Honest To Blog -- 23 going on 40

This week's free write is in the same vein as last week's. I mentioned last week that I often thought of myself as "23 going on 40" and that's no exaggeration. The realization can be both good and bad, and that's what I'm going to talk about today. 

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I'm a 23 year old college grad with no intention (or desire) to ever work a 9 to 5. Okay, so obviously if push came to shove and I needed to work a set 40 hour a week schedule, I would. I'll do anything I need to to make sure I fulfill my dreams, but that's not the point. My entire college experience was overrun with projects, deadlines, and paper cuts. O'More left absolutely no time to "party" or have a typical college experience. For this I am grateful. What I mean by that is... I've never been much of a "partier" and while I am not sad in the slightest to have missed that, that's not to say I wouldn't have fallen victim to it like a few of my friends did. A few dropped out, a few managed to squeak through. But O'More didn't really let you do that. It was make or break. I spent 4 years obsessing over projects and deadlines that I didn't have time to socialize. But I never felt like I was missing out.

Fast forward a year or two and I still feel the same way. I don't go out to bars because I work at one. On the rare occasion we're visiting friends out of state we'll go out, but aside from shows here and there, I still don't get out much. Not that I'm a cat lady shacked up with my mister and nothing better to do. But I prefer to work. While I have no intention of having a corporate 9 to 5 job, I easily work 80+ hours a week. Whether it's on Honeybean, bartending, or design work... I'm constantly working. I'm constantly checking and responding to emails. There's even blog stuff to do. All of these things pay my bills, and I love every single one of them (This is where I feel really really lucky). I'd rather work my fingers to the bone than to go out and do typical "college/early 20s" things. Maybe I'm just shy. Or anti-social. Or both. Either way, I enjoy working more than I do socializing. This can be a good thing (to a certain degree).

There's not a single day that goes by that I don't almost-obsess over the future. Where are we going to move? Where are we going to open our brick and mortar? What about the schools in that town? Will our kids have a good future there? How far away is it from family/friends? It's ridiculous. This is where the "not so good" part comes in. 90% of the things I think about are totally irrelevant at the time anyway! This is also where that "worry/stress" tendency I have comes into play. I've realized that over the past few years that I've been so focused on the future that I've totally missed out on a lot of the present. Rather than explore Nashville for all it has to offer, I spend an embarrassing amount of time checking PadMapper and Google Earth for acceptable neighborhoods/towns to move to. Instead of enjoying Honeybean for the amazing blessing it has been, I'm obsessively searching for the next place to set up. It can get overwhelming.

I'm always trying to find the balance of never being too satisfied/content, and never taking the present moment for granted. It's so easy to do. It's so easy to completely overlook the fact that I'm blessed with so many amazing people and opportunities when I'm always looking for something else to do.

Maybe it's a good stance to have when it comes to business, but I want to make sure my business doesn't overrun my personal life. I consider a large portion of my "personal" life to be both that and business, but finding that equilibrium can be hard/daunting. Working from home on freelance design makes it difficult to separate my home/work life (and by difficult I mean impossible). Then I go to a bar to work on the weekends where most people go to socialize (and I get to do that, too, so that line stays blurred there also). 

While I'm only 23 (and we do not plan on having children any time soon!), I constantly daydream about finally being a mom. I know that will be an absolute game changer for us and our businesses, but it's something I think about constantly. (Secret time: I totally have a little stash of baby girl dresses that I've collected over the years. Vintage and handmade. Mike rolls his eyes and tells me no each time but I can't pass them up! Another secret: This scares me into thinking karma will never let me have a girl! haha See! These are the things my brain thinks of!) I think about our future house, our yard, our mailbox (!!!) and flowerbed. I daydream about our shop and how we'll decorate. I think about how our children will (hopefully) grow up in our shop and work there and maybe one day we'll pass it on. I get so wrapped up in what's to come that I forget to stop and enjoy it now.

I'm terrified that I'm going to wake up one morning, really be 40, and feel like my early 20s were a blur. This is such an exciting time in our lives! Opening our businesses, establishing ourselves, exploring, getting married... it's so great. But I always catch myself saying "I can't wait until..." I need to learn to think in the present. 

While I think it's important to always strive for more and to never become too satisfied, I'm trying to avoid the incessant urge to say "more more more!" I want to grow as a business owner, a person, a soon-to-be-wife, daughter/in-law, etc. But I don't want my need to be "better" than I was yesterday to overshadow my relationships with people. 

So I have to ask... how do you handle the balance? Where do you find that equilibrium in your life? Are you a business owner with a personal life to manage? Give me your secrets! I need them! ;)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

My Honest-To-Blog series is a weekly feature on LCH where I free-write about personal thoughts and situations. They're completely open, honest, and never edited. What you read is how I think... and sometimes it's a real big jumbled mess! You can read the rest of the series so far by clicking HERE!

36 comments:

  1. Hi Honeybee :)

    I feel we are kindred spirits...in several ways we are living parallel lives! I too am a 23 year old, engaged to a lovely man-bear, self-employed and would take a cup of tea and a lemon muffin over wine and cheese every time.

    I can also relate to that feeling of 'what if? and when? and how? and how much??' and not really living in the moment. I've had that same worry that I'll wake up one day in my 40s and worry I didn't enjoy my 20s...my solution?

    Self-indulgently making photo albums which litter our flat with their nostalgic goodness, putting our faces and drawings of our faces all over the internet, and writing diaries to make sure my twenties are readily available to be smeared in the faces of our future children to prove that we were young and beautiful once and I kept track of it all!

    Yay for the internet! And digital photos :) We'll be ok...

    Lu Xx

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  2. Kaeleh, this is why I read your blog. Because I can absolutely relate. I'm 24, married, and settled. I didn't go to a party school; instead, I spent 4 years working my butt off. Like you, I'd rather work than go out at night. Also like you, I spend too much time worrying about the future, I stress over what our mailbox will look like (seriously!), and I forget to live in the moment. I guess the only thing that keeps me balanced is my husband, who always has to remind me to stop, breathe, and appreciate where we are in the present. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel. I love posts like this because it reminds me why I read your blog, and that there's other people out there like me.

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  3. Kaelah, honey!!! Listen to yourself! You know what you need to do, you just need to actually do it. I'm gonna be 32 this coming March and I think to myself all the time "where did my 20's go?" I didn't graduate from college until I was 26 and I was in art school just like you so I also didn't go out and party either. When I turned 26 it was like a door opened. I starting living. I moved to four different cities in the span of 5 years. I saw Europe twice. I fell in love and got my heart broken...a lot! It was amazing. And while I'm still not married or where I want to be with my business or blog, I'm happy that I took those years to just live. The memories I made in my 20s were invaluable!! You have an amazing life with an amazing guy...go live it for awhile!!! Thinking about things you don't have (and might never have for all we know) is useless if you're not enjoying what you have now.
    hope this helps!
    xoxo
    julie

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  4. WOW. Your whole pattern of thinking is EXACTLY what I go through on a daily basis!

    I've never been one to go out and socialise myself. If at all I get to see my friends about once a month. Not that I don't want to hang out but I get so caught up in personal projects that I just don't have "time" to spare when there's so much to do on my list.

    I NEED to keep myself busy. Everything I do is some sort of activity that gets my brain or hands rolling and I just can't stop.

    I'm only 20 so I'm 3 years your minor but I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we're so looking forward to the future. Our own place, our own family, our own dream careers sparking into life! I'm on the same boat with you here when it comes to thinking about where we can plant our roots.

    I can't help you much, I'm sorry but it was so good to read that someone else was having the same sort of trouble as me. Someone who is just always on the roll!

    Maybe that's just how we work. I know that when I'm stressed or anything of the sort I STILL do some sort of activity, just one that is less focused on what was stressing me before. Rest? I know nothing about rest until I need my mandatory sleep haha!

    Anyway, just relax, maybe things will slow down again for you, there's always a time when things slow down to give you some time and perspective.

    Take care dear!

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  5. I just started following your blog a few weeks ago. So I hadn't read any of these honest posts yet. I loved it how you opened your heart here. Sometimes I have the same problem of not enjoying the present and always be thinking of a better future. I try to stay focused on the present by having something to look forward to on the day or on the immediate weekend. Like for example, today I'm having a photoroll developed, or this weekend I'm going to see this-or-that exhibition. This keeps me quite grounded. Professionally I've always been a mess. I majored in English because I loved it but finished as a teacher which I don't really wanna do for the rest of my life. I also studied photography while working but realized that's my passion and I don't want it to be my job. Next year I'm starting to study Fashion Communication and I hope that's the beginning of some kind of path for me. I'm 27 and still figuring it out too. I guess it's kind of normal if you're a responsible person that you think about the future :) I find your life quite enjoyable too :)

    http://fromheretofashion.blogspot.com/

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  6. I literally agree with EVERYTHING you just wrote! Im a shift worker so im not a tyical 9-5er either and I dont think I ever could work behind a desk but I too constantly throw myself into a frenzy thinking about the future and getting secretly really stressed about it. I even plan to make plans! It drives me crazy but im slowly starting to learn to relax. Im reading more books, trying to exercise and booking in treatments all in aid of swtiching my mind off!!
    loved this post and this series :)
    Ash

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  7. I praise you for your responsibility, but urge you to make sure you're having fun, too! I'm 40, and it comes up fast. :)

    As for the little girl dresses, if you have boys then you can save the dresses even longer for your granddaughters. Then they'll be extra-extra vintage. ;)

    xoxo

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  8. oh my goodness!!

    ENJOY YOUR 20'S!!!!
    really truly they happen so fast, just enjoy...and have fun!
    xo

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  9. I've never been into partying or going out either. I can relate so well to this. I'm also in college right now. xo, rv

    http://aneclecticheap.blogspot.com/

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  10. wow, i think we have really similar personalities! i'm always working on something, can rarely ever just sit down and watch tv without drawing/crocheting/meal planning/something! it's like my brain never shuts off.
    i'm always thinking about the future too, about things that aren't even relevant right now but i feel like i need to plan anyhow.
    right now i'm working on getting my own business going (web design/administration), running eef-ink.com (which is mostly hobby, but still time consuming), working random projects for people, and running our household. there is always SOMETHING i feel like i need to be doing!
    i enjoy it though. it's not really paying the bills yet (once i get my real business going it *should* pay the bills), but i have a great boyfriend who supported my decision (and really encouraged me) to quit the terrible job i had and try my own thing. so since may i've been working out what my own thing is and hopefully when i officially kick things off in january all will go well!

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  11. oh yeah, and if you figure out how to keep things separate, let me know! working from home is really hard! i feel like my house has to be in order before i can sit down and work on a project, and then i get distracted by personal things i need to do. i try not to work when my boyfriend is home, so no nights or weekends. but then again, i'm not very busy yet since i haven't officially opened, and i've broken that rule a few times already. i really want to implement a schedule once i have more regular work, but i know if i'm working on a project i will probably just sit there and work on it until it's complete. i don't like leaving things unfinished and i get in serious work mode and don't want/remember to do anything else. still, i think a schedule might be somewhat helpful...

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  12. so spooky! I'm fairly certain you just described me to a T! hah. I'm actually 21 and I started college when I was 16, graduated last year, got married this year, quit my "9-5" and opened my own shop this past month. I'm constantly obsessing over the "next step" and find it almost impossible to get it out of my head!
    If you figure out how to deal with it, you let me know, okay? lol I'd totally love some tips on that myself

    LOVE your blog by the way... SO lovely!

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  13. You are totally speaking my language on the constantly working thing. I have to have a balance of routine and chaos...that's where I thrive. I get routine from my 9-5 (which I love to death, but definitely realize it's not for everyone) and I get my chaos from freelance work. Some days I come home and sob because I can't seem to get everything done, but then I realize that people don't expect me to complete things in record time! Then I just feel thankful that I have things to occupy my time :) I would be so bored if I didn't have freelance work to do.

    I don't go out either. Sometimes people ask me what I do for fun on the weekends...and I get blank stares when I say work. Occasionally I might take a day trip (like to the Nashville flea market!) Me and Rhett usually just get take-out or cook and watch a movie on the couch for fun :) And I wouldn't trade that for the world.

    Now where we differ completely is in fretting over the future. The only things I think about as far as future is retirement and wedding. I have 3 investment funds going...and the state of the stock market makes my stomach turn. I keep looking at my ROTH IRA and seeing how far down it is and it makes me nervous...but I won't be touching that money for a LONG time. Anyway, I do obsess over wedding stuff even though I'm not engaged :) haha. I just know that once I get engaged the planning will be a total blur. Other than that, I don't think about the future...I think it is just so daunting that my mind won't focus on it. Maybe that's a blessing.

    Anyway, it's good to read that other people my age are constantly working too. I don't feel like such a freak anymore. haha

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  14. I have to say that I'm really enjoying this series, Kaelah. My favorite posts on blogs are always the personal ones where I get to meet a blogger and know them better.

    I have the exact same issue - constantly wondering "what's next" instead of focusing on life. It's cheesy but the best quote I've ever heard about this is, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." What you're doing now, what you and Mike do when it's just the two of you on the couch, that is life. The waiting itself, that's life. If you're always waiting for the next thing, you're never going to stop waiting...once you're in that mindset I don't think it's easy to break away. There's never going to be a magical time when you are finally content and everything is totally planned and relaxed. Once you have kids, it's "how are we going to pay for college?" or "what will we do in retirement?" does that make sense? It's a tough lesson for all of us, especially in the US where we are kind of conditioned to always expect some new and big thing.

    I don't really like country music but I heard this one song (suuuuper cheesy) that I think captured this well also...I think it's called "You're Gonna Miss This," and basically it follows a young woman when she's a teenager, and her parents are telling her you're going to miss this and want it back, blah blah...then she becomes a wife and starts talking about family, same thing all the way through. I know it's country, and totally awful and schmaltzy, but it really connected with me at a time I needed it.

    This is a super rambley comment so for that I apologize. Basically I commiserate, and the above is what I tell myself when I realize that I'm trying to move too fast :)

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  15. I read an interesting article awhile back about Bethany Frankel- and how she manages work/life balance. I remember a few years ago- I would think alot about work/life balance- and natural you would think it needs to be 50/50.. but Bethany said you just have to carve out the time- if it's 10/90 or 20/80 or whatever it is- if you a person who loves what they do- it's just aout making the time for what matters.

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  16. Kaelah,slooooow down. Take a breather. Take a break. Get out of the house,even if it's just for an hour. Go walking. I honestly think you are too stressed,or,MAKING yourself stressed,if that makes sense. Have you ever read "Don't sweat the small stuff for women"? If not,I recommend it. You remind me so much of myself from a year ago,it's crazy. I love these posts. Keep it up. :)

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  17. I can relate with you 100%. I am constantly feeling anxious about what is to come next, that I often don't live in the future. As for going out, I am with you on that, too! I went to a school that most people lived off campus, so there wasn't a chance to connect or socialize as much as a regular school, and I just never connected with anyone, but I don't regret it either. I'm focused on what will happen in the future with our family. I'm 23, married when I was 21, and happily focused on what that can bring us, and work mostly towards my dream of my small business.

    I hope you get some good secretes about balance and share with us! I'm thankful to know I'm not alone with feeling like a lady that should be nearing a mid-life crisis!

    Thanks for this :)

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  18. I'm 34, the last ten years went by faster then I expected. You need to live in the moment and enjoy your twenties.

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  19. You'd get a long perfectly with my core group of besties. We all think like that, and we are also not much of the "partiers" we even have girly get togethers on thursday nights in which we craft or watch some girly show like gossip girl... one one of her craft nights recently one of the girls said "oh my gosh, I feel like we are in our 40s" HAHAHAH! TOTALLY! But I love it. I'd rather be in making pretty things than out drinking!

    If you reread your post, you gave yourself the best advice of all... you just gotta take your own advice to heart. You've got a strong head on your shoulders so you got this! Just live in the present.... make sure even when things are UBER busy, you take KB time, or KB & Mike time. No crafting or business on those days, just relax and go hiking or something totally not business or "future" related... live in the now.... if you can't do this weekly (I know - it's hard) do it once a month!!

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  20. I can definitely relate, I feel the same way and worry about the same things. I think that's whats so great about blogging, you can find people that are like you. I love this "Honest to Blog" feature! It's cool to get to know how you think better :)

    -Arielle
    humblepievintage.com

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  21. I really appreciate your honesty here. I feel like you're going through so much even though you're only a mere 5 years older. After going a sort of premature quarter life crisis, I'm still struggling to find a sort of balance between everything (if it's possible to find a sweet spot at all) but I am still trying to hustle. Posts like this encourage me to continue do so and never stop dreaming (and god I'm only 18).

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  22. Look at what you've accomplished. Really take the time to look.

    I think most bloggers can relate to your post because most of us are hoping to connect with people more of our nature, by expressing ourselves online. I've been the way you're describing since I was 16 (minus the baby girl stuff ;)

    It's important to take a breath and focus on now, before it passes. If you're a reader, check out "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" or anything by Eckhart Tolle but more specifically, "The Power of Now".

    Aside from that, I find taking time away from thinking about the future helps: Taking a few hours to go out and take photo's, to write everything out, to catch a film, to make a fancy dinner for friends. We all need a break from our over thinking sometimes.

    Nothing is ever as big as it seems. As a society we're told that if we're not working as hard as we can, then we won't make any financial gain. There are many people who work within reason and do extremely well for themselves.

    Rachel
    http://rawhimsical.blogspot.com/

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  23. Hey darlin, thank you so much for sharing. I love this series and you've got a lot of, um, 'balls' to publish exactly what's going on in your head. That's something I really love about your blog and it's something I try to do on mine, as well. I think it's really awesome to be honest and personal with your readers. It gives them something to relate to and read about other than just a pretty face. :)

    I completely understand how your brain works when it comes to the future. I don't really do it about my career or a family right now... I do it with love. I'm single for the first time in many years, and I absolutely hate dating. It's awkward, annoying and heartbreaking. I wish I could meet someone, get settled and marry right away! I wish I could fall asleep, wake up, and be with the man of my dreams... and not have to go through this mess. Needless to say, I'm very impatient. And instead of taking the time to enjoy my freedom and independence, I'm focusing on finally meeting The One.

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  24. I'm exactly the same. I always think, "I'll be dead before I know it!" so I don't live in the moment enough. x

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  25. I can relate I'm 24. I've also had the same worry that I'll be in my forty's and feel that I completely missed my 20's. But if I am doing what I love I don't think that will be an issue. I've never been one to want to go out on the weekends and party, or go to bars I've never seen the point of getting drunk like must of my friends; I prefer to remember what I did the next day.

    I'd rather be working, but that's not to say that I don't have fun. I enjoy going out with friends, going to movies. Even if it's not seen as something a 20 something is suppose to do.

    Carissa

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  26. I feel the same but having a baby was a real game changer. I was just stepping over into the next stage of my career when I fell pregnant and we decided to have a baby. All of a sudden my career went out the window (i needed to be putting in the hours, be available any time and do the networking to get anywhere from that point on) for a least the next few years. But the thing is, I don't want what I was working for anymore. I wanted to be famous and well renowned (only within my own industry!) but now I just want to be famous to my kid and I want to be a stay at home mum. That's huge coming from a former work-a-holic! I'm not saying you will feel the same, of course, I'm just saying having babies makes your goals and dreams waver sometimes. it's unpredictable!

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  27. i really appreciate these blog posts. i love when bloggers are 'real' with their feelings, it's amazing to see how many people can relate when you think that you are the only one feeling a certain way. i've felt the way you do too, and have JUST started to realize that i can't live in the future any longer. i really have missed so much of the present because of it. i found it really hard to stop thinking about where i want to be and what i should be doing, so instead i've created myself a goal of making 2012 the year i live day to day. one whole year makes me feel like i have more time to adjust my thinking to living in the present and i'm excited to not be stressed because my mind can't seem to be quiet about the future. i swear, your brain works against you sometimes ha!

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  28. Wow. I seriously could have written this post. Actually, I have written this...only it was in my journal, not on my blog.

    My best bet at balance is my husband. We just celebrated our first anniversary and I've been consumed with baby fever since we said our I do's. Jeff has really helped to remind me to enjoy the moment. If it were up to me, we'd already have two kids, a house, and I'd be the owner of a coffee shop. It's hard to remember that everything will happen when it's supposed to.

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  29. I tried that 9-5 stuff during the summer between my junior and high school years and its just not for me. I haven't gone to college yet because I joined the Army instead and what college I will be doing, will be done online and at my own pace so I won't have to worry about the temptations of partying or anything like that. I have always been a very driven student and the same applies when I get started on a project I really enjoy, not really into to the whole party scene. Maybe its just because I am anti-social to a degree or whatever, but thats just who I am.
    I obsess about my future alot, and I don't know if that is because my current line of work sometimes our future isn't certain, or just because thats how I am.

    Just try not to miss out on the present because you worry about the future. I have a hard time not getting caught up in the Army life being PFC Jenn and losing just Jenn, the creative weirdo who wants to do so much with her life.

    Thank you as always for sharing your Honest-to-blog posts with us! I love reading them and your blog. Keep your head up, things will get better soon. :) You are such aninspiration to me, just so you know.

    <3 Jenn

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  30. HOLY COW!! I love your thought process. It's so similar to mine. I'm in a different part of my life than you, but ultimately, we think soo much alike it's scary!! I'll definitely be back to read more. Thanks so much for sharing!!

    Digger ~xoxo~
    http://digdeeperdesign.blogspot.com/

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  31. Honestly Im jealous... Im 24, college grad, small business owner AND work an 8-5 (yes, 9 hour days, lame!). We also try to go out and have our fun too, but it seems like I let myself get too caught up in the what if and when and how it's all going to turn out!

    XoXo

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  32. I wish that I had some life changing advice for you. I'm 41 and I still obsess over these things - but I can give you this bit of advice as an "older" lady who often wonders if she's waited too long for kids. Don't wait until everything is perfect before you do what you desire the most. Life doesn't work that way. Trust me, before you know it, you will indeed be forty and saying, "I can't believe that I worried so much back then when I actually had the world on a string.."

    We all have these ideas in our minds about how we think that things should progress..and very often, they don't go that way at all. Sometimes, we really can spend too much time looking into the future to enjoy the present. And that's coming from a fellow homebody. :) There is always, always going to be something to wonder and worry about. Even when you get the things on your list that you've written here, you'll have other things that will busy your mind. Try to force yourself to enjoy the now of it all and the journey that takes you towards those things that you want. There's a good chance that by the time that you get there, you'll have changed your mind on some of the specific details anyway and will want something completely different than is in your mind's eye now.

    And good on you for knowing so early in life that you're not cut out for the 9 to 5 life. Honestly, I think that so few people are. It's just drilled into our heads that it's what we're supposed to do. I'd rather have less of the things in life that label us as "successful" than to be unhappy and dread every single day because a job makes it that way.

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  33. Don't ever work a 9-5 unless, like you said, you absolutely have to. I work 9-5, I'm 24, and I feel all the time like I spend my life going to work. I love my job, don't me wrong; I get to design pretty things and add them to my portfolio and I have a steady paycheck and benefits... but I would love love love to do what you're doing... in the sense that you're doing what you WANT, not what you feel like you HAVE to do.

    My parents are very supportive, but in the end, they're very traditional in the work sense. Every time I've ever come to them with an idea to do my own thing, steady money is always the issue. And I hate that. Life isn't about making the most money... I want to live to work, not work to live.

    I feel like right now I'm just "doing my time" until I save enough to quit the 9-5 and really get to do my own thing (I wanna open a bakery/coffee shop). But I'm always brought back to the question: "Okay, I'm just saving up for my time... but WHEN will that time be?"

    I don't party a lot either, yet I still feel like my 20's are flying by because I'm wasting it working all day. I try sometimes to start doing crafty things and such but I'm so tired when I get home, not just physically (because I design/print/mount signs and run around delivering them all day) but mentally. I don't really have energy to do anything but go to the gym, cook dinner and pass out. It sucks!

    I just hope that I'm not stuck in my 40's still telling myself that I'm "saving up for my time." Enjoy what you're doing because it's what you want! In your 40's, I bet you'll feel a lot more fulfilled in how you lived your 20's :]

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  34. When I first started reading your blog I must say that I was a little shocked to find out that you were 23. You are much more mature than most 23 year olds I know.

    You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders, and you should be proud of that. I wouldn't worry so much about being like other people your age. Don't worry about not "enjoying" your 20s, you are enjoying them in your own way!

    I am the same way. I am 30, and I was always more mature than my other friends. I guess I was far more concerned with growing up and responsibilities than I was with partying and spending all my money, and if you compare my life to theirs now, I am far better off and living a better life.

    Do what feels good to you, and what makes you happy. Everything will fall into place!

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  35. I think one of the best ways to keep things in perspective is to look at everything you have accomplished. There was a point in time where you probably daydreamed about getting engaged and setting up your mobile shop. Now, you've accomplished both! Being excited about what you have now not only keeps you in the present but helps make you more confident about the future. You made it this far, just keep swimming!

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  36. Oh wow. While reading this it was the strangest feeling that I was reading my own thoughts out on a page. I often tell my friends I am a 40 year old stuck in a 20 year old body. I really dislike partying, I too am in college (to be an RN) and I can't imagine having the time to party and really have no desire to! Me and my boyfriends date night usually consists of homework and watching friends ;) I worry constantly about the future (my friends call me a worry wart)and I also stash baby stuff!
    Thank you for making me feel just a teeny bit more normal <3
    To answer your question... I don't ;) I need to though, so when you figure it out let me know!

    <3 Sarah
    theantiquepearl.blogspot.com

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HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB