an inspiration to me as I've begun blogging myself. I've been so drawn to the relationships and friendships that you can develop through blogging, especially when you don't fit into the everyday mold. It's wonderful to find a community of like-minded people to share with. I'm really so glad that you have maintained such an honest and positive presence in the blogging world, keep it up!


  181. oh my, this post is EXACTLY what I needed to here, I have a tiny blog for my handmade business and I don't care if I am just typing for myself or if someone else reads it. I am so glad I came across your blog and I have been on it for 2 hours now haha.

    I love this and it seriously made my day! Thank you so much!

    Brittini Flowers

    i love your hair, dogs, lil bean, tattoos and those big ol gauges :)

  182. I have to say you pretty much summed up how I feel about a lot of bloggers. There are so many things about blogging that drives me nuts. You said it better than I could. I want to blog and have people read my blog, but I don't want to use other peoples blogs to climb the ladder. Or have a blog with nothing but giveaways. I just want to write about something people want to read and have them enjoy it. I have to say that I do feel at times that blogging is a popularity contest with so many ways to see how many people follow your blog. I guess my feelings are who cares how many people follow you if you have 5, 10, 200 that are loyal and know you well. Oh well I supposed that is part of blogging and being in this world we are in. Either way thanks for being honest with your readers about you and how you feel. It is very refreshing.

  183. Honest to Blog is a great little feature, I love reading them! I'm a little too scared to comment on many blogs, in fear that people might think I'm doing it solely for more views or followers, and honestly, it's made me dislike blogging.

    I wonder if you'd allow some of your followers the pleasure of adapting 'honest to blog' on their sites?

  184. I know I'm late to read this post but SPEAK IT, GIRL. I really can't even begin to tell you how much this speaks to me as I feel like we maybe we're just soul sisters in hiding on the same brain wave. I can't tell you how discouraged I've felt about blogging lately. Something I've recently learned is just how awful bloggers can be in emails--the attitude is unreal. Especially considering what I'm emailing them about. I want to personally thank you for posting this because I think it's a HUGELY important issue that needs to be brought up in the blogging world. Thank you thank you for bringing it up and encouraging us all to strive for community rather than competition. You are amazing.

  185. Let me just start with, I am glad that you didn't just walk away from this blog. I absolutely LOVE your blog, I read it a lot.

    You are such a joy to follow. You're an inspiration, and a motivation for me. I love reading abbout your Honest to Blog posts, or your adorable outfit posts (you really are too cute). I love hearing about Honeybean and I am really hoping that you become really successful in it. You are such a wonderful person to read about, because you're honest, down to earth, and I feel that I could learn a lot from you.

    I'm sure that there are a lot of catty girls out in the blog world, and so far I haven't found any yet.... and I hope that I don't. I really do love your blog and i hope that you keep it!

    And I follow you on Twitter too!

    <3 Jenn

  186. I have to say, I'm really loving these honest blog posts. I think it's important to stay true to yourself and blog because it makes you happy. It's always interesting to me to see how bloggers can change over time; sometimes it's just a natural progression, and other times you can tell it's a direct result of having a increase in their following.

    And, since you asked, http://nobody-too.blogspot.com

  187. i am so in love with your honest to blog posts...they are exactly that, pure honesty and i commend you very being able to write them. i feel like everytime you write one about this subject (or a subject close to it) you're saying exactly what i've wanted to say but you're just able to formulate the words better than i! so thank you :) i've had a post in my 'drafts' about this subject for so long and i always feel like i'm saying something wrong, or something i shouldn't so i never posted it. i'm going to share this with my readers though, so thank you! i definitely think that you are in the category of a 'big time blogger' but never have i ever felt the air of snobbiness from you because of that. you seem like a real, down to earth girl with a huge heart and someone i could hang with and have a good time! thanks for being you miss kaelah!


  188. Kaelah Kaelah.
    Honest to blog that was something I really appreciated reading.
    Like I kind of want to print it and put it in my blogger book for reference.
    I struggled with starting my current blog because I'm a missionary right now and I have a very specific purpose with all of my time. Plus I only have 45 min online each day.
    I worry sometimes that what I am writing is going to seem all "Jesus-Freak" to people that maybe wouldn't know otherwise how devoted I am to my faith.

    Then I remember, who cares? I write it and I like what I write. And that is enough. Hopefully at least one other person out there will get a look at it and learn from what I'm sharing.

    I've loved your blog for a long while and now that I'm out here in Nashville I really do hope we can meet up some time! And we can make it a rule that not one word is said about blogs :)

    but here is mine just in case



  189. this is a great post , i feel like lately i have been making excuses for not blogging because i feel like most of my followers just follow for giveaways. i love to do giveaways just because i like to give gifts to people and thank the people who follow me and actually read my other posts . Its hard to tell in the blog world who you can and can't trust . I'm just greatful for the people who really do read my blog . I always enjoy reading your blog


  190. This seems to be a rising issue at the moment, doesn't it? Blogging used to be more about blogging than collecting people... Funny thing is, I think it's more difficult to "collect people" since people have been doing pesky things such as leaving mindless comments of "Amazing blog, follow me back" which is so obvious that it is embarrassing.

    This is a thought-evoking post... but saddening as well :(

    (might as well)
    Aya ♥ Strawberry Koi

  191. I only enjoy reading the blogs of genuine people; people I wish I knew in real life. I read them because I want to feel inspired, motivated, and see all the cool stuff that people do around the world.
    I don't comment often, because I either find myself at a loss for words or I feel like a jerk going on exclamation mark overload because I love whatever the person blogged about so much. I have a hard time blogging about myself. I'm overly critical of myself (and probably of others too - ha!) but I refuse to blog about something just for the sake of blogging.
    Anyway, I'm totally drawn to bloggers who really try to connect with their audience and really enjoy what they do. Bonus points for not calling every thing on earth "magical" (huge pet peeve!).

  192. excellent post! you are just saying what most of us are thinking. ive met some amazing people through blogging and wouldn't take it back ever, but then on the other side there are people out there i never feel quite 'good enough' for. im learning to get over that though and just blog for myself, it really makes it a whole lot nicer :) thanks for the inspiration in this post.

  193. I'm so in love with your blog. Especially because of posts like this. Being new in the blogging world, some of this info seems a bit surreal to me. I have about 4 followers and probably 3 are my family (I hope). LOL. But I just write to do something other than the awful paralegal job I have to pay the bills. It's just fun to write about what I like. I hope I never turn into "that blogger."

    Oh, and my blog is hipsoiree.wordpress.com. :)

  194. This just confirms even more than before that you are one of my favourite bloggers. I am always inspired by the things I see and read on your blog. You are such a wonderful person to follow and I envy you for a lot of reasons! My blog for me, is where I post things that make me smile & make me happy...it's not very exciting and I don't have thousands of followers, but I do really try to focus on the people who do following me and leave comments on my blog.

    Thanks so much for this post. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. Not to mention you are my style hero!

    I'm Jules & my blog is www.thelifeofacupcake.com

  195. amazing...you're an inspiration.

    i love your honesty. keep going! im constantly looking forward to your "honest to blog" feature.


  196. Wow, I'm so glad you decided to hold onto this blog! Your posts consistently brighten my day. :) While blogs with a lot of 'courtesy of' pieces/followers/giveaways aren't necessarily contrived, I do feel more invested as a reader if the posts are personal and thoughtful. Thanks for keepin' it real.

    (PS: Sometimes I leave what looks like non-specific compliments on blogs but I really do mean it. I'm just not great with comments!)


  197. Kaelah, I love your honest to blog posts, not only because I agree with you but because I can tell that you are genuine and an awesome person! I am the same way in real life. It's hard for me to connect with people and this blog has helped me branch out a little bit and make some friends with a few bloggers that are just amazing people. I've been noticing a lot of these things lately too. I do love my readers as well, and it's a little disheartening seeing so many people just try to promote themselves and spam your comments day in and day out. At the same time it's an absolutely amazing feeling when someone leaves you a genuinely nice comment.

    I hope you are having a wonderful week so far! :)

  198. I am really enjoying the Honest To Blog series. Its a little sad that sometimes one has to temper what one says online to avoiding possibly upsetting other people - but then we have refreshing posts like this!
    I hope you enjoy it as much as your readers do.



HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB