Honest To Blog -- Sunshine + Skittles

This week's Honest To Blog is one I think all bloggers have to face at one time or another. The feeling of needing to be overtly positive to gain attention/readers, and the feeling of dishonesty that might come with only sharing the good parts. Danielle wrote a really great post on this last week and I think she highlights the problem perfectly. Here are my thoughts:

I really started to get into writing this blog while/after I had broken things off with my boyfriend of three years. Times weren't exactly easy, but I saw this blog as a way to document to awesome things that came as a result of taking initiative in my life. I saw that breakup as a way to reinvent myself to be happier, healthier, and much more positive. I had found myself to be pessimistic in that relationship, and that was just one reason it was an unhealthy one. So that was that, I had a blog! I had a blog where I was going to share all the awesome things life had to offer. Everything was positive, and I rarely had a rant or "Debbie Downer" post anywhere. I was undeniably inspired by other positive-powered blogs and I wanted that happiness that they seemed to have. They had it all going for them. A great readership, their blogs paying the bills, and what seemed to be an overall magical life. I wanted that too!

My blog was a happy place. It still is, I think! I aimed to speak to other girls just like me. Letting them know they could have a perfectly manicured life, too. But after a while I started feeling like there were some holes that needed to be filled. Do I consider myself a positive person? Absolutely. Do I consider my blog to be a positive place? I really do. Does positive necessarily have to be void of some of life's "trickier" moments? Yes... wait... no? I think I'm slowly but surely learning that it doesn't.

To be, being positive means finding the bright side of any situation. Even if that means a really, really bad situation. Having these Honest To Blog posts has helped me balance the need to be "real" and upfront with all of y'all, but still find the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes knowing that you're not the only one who thinks these things or doesn't have a "perfect" life, well, that's reassuring. 

I don't read those blogs as often as I did. I'm not sure why. I like a well-maintained life as much as the next person but I don't want to find myself constantly wondering "What is her real deal?" When we're presented with a totally trimmed blog that only shares the good things, we're left to decide what we believe: 1) They have the most amazing life ever. Nothing ever goes wrong for them. They don't have financial issues, they don't argue with their significant others, they don't ever stress out, and they don't ever cry. Or 2) They're so crazy they have to leave all of that out. Disclaimer: I don't think people are actually crazy for leaving out the bad stuff... I don't blame them. My point here is that as a reader of these blogs, it often leaves us feeling inadequate in that department. Like our life isn't "magical" enough to be that perfect.

Blogs are edited content. Partially fact, partially fiction. Fact in the sense that this is what really happens in our lives, but fiction in regard to the fact this isn't all that happens. I get emails asking all the time "You and Mike are so perfect. You never seem to fight. What is the secret?" The Secret?! The secret is not blogging every time we don't agree on dinner or plans. I feel like when things get blogged, they undoubtedly get magnified. If I were to blog that we had a disagreement, someone out there would take that and spin it to make it sound like we were destined for failure. If you don't blog them, people exaggerate it and assume that you're just the epitome of perfection. There's a line and you have to decide where you stand as a blogger. 

I'm a life and style blogger. I blog about my life, and I blog about my style. It's fun, but that's not all I do. I've had anons take jabs at me saying "Why don't you get a real job? When you say you're working you're obviously just blogging." Actually no. Far from. At the end of the day it's my freelance design work that pays the bills (along with Mike's job). I don't often blog about a lot of my design work because it's not really all that relevant to LCH. I know that by not sharing this aspect of my life, I'm undoubtedly going to become the target of "You don't have a real job!" comments. Ultimately that leads to more emails about being a full time blogger. (While I consider blogging a full time job, I'm not sustained by my blog 100%. Not even close! (I wish!)) I've gone off on a tangent but my point is this: You have to decide what is worthy to go online. Just because you don't read it on someone's blog doesn't mean it's not there. And just because you do read something doesn't necessarily mean you should take it at face value.

At the end of the day we are all curated journals. Blogs aren't a "tell all" piece of work, or an unbiased/unedited look into people's lives. I choose not to blog pictures of me with a big ol pimple on my face... that doesn't mean I never get them! We choose pictures of ourselves that are the most flattering, we don't post the ones where we have a double chin or wonky eye. I think as a blog writer we have the obligation to present ourselves in a way that isn't overly dramatized. That doesn't mean blog all of your troubles, it just means don't act like they don't happen. Even if you don't want to tell the world you have them, don't claim you don't. As blog readers we have the obligation to read blogs with a certain understanding that what they're putting out there is edited. It's never the full story (and if it is, someone needs to get that blogger a filter!). Blogging is not the Big Brother house. Not everything needs to be broadcasted. 

I love having a positive blog. I love being told that my blog, among others, brings happiness to some readers. My blog will continue to be a place of positivity, but that doesn't mean my life with get any less stressful. (Seriously, if you want to know how I am 99% of the time, peep my twitter. That's where I get all of my rants out! :P) Moral of the story: Don't let other blogs make you feel inadequate because your life isn't all sunshine and skittles. Don't feel "less than" because you don't look as flawless all the time or because you and your boyfriend argue over the date night movie. All bloggers have these issues, even if they're not showing them!

If you're a blogger, do you ever feel the pressure to present a perfectly curated blog? If you're just a reader, do you take a blog at face value or do you keep in mind other circumstances that may not make it to the cutting board?

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Honest To Blog is a weekly free-writing series on LCH where I share my thoughts, feelings and frustrations with all of my readers. 100% unedited, unbiased, and sometimes unpopular, you can often find a boatload of typos just by glancing at it. Click here to read the rest of the series!

PS; I have been asked by multiple people if they could use the Honest To Blog series on their blog and I say go for it! Please just give an attribution link to me or my series, and be sure to leave a link for me to  check out in the comments! I'd love to read what you have to say!

PPS; I've been asked to write a post on how I stay positive so I'll try to get to that this next week!


  1. you have done it again kaelah! i was thinking of doing an honest to blog series but then i feel like you get inside my head and write down everything i was going to say (just saying it better than i probably would have)

    i feel like a LOT of the times i often think "alright, their life can't be THAT perfect...what's wrong?" and you're right, i find myself reading those blogs less and less. i definitely think that it's good to keep things positive but also, if you're going through a rough patch in life or wanting to get something off your chest, your blog is a great place to do that and often times you will get immense support from your readers about the situation and as a result, it really helps and makes you feel better about everything. it's amazing being able to share things with people from all over the world as everyone has a different outlook and to be able to get different views on a situation can really help :) this is what i've found from experience on my blog anyway.

    thank you...once again, for articulating a great honest to blog post! keep them coming, they're my favourite.

  2. I love this post!! I don't know about other bloggers, but for me, my choice to remain positive is pretty much rooted in the mean comments I received whenever I did a post about life's troubles. If you post that something bad happened to you, there are people who will enjoy kicking you when you're down. I know it's a silly reason not to talk about life's troubles, but honestly when you're sharing something that's really bothering you and someone leaves a nasty comment, it makes the whole thing like 100x worse! I'd rather just whine and complain to my friends, and save my blog for (mostly) cheerful stuff. Like you, anyone who follows me on twitter knows that my life isn't all fun and games, that sometimes I really hate my job and sometimes my cats get sick and I bawl about it. But I think blogs are just more sensitive to super mean commenters and I prefer to avoid that minefield as much as I can now :p

    ugh sorry for the super long comment again! lol

  3. another great post! I used to think other blogger's life were perfect and did feel a bit down about it every now and then, but at some point I started to understand, that a blog is just a tiny frame and part of a persons life. it would be impossible to limit a whole persons being to a blog. I love positive people and positive blogs inspire me a lot of the time. but every now and then, a negative post is totally fine. it just shows you're human and makes me sympathize with them. it's all about how it's mixed together! the most important thig is afterall, to be honest and "real" (sounds weird, but it's true)!

  4. I did a post about this a few weeks ago (shameless plug: http://sarahrooftops.blogspot.com/2011/10/as-is.html). It's received way more visits than anything else I've ever posted; I think people appreciate being reminded that bloggers are real people now and again. :)

  5. This is so true! I started my blog because I was also at a raw place & I want to show myself that there are a bunch of positive things that are going on in my life that just get overlooked because I get so overemotional about the bad stuff! I like that you're doing these honest to blog series, I don't really hang out with that many girls so when I hear you write something like this I feel like your personally talking to me about this, I can relate!
    xo Sarai

  6. After reading blogs for a few years, I'm now at the point where I don't really WANT to read blogs that are happy and sunshiney 100% of the time -- honestly, that's more DISCOURAGING to me because real life isn't like that. I sometimes get caught up in comparing myself to blogs like this and it does nothing but make me feel bad.

    I definitely think staying positive is necessary, but a dose of real life here and there always seems to make things more relatable.

    Also, as a blogger, I find those "real" posts more satisfying to write, also. I've been doing a series called "honesty time" on my blog for a long time now, and it is so much more cathartic (although sometimes scary!) to write, and it's 100x more satisfying to receive 10 comments from real girls saying "thank you for writing this" than 100 comments on an outfit post saying "cute dress!" It makes me feel a lot more connected to readers and I've had a lot of really great friendships grow out of these posts!

  7. logically, i can always think "nobody can be THAT perfect" but at the same time i can think "jeez, where have i gone wrong".

    I think it is easy to get bogged down when in comparison to others seemingly perfect lives but in the same light, it is also a little motivation. There is a nice balance and the best blogs are those that remain positive with some realism in there too - like your very own.

    you have highlighted it perfectly here! really love these honest to blog pieces.


  8. Totally agree. I love reading positive blogs but at the same time I think it's important to bear in mind that people might not want to flash their domestic issues all over the internet where everyone can see. And honestly if I read a blog where someone spends most of the time complaining that her boyfriends an idiot or that she's having self esteem issues frankly i'd click the x button and never return.



  9. At one point reading all these "positive" blogs made me wonder if there was something wrong with me. Why wasn't I always cheery and finding the good in bad situations? After a while I then realized that everyone is like me, and the blogs I read just knew the secret on making the bad look good.

    This post is great and I love how you're always so raw on the HTB posts. For me, the happy posts are always good......but sometimes it gets boring and predictable. I like the occasional rants, frustrations, and worries. It shows that I can relate to the blogger even more and that they do go through similar problems that we all thing we face alone.

  10. I've already mentioned this to you via tumblr, but I sort of think it takes guts to be a person who shows their real life on their blog. Of course we want to put our best face forward, and we want our blogs to be on the whole a positive and inspiring place to connect with others, but don't we also want to talk about real things? There is definitely a line. I would never blog about fights I have with Alex or my period [eeesh], but I think being able to say, 'this is what is happening in the blogging community right now, and it doesn't have to be this way' is IMPORTANT.

    There are two blogs in particular that I had to just stop reading because they were simply self-serving and vapid. They never talked about real things, and their lives just seemed like they were encased in plastic. At first they served as a reminder that my blog is a fledgling and will probably never be 'successful' [whatever that really means] but once that passed I was just underwhelmed. Underneath the professional photos and free clothes were regular people who had nothing interesting to talk about. And who wants to read that?

    I won't write this every week, I feel like an ultimate creep but also a total kiss-ass, but thanks for writing this. It's so refreshing to finally have found a blog that I love to read every day and who is a real living breathing person who shares OPINIONS.

    Lauren @ Sea Parrot

  11. "I feel like when things get blogged, they undoubtedly get magnified. If I were to blog that we had a disagreement, someone out there would take that and spin it to make it sound like we were destined for failure." This is so so true!! But also: I think when things get blogged, they get magnified in our own minds as well! I know that, if I complain out loud, I don't feel relief. I just feel more grumpy, and I keep adding "And another thing, now that I'm at it!!"

    At this point, I think I'm okay with other bloggers only presenting the good. I don't think they have to, but if they're just trying to avoid maybe getting complainy (as some of us are prone to do, once we start), then I'm inspired by that! I don't buy into the idea that they have a perfect life and I don't. I just figure they're simply choosing what they share wisely :)

  12. Sometimes I feel very disconnected from the blogger world because my life isn't anywhere near perfect. Not even close enough to portray it on my blog!! I wrote a truthful, heartfelt post and it only got a few comments and I lost two followers. While, yes, that's very discouraging...I'm still going to write those posts because that is who I am.

    Thank you for writing this, Kaelah. I love honest to blog! <3

  13. i left Danielle a similar comment, but I TOTALLY agree with everything you said.

    When I 1st started blogging, it did seem as if some of the blogs I read, had perfect lives... then I found more 'real' blogs, people that remind their readers their life is NOT perfect (ie, you + danielle) and I fell even more in love with blogging.

    There are so many woman out there just like me.

    I get a lot of similar questions like the ones you get about you and Mike. "you guys seem so perfect! How do you make it work?" Ughhh, I don't document every minor disagreement on facebook, twitter, blogger, etc. HELLO! We are human(s). No one is perfect!

    Rock On Kaelah :) You continue to inspire me daily!

  14. i really don't even like reading blogs that are positive all of the time, because they just come off as fake to me. like they are just trying WAY too hard.

    i blog about the good, and the bad. but i have a sarcastic personality and often try to give the negative stuff a bit of a humorous spin. i get emails from readers from time to time telling me how they enjoy reading because i seem 'real.' and that's what really makes me happy. :)

  15. Firstly, I love this blog series!
    Secondly, I too like to read positive blogs, but it is nice to be reminded sometimes, that the blogger is only human after all, and everyone has bad days right? I've written several 'Debbie Downer (fabulous expression btw)' posts, that I never published because they just seemed to whiny about problems that really weren't that huge, and I don't want to seem ungrateful about all the things that DO go right, if you know what I mean... It's a tough one. :/

  16. i've been feeling this a whole heck of a lot lately. that pressure i've having to seem so perfect, when i'd really just like to be honest. and how its such a crushing feeling when you see some of these bigger blogs and whole absolutely perfect their lives seem....i just you just have to realize, like you said, that 99% of it isn't broadcasted.

    thank you for giving me a bit of perspective. i love your honest to blog series, it reassures me that we're all still human...even if some of us seem to be more put together than others.

    you're amazing kaelah!

    xo. holly

  17. I don't know. To me, I guess it just depends on the blog. More often than not, I skim the writing and study the pics. And I suppose it's probably fair to say that the reason I do that IS because 90% of what's written has been read over, edited, and then read over some more. You know?

    And obviously the great thing about blogs is the ability to share ideas. Share fashion tips, blah blah blah. But if you have a story to tell that others can relate to, that's awesome. Or something that can enlighten someone. Whatever.

    I personally try not to really edit myself when I write on my blog. The only thing I have to make a conscious effort of is not to write a ton of curse words just because... when you speak that way it can flow, but in writing it looks really trashy. But anyway, that wasn't my point. haha. I write a lot about the difficult things going on in my life- mainly the immigration situation with my husband. Which is something I'm uncomfortable talking about because it's so dear to my heart, but it's something I really think people need to hear about. So I try not to edit myself.

  18. great post! my favorite blogs have a balance, when someone is posting about the crap in their life constantly, it becomes such a downer than you don't want to read it, but if it is completely positive you feel like they are leaving stuff out and being really fake. I struggle with it because most of my frustration is with my job, so i obviously don't want to post about that on the internet, that could get me into big trouble. I think this series is realy bringing that perfect balance so it feels like you are really giving something of yourself to your readers, but obviously not giving us everything.

  19. Hi Kaelah, I read Dani's post on Sometimes Sweet and loved seeing your post here following in the same vein. I recently published something very personal on my own blog, in an attempt to "show I was a real person with imperfections," but I was so uncomfortable leaving it up long term that I eventually took it down. What I realized is that if I chose to leave that post up forever, I would forever be viewed as the "keeper of the problem" I had blogged about. It's not that I want to always appear "perfect," but it does have to do with not allowing others' perceptions to become self-fulfilling prophecies. (If someone believes you to have a problem, they will constantly be looking for mention of said problem.)I believe that what you focus on increases in life and for me, it's more important to focus on the good stuff and not give airtime to the "not-so-good" stuff, even if it leads to an emphasis on the happy and a de-emphasis on the unhappy, because let's face it, I want all the happy in my life I can get! Anyway...this is a very long, rambling way to say I really liked your post! Keep up the good work ;)

  20. Also, I always find it interesting that when I post something serious and dear to me, I get far less comments than if I just post a picture of myself in something cute.

    And I'm so glad when people take the time to comment on my blog and I do the same so it's not fair for me to judge anyone, but...

    just an observation, I guess.

  21. this is such a great post, but really all of these honest to blog posts are. i love how real you are about things, it really helps put things into perspective, so thank you. so here are my thoughts on shiny, rainbows coming out of my ass 24/7 and is that truly real. i too started my blog for similar reasons, i wanted to share my happiness and have it show me, that MY life is perfect the way it is. that i should be happy with what i have and were i am going. i constantly am seeking new things to make me happy when in reality what i have is perfect and i should appreciate it. does this make sense? my blog is for me and if people enjoy it for what they find in it then that is super great! i think i may have written a couple posts that are a bit deby downerish but for me i don't want this place to be that for me. i already can look at the negative things in life and let them consume if i want and i don't want to feed that part of me anymore. my blog is a constant reminder to myself to look at life in a happier way and that we live once and to remember and embrace what makes me happy in life. but i do think that we all need to be a little more real sometimes and this is a perfect reminder that we should so again, thanks sweetie!

  22. in a way, the fact that i don't share the negative aspects of my life in my blog, kind of goes with the way i am in the 'real world' too, i don't like to share too much. which always isn't good, in real life, or in blogging world too. cause sometimes, as a reader, i do get the feeling that someone is a little bit fake when everything's so perfect (don't mean you!). and that makes you feel like the blogger is underestimating the reader, which is really not what you wanna do. i guess i almost always just blog about the good stuff. like, my dog passed away few months ago, first i thought about posting about it, like in her memory, about all the wonderful things about her, but then i didn't want to make people be all sorry for me. but now that it's not that recent anymore, i think a post about her would be kind of nice. maybe it's not too late yet.

    thanks' for the awesome blog, even tho i am a quite new reader, i've fallen very much in love with your blog.

    Stu of Sometimes my life is like Bob Dylan's 115th dream.

  23. I still think that not only what bloggers write can leave us - readers, feeling drained and discouraged; it is also the images they show. Because visuals communicate so much, we still get the shot of "holy shit I wish I had that" by just a picture. I wish I had a wig that doesn't smell like burned. And you know it. Every girl knows this because we grew up looking at fashion magazines with the skinny models. And to be honest I felt the same shot when I saw the photos of your bedroom. Not that I didn't believe that you actually keep the typewriter next to the bed all the time, I do. I used to live in a house like that before, it is so much damn fun to have a dream-like place, but as I read the comments that people leave for you, sometimes, I get drained. Everyone wants your wardrobe. I totally get why you show it, you're proud of it as much as a mug collector, only that there are more girls wanting a wardrobe than a mug collector. You know what I mean? I truly think you are unique in your way and you try to stay true, but you still sometimes leave us drained thinking, I wish I had the time and the mood to dress up like it's tea time every day. I am not saying, Kaelah, show us your pimples, but I often wonder how in the world do you manage to do so much laundry? Or, how much do you spend on dry clean? And because I don't see that other side of the picture, I just think it's got to be fake.

    This comment it's not intended to criticize YOU, I just wanted to give my opinion on how photos create the same effect on us when it comes to compare the broadcast life with our realities.

    I love your talent on color and design Kaelah, but I don't read you for the lifestyle. I find you inspiring in an artist-way, not in a consumerism way and to me, still, a lot of your posts are consumer related.

  24. I love this series! "Curated journal"... perfectly put!

  25. This post touches on one of the things I struggle most with in the blogging world.
    As a blogger, it's difficult to know where the line between being real and being negative is drawn. This past year has been an extremely stressful one, and I feel like I simply don't have enough positivity to write about. I don't, however, want my blog to become a negative place. I'm so inspired by all of the positive, optimistic blogs that I read, such as yours, but I unfortunately don't know how to keep all of the negativity out of my own. I never want my blog to sound like I'm complaining in every post.

    As a reader, I've noticed just how inadequate some of my favorite blogs can make me feel. I know how extremely sad that is to say, and I know that thst is not the intention of any blogger. But as I mentioned before, my life has been awfully difficult over the past year, especially financially, and it's hard to keep my head up. I oftentimes feel like other bloggers' lives are ever-so perfect, and they can afford new clothes, nice cameras, trips to new places, etc...and boy, it can be discouraging.
    It's nice to see someone being real about this, for a change.

    Well done, Kaelah!

  26. Well-written as always! It's been interesting to me how certain topics float around the blogosphere at certain times. I agree that "honest" blogs that remind us that we're all human are really my favorite. Learning more about a person, flaws and all, makes this whole experience all the richer, just as in "real" life.

    At the risk of being spammy (I usually don't post links) I kind of touched on this in a recent post - http://tomakelovestay.blogspot.com/2011/11/honestly-honest.html :) Have a great Sunday lady, and keep these coming!

  27. Such a great post! I tend to "edit" my blog's material a lot. I don't like to complain in my real life and I don't want to put that out on my blog.

    That being said, if something bad happens in my life or if I am frustrated, I do talk about it...but with a positive spin. I am not one to dwell, so if I am depressed over something in my life, I feel that blogging about it is just another way of dwelling on the situation.

    Either way, I love to read blogs that are honest. The ones that are too perfect do turn me off. Your blog is a fantastic mix of the two :).

  28. At the end of the day, we all blog for different reasons and in different ways. In my opinion, a blog should be a balance between positivity and realism, but if someone wants to use their blog as a gritty journal -- or as a fake fairytale -- I say go for it! I just might not be reading it. ;) I've gotten complaints about my blog being too personal, and at the same time, have gotten complaints about it not being personal enough! At the end of the day, it's MY blog and I know I can't please everybody!

  29. just amazing.

    admittedly i do take 7471792 photos of myself until i get a perfect angle, meaning no double chin, no blemishes and such.

    keep them coming!!


  30. yeah girl, I admire your candid words. Part of what is endearing about personal blogs is that they are a portrait of someone's life, ups and downs included and we outsiders get to share in that journey. A single faceted view just falls flat over time.

  31. It is very inspiring to see you blogging honestly. I have blogger friends telling me to hide my flaws on the internet and show only the good part, I do still think that is being dishonest.

    So thank you for writing this post!

    Cutebun FB page

  32. Another great Honest to Blog! I totally agree, it's not about putting on a happy face, but being yourself.

    I just want to read blogs from people who are REAL and you can always spot the fakers in the end. No one has the perfect life and pretending to will only make others resent you.

    Much love to you pretty lady.


  33. as a blogger, i don't necessarily feel pressure to be happy 100% of the time... more so to blog about "popular" topics. but that's another story...

    as a blog READER, however, i feel pressure.

    as much as i love reading about the cutest diy's, and seeing the most perfect outfits, and baking the most perfect chocolate pomegranate cupcakes... sometimes when i open my google reader, i feel bombarded. i feel inadequate next to all these amazing ladies who seemingly have all the time in the world to devote to being the perfect baker/ fashionista/ home remodler, etc.

  34. I like reading positive blogs. However,I do sort of feel inadequate compared to those blogs and people. You're right when you said you have to draw the line. However,I feel like if I were to post real life things then I might come across as complain-y,and that might turn into something else that's bothering me,and then something else,etc. And I don't want to be perceived like that. I might talk about something that's bothering me,and in the same sentence,try to say something positive about the issue. I might have been off-topic here,but you get the point,right?

  35. @Anahelo: I *totally* get what you're saying. But in situations like that, you have to ask yourself if your feelings are actually a result of the person posting something, or your inner feelings. I think about this all of the time. Someone might post something and I instantly feel a pang of jealousy, but that's not because that person doesn't deserve what they have/got/did, it's because I want it myself. I always try to make sure and "check" myself when I feel this way. Posting my wardrobe made me feel proud of all the hard work we put into it, and it wasn't meant to be flashy or braggy. Some wil see it that way, but you have to ask if that was the *intention*, or if that was the *interpretation*. Intention lies within the poster, interpretation lies within the audience, get what I'm saying? I definitely read things or see things and think "Ugh, she's just full of herself!" but usually it's an inside force making me interpret it that way. When in reality she was just proud of something she did and I took it too far. We all have those moments! It's important to recognize them and not let them get the best of us! <3

    @Amber St. Clare: I totally get you! Yes, absolutely. No one wants to come off like a negative nancy all the time! I'm all for not blogging bad things at all myself! It's just a matter of making sure you let your readers know that you're not without fault or trouble. Doesn't mean you have to tell them what/specifics! :D

  36. i for one actually prefer to read blogs where people share both positive and negative, or real, parts of their lives. i do like going to happy blogs of course, but i love sharing with someone who is down and helping them feel better, or listening if someone has had a bad day, and if they dont blog it, then i dont get that chance. then again, lots of my close blog friends will email me instead and chat about that stuff.

    i definitely dont agree with airing your 'fights' with the other half on the blog, thats just rude. i think if you cant deal with it at home, there is your big problem.

    good post again! :D

  37. You, madam, have done it again. You have so eliquently put into words what I feel a lot of the time. How do you keep doing this? Hhaha. I try not to post about most of the negatives in my life, because right now they all center around my job... and even then I am limited on what I can and cannot say to the public (god I can't wait to get home and get back to the boring life I lived before I left the states). That is why I try to post happier posts.... I honestly hope that my blog doesn't seem like the ones you talk about here... O.o. I know my life is all sunshine and skittles, as you put it... hehe, but I like sharing the happy things and all that. I try not to focus on the bad things and try not to share them with you all.... but maybe I should share them sometimes. You've given me something else to think about. Thank you once again. :D

    Happy Monday
    <3 Jenn

  38. i don't tend to be completely honest all of the time on my blog BUT today I did an honest to blog post (http://vickiyb.blogspot.com/2011/11/online-personashonest-to-blog.html) and I have to say - i'm glad that I did. Sometimes you have to stand up and be counted. I like reading your blog, simply because if you're having a bad day you can say that you are but at the same time you don't bog your blog down with it..... you definitely have the right balance!!!

  39. I really appreciate this post. I just recently started blogging and have spent a fair amount of time thinking about what to put out into the world about myself. Once upon a time when I used livejournal, I would post anything and everything that was on my mind, and I feel like it ended up as a dumping ground for my negative thoughts. That's why when I'm writing in my current blog, I've decided to focus on the positive. It's like a diary for the pretty, fun, and happy times in my life. That said, I won't stop myself from posting about less-wonderful happenings. I just try to do what you said: find the positive in all situations. Doing that is so, so terribly hard for a natural pessimist like me, but having a blog and wanting to keep things fairly positive in my posts is actually helping me learn to be positive in my day to day life.

  40. new to your blog but i absolutely adore this. this whole "honest to blog" is perfection. especially anything that quotes juno.
    xo TJ

  41. Can I get an AMEN?! Girl, these posts are amazing and I really think they give a new (and very valuable!) dimension to your blog.

    Honestly, I took a big step away from blogging -- partially because I didn't have the time for it -- and also because I found myself feeling negatively about it, for a lot of the reasons you've talked about. When you find all these excellent blogs run by amazing/cute/fashionable ladies you admire, it can get to a point where you compare yourself unfairly. Problem is, you're you and you know/see all the negatives in your own life, but not their's. I really think comparing in the blog world is a disease... we can't help but compare ourselves to fellow bloggers, but it's so wrong to when we're basing our ideas of their lives on edited content.

    While we can't create a blogging world where EVERYONE shares the odd less-than-perfect side, we can at least try to remind ourselves that these imperfections likely exist. And thanks to your post, we all just got a little reminder. :)

  42. Thank you thank you thank you. I love your Honest to Blog series, but this post hits it out of the park for me. For me, it's a mix of wanting that "magical blogging life" that others seem to have (that isn't necessarily unrealistic, but just not the whole story) and staying positive. I made it a point to stop getting so stressed and down on myself and to let my blog be a positive place, but sometimes the most positive idea is the one that acknowledges the hard times and shines a happier (yet realistic) light on them. So thank you for reminding me of this :)

  43. As a blog reader I do sometimes feel a little frustrated when people's lives look so perfect, but I always remind myself that I am not their friend IRL. They aren't going to confide in me when they have a spat with their significant other, or spill their guts about their family drama. Life always has it's bumps in the road no matter who you are and what you do.

    Complaining about your problems ALL the time on your blog is unnecessary and putting yourself out there like that can only bring more problems, but I do believe in having some sense of transparency. As a blogger I actually DO post ugly photos of myself because that's part of my sense of humor. I think it's funny how bad I look sometimes so I post photos to get a laugh every now and then. I talk about SOME frustrations and fears, but there are some things that are not meant for the internet. My fights with my boyfriend for example. More often than not I keep those details away from even my closest friends because it's between the two of us. For people to assume that means we NEVER fight or that we are perfect is absurd to me. Having a blog does not mean you are obligated to share everything about your life or personality.

    I don't think your blog is too fakey happy like some people's and I definitely don't think you are a Debbie Downer. The way you write your honest to blog posts is more empowering than downer so carry on! We like hearing your opinion :)

  44. You hit the nail on the head every time with these features, Kaelah! Thank you so much for this post.

    I have struggled with finding a balance in this respect. Recently, for about two months, I had to take a break from blogging because I was going through a really difficult time and couldn't maintain a truthful depiction of my life on the blog without airing all the crap I was experiencing. It didn't feel right talking about shoes and cute dresses when I wanted to innappropriately vent about personal issues! Hah! Your attitude is awesome and just keep doing what you're doing because I enjoy your blog so much.

  45. To this point I'm focused on topic of a Doble Chin, more precisely getting rid of a Double Chin without surgery, so without any side effects, just with exercises and yes it can be done, if you don't cheat in exercises, because that way you cheat only yourself guys.


HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB