The Power of the X

I rescheduled today's post in light of a recent read that had me so fired up and ready to kick some booty. *Ahem* Today I read a post written by Elizabeth over at Delightfully Tacky. I've always loved Elizabeth's demeanor an her hoorah attitude. She's a fearless and fun female with a tomboy side that is fascinating. She's equally adorable and quirky and I had the pleasure of meeting her last year as she drove across the country in her '73 Winnebago Brave. Today she published a piece titled The Infinite Variety of Individuals and man, it was a refreshing read (and full of adorable pictures of Elizabeth, too!). I've thought about things relating to this issue a lot the past couple of years. After my time at BUST and just being inspired by incredible women, I've also come to the harsh reality that all feminists aren't created equal. What I mean by that is that today men are not women's biggest enemy in the world place or at home... while we are still competing for equal salaries and benefits, women have a bigger monster to stand up to each and every day... each other. I've posted pieces about girl power before and how we should all be "girl's girls" and help build each other up instead of tearing one another down, but this was such a wonderful example of that in real life. Please know that up front, this is not in any way a rant. I know from experience it's hard to detect tone and inflection in a written piece, but I give respect where respect is due in every facet of this debate.

I guess I should start at the beginning. Julie Klausner originally wrote a post about the backward nature of grown women liking things that linked them to their youth. Cupcakes, the color pink, rainbows, unicorns, laughing a lot, etc. She claims that women like these things in order to seem more innocent and youth-like to men. She says that we choose to publicize those things so that we can seem less intimidating and more approachable and datable. Excuse me?! Did you really just go there?! If we're talking about anyone setting us back in the feminist movement then surely that must make the cut! What happened to people just liking things because they like them? If you were to ask me (and I know you didn't, but I'm sharing anyway!), cupcakes, rainbows and laughing are pretty magical things! They're awesome. Let's not try to deny. So why do we have to "be hard" just to be "modern women" in the eyes of Klausner? Isn't that just as bad? Be who you are, be unabashed and unashamed! Yeah, I graduated college. I have a degree, a car payment, and a Costco membership... I'm an adult woman, right? So as an adult woman who has accomplished things in her life, why can't I like cupcakes without feeling chastised by the rest of today's "modern women?"

I've always considered myself a feminist. I believe in equality all around and not bowing down to anyone's expectations or desires. I believe in being myself whole-heartedly and not being ashamed of my accomplishments, or my failures. Yet one thing has always irked me about the present-day feminist movement. It seems that so many "feminists" (and I use quotations for emphasis) are so hell-bent in pointing out every other woman being a bad feminist. See, I'm even doing it myself. It's such a twisted and backward world we're living in. I can agree with Elizabeth when she says that she notes the valid points in Klausner's argument, that we should never dumb ourselves down in pursuit of a man. Of course we shouldn't. But we also shouldn't pretend to not like the things we truly do enjoy for the same reason!

If you like cupcakes and rainbows, like them! Don't apologize! If you like boot cut jeans and trucker hats, like them! Don't apologize! If you've made the personal decision to be a stay at home mom or stripper, do it! Don't apologize! So many women say that "you can't be a stripper and be a feminist" or "SAHMs are bad feminists!" That's such bullcrap! If you have made that decision, then you're doing everything right. Maybe you're taking the reigns on your sexuality, or maybe you just like the money, but don't feel like you're any less of a woman because you're an exotic dancer. Maybe you're a stay at home mom raising two kids while Dad is out working 9 to 5. If you've made the decision to be a SAHM, own it! As long as no one is forcing you into that role then you're just as strong as the rest of us.

So many women today just take things at face value. They don't look at the underlying reasoning. Or maybe they do, in the case of Klausner, and they just get it all wrong. Sure, there are some women out there who dumb their likings down to simple pleasures like "cuddling" and "kissing in the rain," but that doesn't mean the rest of us deserve to be lumped into that category, too. We shouldn't be written off just because we sincerely enjoy those activities.

Elizabeth was quick to make such a good point in her post. She said "I want girls to feel like they can be contradictory." Exactly! Bravo Elizabeth! It's totally okay to be a huge melting post of interests and activities! I wear a dress every single day. Every day. Not because I need a man to visualize me as a helpless child in need of a knight in shining armor. No. I wear them because I like them! They make me feel awesome. In a way, they make me feel even more badass than wearing jeans because I have this juxtaposition with my tattoos and to me, it creates a beautiful composition. Klausner also mentions these women "getting tattoos they will never grow into" and she links an image of a rabbit tattooed behind a woman's ear. What?! So we're allowed to draw conclusions on the importance of someone else's tattoo simply because in real life's form it's a fluffy and sweet creature?! I feel that while the original article set out to make a valid point, it missed it's mark and instead made a completely different one entirely. Rather than convince us all to drop our "cutesy" likings, it's made us more and more aware of the judgmental side within our own gender. Klausner's post also failed to deliver an unbiased look at the current trend and instead it really only pointed out one thing, it annoyed her. While you can write about things that annoy you (much like I'm doing myself), you also must give all due respect and I personally think she missed the mark.

With that being said, I hope you all like what you like, when you like, and for reasons that are your own... not because some journalist said it's taboo or because some guy might notice you. Wear frilly dresses and get tattooed. Dress head to toe in pink and rebuild that engine in that sweet '67 Mustang. Be a total tomboy and secretly watch Clueless when you're home alone. Don't let anyone make you feel inferior because you don't live by their standards. Wear your XX chromosomes proudly! I'd forego a Wine and Cheese night with stuffy people in a heartbeat for a throwback slumber party, popcorn and our favorite 90's RomComs. In fact, who's up for it?! 


  1. Thanks for writing this, Kaelah - I agree with you.

    I've seen so many women say negative things about other women being SAHMs or working moms, and honestly I think some of it comes from insecurity. As American women we're not sure what exactly society "wants" us to be doing (as I think we have a more nebulous role now than we did in previous eras - in the 50s you were pretty much restricted to the home, etc.) and as a result want to rationalize what we're doing as the "right" thing...this often comes out as denigrating the "other" side as somehow inferior. But we shouldn't have to rationalize! We need to focus more on our own happiness and health, whether you're a stripper, working mom, SAHM, or circus clown.

    We don't need "approval" from men, feminists, or anyone else in society. Honestly I think post-initial feminism we're moving in that direction...we can really just be our own worst enemies sometimes. Thanks again for sharing your viewpoint :)

  2. I love this so much Kaelah! I agree that we all should just be who we want to be. Tattooed or not, pierced or not, etc etc! I love being contradicting. Somedays I'm girly in vintage, somedays I'm edgy in black, and somedays I'm formal! I really wish everyone would just be who they want to be. Thank you for this post, dear :)
    I'd attend your sleepover ;)
    Love and Turtledoves,

  3. Thank you Kaelah. First of all, I loved reading this, and I absolutely agree with you the Klausner missed her mark completely. I feel like she is being more judgemental that she should be. I like girly things, yet I still see myself as a strong woman. I think that anyone and everyone has the right to be who they want to be and not worry about what others think. You are incredible and so inspirational! I also agree with how we, as women need to stick together and stop being enemies with each other!

    Meanz (Koi Story)

  4. I read Elizabeth's post, too, and it was definitely inspiring and encouraging- just as yours was! I think that you totally hit it on the head when you said that "we should never dumb ourselves down in pursuit of a man. Of course we shouldn't. But we also shouldn't pretend to not like the things we truly do enjoy for the same reason!"

    We're supposed to be... us. I am who I am. People can choose to like me or not like me. But I'm definitely not changing myself to fit anyone's idea of what I "should" be. I'm happy being a tattooed 24 year-old girl who loves classic rock and Star Wars, but who works for the North American Mission Board and has an obsession with cupcakes and painting my fingernails different colors at least twice a week. That's me, and people can take me or leave me, but I'm not changing myself to please anyone.

    Thanks so much for posting this!! You are awesome.

  5. THIS POST. Oh my gosh, you hit the nail on the head. That article deriding girls who like cutesy things infuriated me so much when I first read it, and your response is just so incredibly spot-on.

    I really hope your point of view is the future of feminism. We should all be supportive of each other, no matter what career paths we pursue, or what movies we enjoy, or what our favorite colors are. And we shouldn't have to apologize for still liking the things we liked as kids! My brother still proudly displays his Hot Wheels collection, still plays with legos and watches his childhood favorite "Twister" non-stop.. he doesn't have to sacrifice his youth to the alter of manhood, why should we have to sacrifice ours to womanhood?!

    And seriously... popcorn + slumber parties = 99x more awesome than wine and cheese tastings.

  6. I read and commented on Elizabeth's post and I totally agree - who is she to tell us what we can and can't like in order to fit her mold. I am a strong idependant woman with an affinity for cupcakes. So what??


  7. All I gotta say to this is: YES AND THANK YOU!

  8. Wow, that Julie Klausner chick has a lot of nerve. Who is she to judge who people want to live their lives. So, your telling me because I wear pink and love cupcakes I can't be a strong level headed woman...WOMP WOMP. Personally, I think everyone is entitled to their opinion, but better get ready to get some flack when its pure nonesense!

  9. This is absolutely insane. I enjoy the contradiction between the tattoos I have and the way I dress. I love being able to go out in public with scrapped up legs and bruises because of the job that I'm pursuing [I'm working on getting a degree in paleontology]. Be who you want to be- not who the world says you should be. I found something on tumblr the other day that blew my mind though. I get the whole wanting to be your own person thing and everything but this is absolutely ridiculous.

  10. You are so right! It's ridiculous to say that (some) girls only like rainbows and laughing to be "cute"! They are just great! And I don't think anyone in the first wave of feminism would have dared to admit that thinks like unicorns are awesome cause it would have been a sign of weakness.
    I don't think for anyone to judge someone else because of what they like is just stupid!

  11. I'm totally up for a big girl slumber party! ;)

    You may have written this post as a rant, but it is extremely well thought, intelligent and thorough. I am a woman, I wear dresses and I play video games at the same time. And I'm going to keep doing it. And its so true how other women are either your best friend or your worst friend. But it's not just women. If a man or woman doesn't accept people for who they are then they're consciously or subconciously competing with you, trying to prove that their way of life is better. I accept the fact that everyone is different and likes different things and does the same things in different ways. If someone doesn't accept that then we have no reason to be around each other.

    You could look at these comments as a standing ovation.

  12. I am so, so, so happy that you wrote this. with your huge readership, perhaps the message of girl love instead of girl hate will reach more and more girls. I'm a proud feminist, and I totally agree that everyone should just be who they are. Let's conquer sexism by showing how multi-faceted and varied we are, and how united we can be in spite of all those differences.

    seriously, awesome.

  13. I loved reading the post over on Delightfully Tacky and I loved reading your take on things here!

    My favorite part of your post - which summed up my feminist ideals quite succinctly - was when you wrote "If you have made that decision, then you're doing everything right."

    I have a hard time understanding why so many feminists, rather than defining feminism for themselves and living by that declaration are so intent on attacking others and pointing out flaws/incongruities whenever someone else's lifestyles or ideals differ from theirs in the slightest.

    I am with you - it all really comes down to making the best choices for ourselves, regardless of expectations of others.

    Hah :) And did you follow the bird link? Don't even get me started on her that misguided tangent!

    Hope you're having an awesome Monday and miss Georgia is feeling better!

  14. i agree! i do feel that it is women being more open about the fact they like girly things as opposed to women lying down for a man. for years a woman had to hold her own by being tough and "manly" to get anywhere in the work world or get noticed for being independent and strong. now women have more freedom to do what men do but with a touch of girl to them if they want. i think it allows for a more openness to what women like while still maintain their strength. i do not like pink, but i love other "girly" things like cupcakes. i grew up on a farm though, and you better believe that i can shot a heels!

  15. This is the EXACT REASON I shut down the feminist org/website i used to run. All the infighting and jostling for position made it a chore to try and accomplish anything. Now I still have feminist values, but voice my option alone. So sad.

  16. Thank you! I usually feel the most insecure in a room full of women (especially ones I went to high School with) because I know how judgmental some women can be. I only started reading your blog a few weeks ago, but I love how you do what you want and wear what you want, that's what's fun and makes us all individuals.

  17. I love, love, love that you and Elizabeth posted about this! I am so sick of the idea that "feminine = anti-feminist." I love the color pink, and I have my entire life, even when boys were the absolute last thing on my mind. It's so wrong to make assumptions about people based on things they wear or things they choose to do/like. I'll probably always like cute things and cupcakes, and I'll probably get a tattoo or two, and I'll do those things because they're who I genuinely am, thankyouverymuch. I refuse to force myself to "grow up" or "dumb down" to impress others, because I am happy with myself and where I am in life. And THAT is what matters, not whether I have Hello Kitty pajamas or an old-lady nightgown.

  18. wow Kaelah! thanks for sharing! I am a 31-year-old woman who works an 8 to 5 job in a corporate world but in my personal life love Hello Kitty, Alice in Wonderland, silly girly movies. I don't think this makes me any less of a woman than the next. I am helping to raise 4 incredible kiddos and hope that when they look at me they can see that I'm true to myself - I'm me no matter what anyone else says or thinks - and there are so many sides to me. I love what you had to say here. As women, we should be supporting and building one another up... that's why I love the blogging community so much!

  19. i think a lot of "feminists" forget that the whole idea behind feminism is giving women power & choice. feminists fought for our right to make decisions about our lives, not be forced into any particular way of living. just as you said, if our CHOICE is to be a stay at home mom, how can others degrade us for that? so, so silly.

  20. Thank you (both you and Elizabeth) for addressing this. My friends and I started dissecting it last night on Facebook.

    I think the "right" way the author could have gone with the article would be to address hetero-patriarchal pressure for women to appear pre-pubescent, in keeping with mainstream pornography, etc. If women love something deemed "childish," that's their prerogative, and they totally should carry on with what makes them happy! However, if a woman is being deemed "unfeminine" by patriarchal culture because she doesn't love certain things, or doesn't scrupulously remove all her body hair, that's a problem.

    (Another problem with the blurry girl/woman dichotomy is the sexualization of things intended for children. EG, have you ever tried shopping for a Halloween costume, or even plain clothes for a 5 year old girl? It can be downright scary.)

    To be "feminine," according to feminism, is to be empowered to be whoever you want to be and to do what brings you joy. It is NOT the adherence to one particular set of traits or another. Everybody should feel free to be their rockin' selves! =)

  21. Congratulations on this post.
    I have a theory of why women criticize women. That is that we live in a male thinking world where everything is competition. Who looks better, who has more money, who makes it first. But the nature of women has always been collaboration, not competition. One of the things that reinforce the theory of living in a male centered world is that women are being taken to the hospital to give birth and have a surgery instead of a birth. It makes more money and it takes natural abilities of women away from them. They make us scared of doing what our bodies know how to do, by pushing it to be a terrible experience.

    That was just an example. Thank you for sharing this post.

  22. Oh Kaelah, how true your words are. I wish more people would not be afraid to like things they like because they like it, not because someone else does or doesn't like it.

    I just had to tell a girlfriend of mine the other day when she said "IDK what to do with my hair, some people like it short, some like it long" Uh, OKAY!! How do YOU like it?! do it that way!!

    And I adore cupcakes, pink and rainbows not because it reminds me of childhood, HECK, as a CHILD I LOATHED those things, I was a daddys girl tom boy, I like them now just because. They make ME happy!

    Do what makes your heart soar friends!

  23. So I read her article and JEEZ, I wonder what she thought about the whole "punk rawk" movement when Avril Lavigne was big? Girls wearing spikes and black and skulls and listening to screamo and getting tattoos and being all tough?

    ... I'm sure she found that "annoying" too

    Ugh, everything about what Klausner said in that article rubs me the wrong way. Like you said, she's lumping all girls into one stereotype. Excuse me for going on etsy to buy something unique and handmade and supporting an individual rather than a mega corporation. Excuse me for not being a power bitch because that's not my personality. I wear dresses and flowers and get told all the time that I'm intimidating (ha, go figure). People say it's my face, and that I'm just shy... but it goes to show that you can wear and like whatever you want and still be intimidating!

    I just don't know where she gets off thinking girls like these things so they appear "datable" to men... because that's what our whole existence mounts up to, right? to get dates with men? /sarcasm.

  24. ahem, I'm going to step out of my polite online voice for a moment to say, "FUCK YES!" go you for posting this. Goddamn, I HATE that women love to tell each other how they are "allowed" to present themselves as feminists. Fuck that. A real woman, a real man, a real PERSON, it does not matter the gender, is honestly and truly themselves whether they fit a stereotype or completely head a different direction. Being true to ones self is what matters MOST. trusting yourself and finding confidence and pride in you and your voice are what matter and that applies to all genders.

    I just watched a wrinkle in time after having read the book at least 10 years ago and there were some pretty incredible lines in there pertaining to how humans naturally want to judge a person based on how they look on the outside or how they appear.


    "No, Meg, but people are more than just the way they look. Charles Wallace's difference isn't physical. It's in essence."

    "She contented herself with looking at Mrs. Whatsit. Even though she was used to Mrs. Whatsit's odd getup (and the very oddness of it was what made her seem so comforting), she realized with a fresh shock that it was not Mrs. Whatsit herself that she was seeing at all. The complete, the true Mrs. Whatsit, Meg realized, was beyond human understanding. What she saw was only the game Mrs. Whatsit was playing; it was an amusing and charming game, a game full of both laughter and comfort, but it was only the tiniest facet of all the things Mrs. Whatsit could be."

    "We look not at the things which are what you would call seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal. But the things which are not seen are eternal."

    WHO YOU ARE is what is inside of you, your essence, the parts of you that are not tactile or physical. The physical is a mere attempt at revealing elements of the inside or how you feel. They are beautiful and freeing. But what matters most is the essence of you. And the essence that everyone should strive for is love and compassion! What happens on the outside of you is a simple visual exploration of self.

    We as women should NOT condemn each other for how we present ourselves, for pursuing the things we love. And the same goes for men. The essence of YOU is what matters, and a good hearted and compassionate person will see through what you do and how you dress to experience the YOU that is your essence.
    It sounds hippy dippy, but I think you get my point.

    I love this post Kaelah. I dig you for all that you are. <3
    xo Moorea

  25. Ok so I just read the Julie Klausner article and I get that she's annoyed by all the little girl stuff. She may or may not have intended to hit such a nerve. But the very beginning of her article draws a comparison between the whole "men acting like boys" hoopla that's been going around and women who like cupcakes.

    And I just don't see that. The "men acting like boys" thing isn't about adult men who happen to like Tonka trucks and Legos. Anything I've read about the matter usually refers to men acting selfishly and irresponsibly and having no basic survival skills. This article, however, only criticizes women for possessing certain tastes. It makes no mention of women who *actually* run around acting like kids. In my opinion, if a woman is mature and can handle adult responsibilities, then whether or not she likes pink glittery cupcakes is a non-issue.

    I have an adult job. I've been in a serious relationship for 7 years. I run my own household and pay my own bills. I can handle conflicts with other people. I know how to feed myself. And yeah, I like rompers and flowers and yellow nail polish. Last week I bought a dress with bunnies and bows on it and I didn't suddenly forget how to be a grownup. And I certainly didn't buy it to get a dude's attention (really, how many guys are even attracted to "girly" things? If a woman wants to be "nonthreatening" I can think of several better ways to do it).

    If bunny tattoos and rainbows annoy the author, that's fine. I just think she made these things into a much bigger deal than they actually are.

  26. I agree, Klausner's article was grossly generalized, and the majority of her "points" weren't even valid. To me, it sounds like she has a set idea of how women should be and act, and if we don't fit into that box of hers, that makes her angry. That is so WRONG. We shouldn't have to be a certain way for acceptance from others, no matter who they are. Of course there are going to be things that other women do that I don't agree with or that go against my standards, but I'm not going to judge people or treat them differently because they're doing something I wouldn't do.

    I read Elizabeth's post, as well as yours, and I agree with most everything you both said. Well written. And I'll come to your sleepover! ;)

    Maria Elyse
    First Impressions
    Flying Ships Vintage

  27. BEAUTIFULLY written piece, Kaelah! & let's be honest, if I wanted to impress a guy & seem more dateable & he asked me what my interests were, I would certainly NOT say the color pink, unicorns, & cupcakes! Nonsense!

    Matter of fact I hate unicorns & am not the BIGGEST fan of cupcakes...

    but I LOVE monster movies, politics, macarons, & WINE.

    The end.

  28. You know, when I read the Julie Klausner article, I thought to myself "Kaelah is going to be TICKED." Because I know you're a girly girl but also a total firebrand and I can't see someone walking all over you at all. I'm so tired of all the girl on girl violence. It's a distraction from real issues.

  29. Also, let me tell you, being in the arts I am SO TIRED of wine and cheese. When I have movie nights with my girls, we always watch something silly that we've all seen a million times. That way we can talk and we don't have to pay attention the whole time. But I also watch a lot of documentaries and a lot of really "deep" movies. Heck, one of the categories Netflix has for me is "Smart movies with a strong female lead." Ugh, I could go on all day about this, lol.

  30. I was JUST writing a blog post about being brave enough to be yourself and then I read this. I applaud you for calling her out. I do NOT agree that women are doing this to get approval from men or seem more approachable. I like cupcakes and pink frilly dresses and wear my hair in pigtails and I already have a boyfriend! I could type forever so I will just leave it at that. Great post.

  31. HUZZAH Kaelah! Good on ya sister! And thanks for the hat-tip to Delightfully Tacky! ♥

  32. Thanks for a well written post Kaelah! I agree with you and Elizabeth. I'd attend the sleepover too. :)

  33. LOVE this! I'd so be down for that throwback sleepover, too!
    But really, I completely relate to this. In my high school days I went the tomboy route of feminism, mainly because it seemed like here in middle Tennessee there was only that option or what I saw as the anti-feminist: Southern Belle. In the past few years I've come to realize that embracing my femininity as much as I want is actually the best way to show my feminism. There is no mold for what a feminist should be which is exactly how it should be. Life would be boring if everyone was so easily categorized!
    Really Great post :)

  34. Excellent post, I loved reading it. I agree that so often these days, women are their own worse enemies. We need to live and let live! I am a lawyer, and I hate the fact that I am paranoid and anxious all the time that my interests outside of work - such as my blog, sewing, clothes, dressing up - will lead my work colleagues and bosses to think of me as frivolous, immature or less intelligent. I wish I was more confident in just being me, the hell with what other people think. I am not quite there yet, but posts like these are definitely a step in the right direction :) xxx

  35. YES. This is so perfect! Thank you!

    And I'd totally be down for that slumber party. (But I'd also be down for the wine and cheese party too!)

  36. What a great post. The part about women being allowed to be contradictory really jumped out at me because it's something I struggled with for a long time. I'm a gamer, a nerd, and pretty laid back. At the same time, I'm finding I'm really girly. The way I dress has become much girlier - as opposed to tshirts, jeans, and the occasional hoodie. Now, whenever I meet people who play video games, they laugh when I say I do too. It's kind of funny to shut them up with the history of Halo's Spartan II programme or how not to play a rogue in World of Warcraft, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to feel like I needed to prove myself.

    Lately, I've started to accept how different I am from one preference to another. And I'm beginning to, in turn, accept that in others. And I found a guy who loves how different I am too. Which makes it all easier :)

    I feel like women should focus more on being their natural self, in the healthiest way possible. I think that's what 'girl power' and all that jazz should really be about :)

    And I would totally go for a sleepover. I need some girl time. All my new friends in Texas are guys - they refuse to go for pedicures! :P

  37. I'm totally with ya. I can love my disney movies, enjoy fashion inspired by 70s-80s childwear (pan collars, empire waists, and knee high socks), puppies, kitties, rock out to some thrash punk and Lady Gaga in the same afternoon. We don't have to fit into any mold except for our own!

    Just one of the many reasons I love you & your bloggy wog.

  38. Seriously couldn't have said it better!

  39. love everything about this post. :) i love glitter nail polish & will never apologize for it. life is way too short for me to focus on what others expect or think i should be. & quite frankly, i'd rather be eating cupcakes.

    your post is inspiring & i hope it makes its way to the hands of teenage girls...

  40. I agree whole-heartedly. And that slumber party sounds awesome. :)

  41. Thank you so much for giving her post a much needed rebuttal! I enjoyed reading this post so much. I happen to be a girl who loves dressing in feminine clothes, cup cakes, etc...and it doesn't make me any less of a mature woman. Love your take on things!

  42. Apparently someone decided to take a giant swig of bitch juice & slap women all across the country. Klausner has everything all wrong & I am glad you spoke up about her ridiculous post.

  43. I just read both of those other posts, and I totally agree with you! We can be many different things and don't have to fit into a mold. Of course we shouldn't dumb ourselves down, but why can't I genuinely love Disney animation without trying to look like I'm child-like? Maybe I appreciate the art in it. And I can like video games and still be stylish and charismatic. We put all these stereotypes on activities people do. While they're sometimes right, they're not always! We can be both girly and have "masculine" traits too! I'm glad you posted this!

  44. I loved this post Kaelah. I was actually late for uni this morning because I was reading it. I recently published a post about how I feel I can't dress girly in academia because I feel like I am being judged by my peers - & when I say peers, I mean one woman who once suggested that any body who takes pride in their appearance must not be working hard enough or can't be a 'real' archaeologist. Those comments still resonate with me today. Ridiculous I know. I would really wanted to comment about this post in my own blog but I just don't have time to do it justice. Maybe tomorrow when I am not so busy.


    PS don't change, you are awesome the way you are & I love your blog because of it.

  45. Great post; You totally hit the nail on the head! :) I actually read Elizabeth's article and thought 'gosh I hope some other bloggers put these vibes out into the blogosphere!'

    I actually dont know what I should write here, because I dont think you missed a single point! I love the fact that you acknowledged that yes, some girls do 'dumb' down their interests for whatever reason.. Because we'd be so ignorant not to think so! But her entire article just preached ignorance in its highest form; she was telling us not to fit into a mold, yet she created one fit with a side platter of cheese and a glass of red. It totally contradicts her point! And quite frankly I'm not even sure what her point was. I mean, I would list one of my favorite hobbies as sewing. But I'm really not sure where this would sit on her scale of childlike>mature. One one hand, sewing is all over etsy,and being a 'creative'hobby, it could easily be labelled as a childlike cliche hobby. On the other hand, its an old old skill, one that takes a long time to build, and is arguably a sophisticated hobby.
    I really just dont understand her point.. I mean, she hates cupcakes, but does she hate cooking?

    People should be able to appreciate whatever delights them most! Personally, I would absolutelyx100 choose to watch clueless over a night out being sufficiently 'sophisticated' drinking wine. But at the same time, I would prefer to sit down and watch a jane austen documentary over Nickelodeon. However if that documentary were on at the same time as a show about fluffy animals it would be a tough choice!

    Let people be! Those that aren't being themselves will surely realize soon enough that their efforts aren't getting them anywhere! xx

  46. Such a fantastic post! I love wearing dresses and watching shows about baking, but it doesn't mean I let myself get walked all over by men or by other women. Thanks for bringing this subject up. :D

  47. This is SUCH a well written post..this most definitely took some time and thought! I agree with you what you like and don't apologize for it! Well said! I like pretty pink nail polish..but I also like intense "man" :)

    Thank you for taking the time to stop by my blog

  48. girl, took the words right out of my mouth.

  49. I read both your posts and it made me feel inspired. Every woman should do what makes her happy, and everything doesn't need to have the same theme. You love it and no one else has nothing to do with it. To be honest one thing that hurts me a lot, sometimes more than others, is that I usually don't eat meat (occasionally yes) and I love to experiment new foods and just LOVE vegetables (no I'm not kidding), but here it's not very usual to love fish or vegetables and my friends usually comment that I only eat rabbit food, or say something like: "oh she's just preparing some weird stuff". It hurts me a lot hearing it because I'm sick of people telling that what I eat is weird! The thing is that everytime I cooked for them they didn't complain because, although I'm no super cook, I cook quite well.
    But hey, I've to move past this and don't give a them right? :) Most of the time I'm pretty good at it.

  50. Oh no she didn't. I'll tell her where she can shove a unicorn.

  51. Amen to this post!!! She's so full of &)6! If she thinks women like what they want to seem innocent... I like makeup because it makes me feel good, I like baking and sewing because it's something I'm proud of doing but at the same time I can be a grease monkey too... I'll help you rebuild an engine! Woman like that are the problem nowadays... Dumb%}$!!!!!

  52. Kealah! you go girl!

    That was perfectly said! Thank you for standing up for us all!

    Much love
    Stacie x

  53. um, 90's romcoms yes please!!!! anything with freddie prinze jr :)

  54. I love what you're saying here. My love of cupcakes has NOTHING to do with wanting a man and everything to do with wanting to eat delicious and adorable cupcakes.

  55. Thank you for writing this! You've mastered the art of being smart and critical while still be positive, and I love it! I find that feminist writing can be so negative sometimes - pointing out injustices left, right, and centre - and it's nice to be reminded that feminist discussion can be positive too!

  56. I read Elizabeth's post yesterday and it made me feel so much more on top of who I really am. I feel as if I know who I want to be, and I already know what I like and what I love and what I dream about. My life consists of dresses, Hello Kitty and Friends E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E, stuffed animals, and mixed bright colours together in my room. my house plans- it's going to look like i live in a crayon box! and i don't care! if it's what i like, that's all that matters! it's time we actually start to love ourselves and forget anyone that can't love us for who we are! I totally agree with this so very much!

    lyndsey of hellolyndseyyy

  57. Thumbs up to this and Elizabeth's posts. I've always been rather contradictory and have always avoided the conversation with the "punk rock feminists" who tried to berate me for wearing skirts.

    I've always considered myself a feminist and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who knows it's okay to have heart, like kittens, and be strong all at the same time.


    Mini Penny Blog

  58. I'm so glad that I found this post! I love it! I'd love to link it on my blog, if you'd be interested!
    xo cortnie

  59. What a good post! I wrote about this for BUST a while back!



HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB