how much is too much?

with just one day of classes left (read: only one class, really) for the semester, i feel farther away from break than i did 6 weeks ago. it's amazing how some things in life have the ability to do that. its as though i can see the light at the end of the tunnel... it's getting closer. it's getting bigger. it's getting brighter. oh wait, thats a train.

things are piling on top of each other and i feel like i'm fighting for air. all i have left to do is drop off my holistic wellness journal and present my CMS VeganPod website that i built tomorrow. except my site isn't complete and i haven't started my journal. no one to blame but myself, there.

today was rough.

i woke up in the most fantastic mood ever, left nashville and was driving to class a few hours early so i could work on my websites when a huge chunk of firewood flew off someone's trailer and smashed into my windshield as i drove 70mph. i was so so so so incredibly lucky that i wasn't hurt. i'm blessed that the windshield managed to withstand that and i didnt swerve into traffic because the interstate was packed. had that gone through my windshield, it could have very easily killed me. or at the very least hurt me significantly. i was alone when it happened and absolutely terrified. i took down the driver's tag # because i couldn't wave him down. i pulled off the interstate and called the police. it took a hot minute (read: 55 minutes) for them to show up, and then another hour to write up the report and send me on my merry way. 2+ hours i lost working on my website that was due at 1pm. luckily my professor cut me some slack because i told him what happened. i've been dealing with police reports and insurance claims all day. nothing is going right. i have a huge gash in my windshield with no idea of when it will be replaced. its frustrating because the guy didnt do it on purpose, but the insurance company wants to charge him a $500 deductible when my windshield will only cost $300-ish (so they want him to pay $800 total! what a rip off! i hate the way they take advantage of people!) anyway.. i digress. all will be well soon.

all of this hullabaloo (can you believe this is a real word?! firefox didn't underline it in red or anything! and it underlines its own name! try it... type hullabaloo and firefox! ha!) has left me little to no time to perfect my site for tomorrow and im just frustrated i guess.

i've been thinking about blogging a lot lately. like writing about personal matters such as relationships, etc. how much is too much? i've definitely found myself having to explain myself to people lately because of breaking up with adam early last month and then seeing people ask "who is this mike character?" "you sure did move on from your ex awful fast" ugh. i'm a pretty open person when it comes to things and i dont mind talking about them, but the other people in the situation don't always enjoy being talked about, you know? i'm not worried about how i will look "professionally" with my blog, etc, simply because this is who i am. 110%. unabashed. unashamed. the good. the bad. and the days without makeup. and i want to tell you all about mike (and luckily he doesnt mind, i asked this time! haha) but at the same time i have to try and wonder when i'm being TOO open, know what i mean? i love being open and being able to relate to people who read my blog. maybe you went through a crappy break-up or you rekindled something amazing with someone from your past. no matter the circumstances, its nice to know you're not always alone. maybe thats why i blog. and maybe thats why i'm so open. and hopefully i'll be able to introduce mike to you the way i see him. he's utterly fantastic. i'll post what i've written soon. :)

hopefully i'll get back into my weekly rotation of posts, too. this semester has REALLY been something else... just 1 more class. 1.5 hours til freedom. ideally.

ps; if you want a christmas card from me, send me your information! you can email me, if you wish! i've got roughly 50 cards and they're reading for the taking!



  1. gahh! thank God you were okay! i know how things like that feel, you must have been terrified. it's amazing that you kept your cool when it happened.

    about the blogging thing, a friend of mine posts about personal stuff but never refers to her bf by name, stuff like that. that's one way to do it i guess.

    ps this is my Hell Week at school too... we shall get through it though.

  2. yeah it was definitely terrifying! and i've tried not naming them by name before, but i could never get into it haha i would always slip up so it never worked for me! :P

    good luck! we shall persevere!

  3. Don't stop writing what you want to write just because folks are being silly and judging something that they're not a part of

  4. i think you should ask yourself a few things

    do you enjoy blogging? is it theraputic to you in a sense? do you like sharing stories with people you know, as well as other who just enjoy reading about your life?

    with all of that said, i think you should continue writing. it's absolutely silly to stop something just because others think the timing of your decisions in YOUR life isn't the right thing. a way to even this situation out is, if you think what you are about to write is too much, just delute it, or don't say it. all in all, you seem to enjoy connecting with others. blogging allows that. i wouldn't reccomend stopping it, because others don't see somethings you do fit. you already know you can't, and shouldn't, please everyone.

    i enjoy reading about you. you're like this on going story book. except, instead of being a fictional character, you are real, and instead of ending, each week the story continues. it's nice being able to connect, agree, or relate, in any sense to you.

  5. thanks anon.. thats pretty much what i needed to hear i think. i guess i just got bogged down by certain people who i've volunteered information to in the past, just like all of you who read, but this person feels as though i actually OWE them more, you know what i mean?

    thanks for putting it perfectly <3

  6. i just wanted to comment on the relationship part.

    im in a similar position:
    my now ex and i lived together in Nevada for a while and had agreed that maybe it wasnt the right place for us to be so we decided to find a new home. but before then we went to stay with our families for a while.
    long story short, he dumped me over myspace and his reason was because he wasnt happy.

    anyway, abbboout a month later i started dating my really good friend. we've been friends for over a year and he's been there through my ups and downs but we've never dated. at least we tried but we figured it'd be easier just being friends.

    i guess my point is, who cares if you move on quickly? i always say its better to try something new rather than sit around sulking and being depressed about something thats now your past.

    obviously you'll still be hurt about it and have an attachment but..its easier to forget when you have someone around who WANTS to be around.

    now im with an amazing guy and thats only because i went for it. i never let old flames hold me back!

  7. i want a cloud room in my house, just lay in there and relax! ah that would be sweet

  8. I totally agree with what Gwendolyn said. There's no written rule that says "after you break up with someone you must wait [__] months before dating someone else". In some people's eyes, maybe you "moved on quickly" but in others', you had your time to grieve your relationship and now you've moved on. I bet there are people out there who even would think you waited too long to move on, and should've started dating someone else the very next week.

    Everyone's going to have an opinion and you're never going to be able to please absolutely everyone with the actions you take. What's important is that you're doing what's best FOR YOU. If you are, then however you're leading your life is "right", even if there's people that don't agree with you.

    If you feel that it was the right time to move on to another relationship and it makes you happy, then that's great. Don't be ashamed of it!! Write what you feel comfortable on your blog and don't worry about what other people may say :)

  9. all of you are fantastic and i truly truly value your opinions on the subject so thank you! you're so very right! i'm not hurting over adam anymore, the break up was my decision and this is def something i want to touch base on.

    thanks for taking the time to write out such responses! <3 y'all are the best


HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB