// Starburst

Starburst - Kaelah Bee
Unpopular things to say on your own blog: "I feel stuck." I don't know if "stuck" is the right word to use, but we're using it for the sake of the conversation. Being open and honest about that is really weird and it makes me feel really exposed in a way. No one wants to feel like they're a stranger in their own space ya know? I know it's probably just a funk, and I'll ride out the wave, but I don't think this sort of thing gets discussed a lot. Surely I'm not the only one who feels that way right? I think we all go through these lulls with our creative endeavors and sometimes it's hard to feel fulfilled 100% of the time. I don't have any plans to leave the blog or anything, but it does make me feel more pressure to make some changes. I've been talking (very vaguely) about changes for months and months now, but I just haven't managed to work out the details yet. If we're being totally honest here: I haven't found a way to really balance my content. I love sharing outfits, even if they're not unique or inspiring (I like what I like haha). I love sharing DIYs and tutorials, but it seems only the "(too) simple" things make waves (Hey! I like the easy route, too!). I love sharing things about Toby and being a mom, but I don't want to teeter too far into mommy-blog territory (and I never want to exploit him for pageviews). I think personal blogs are sort of weird territory. How much is enough, and how much is too much? I get bored thinking of my own blog sometimes and that's kind of the worst thing ever haha! (And I can't believe I'm admitting that, but ya know...)
Starburst - Kaelah Bee
Starburst - Kaelah Bee
I honestly think a lot of this has come about in my sort of semi-quarter-life crisis that's going on. Then again I have one of those like every few months! haha It's not just the blog that has me sort of singing the blues. Mike and I have really been trying to hammer out what it is we see ourselves doing in the long run, and how we plan on achieving that. I know I shouldn't harp on myself so hard for not being "there" yet (wherever the heck "there" is!) but sometimes I really get into that mood where I want to get busy living. One day I'll feel so adult and think I have it all together, then the next day I'm convinced I'm a 12 year old in a 25 year old's body. I think that's an honest struggle for a lot of self employed people. Trying to have faith in your vision and really investing it in to see you through the times is tough. Oftentimes it's so much easier to just look at what everyone else is doing and say "Huh, why can't that work for me?" I've started writing multiple blog posts on this sort of "mindset" and hopefully one day soon I'll finish them. I think it's a great conversation to have and I'm convinced that so many people out there can relate. I know what I need to do to really put the pep back in my step, but it's like I keep hitting that virtual brick wall. The only way to work through it is to just slowly chip away at it. I think a nice little day drive or adventure is in store for me to clear my head. I'm basically waxing poetic about a blog... what is my life?!
Starburst - Kaelah Bee
This outfit looks familiar huh? (Not unlike all of my other dress + cardigan combos haha They're basically indistinguishable from one another.) Here I am rocking the same dress from here and here, but with some different colors thrown in. Maybe it's a safety thing, but I feel so comfortable in these outfits. This JCP dress (along with the purple one) are seriously the best things to pair with my bright colored cardigans. I instantly feel put together and classy enough to go in almost anywhere, but I'm also so confident and comfortable (and I still feel modest/covered up).

Today I'm planning on getting my hands dirty by building some photo props with Mike. I've spent the past few days trying to catch up with life after being out of pocket all last week, and I think some sunshine is just what I need. If you've got the answers for all of my life questions, I'm all ears! ;)

Studio One dress via JCPenney
Worthington cardigan via JCPenney
Coral necklace c/o LuLu*s
Maja bag via Little Black Bag
Target flats

34 comments:

  1. I love that you're so honest, Kaelah! I've only been blogging for three months, and I have this happen to me.. should I post more "personal" things, or just keep going with my "inspirational" content, how personal is too personal, where do you draw the line?! Some days, I want to just pull down the entire thing and start from scratch, and other times, I just love everything and am so happy with the world.. blogging is a strange world!

    But just know that we all love you, and even with changes, will still support you and come read your blog because you're amazing! <3
    xx Johanna

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  2. LOVE LOVE LOVE that dress on you. The color combo is wonderful. I feel ya on the "stuck" thing. The difference I guess is that I don't have many blog readers. I don't feel the same kind of pressure, because I'm basically just writing mine like a journal. For what it's worth, yours is one of maybe 2 or 3 blogs that I've kept reading consistently. There are many others that I get bored with. That's not to say they are bad blogs, it's just that yours is more varied and plus I love your TiLT posts :)

    Also you're a pretty awesome lady, so that makes me want to keep coming back to read more!

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  3. I have been there. If I'm honest I'm just on my way out. I wrote about something similar not long ago (this post http://www.sparklecollective.com/lost-in-darkness/). I think when life is happening and you feel a change is needed but you are making slow progress you end up feeling a little burnt out.You have a lot going on. Take some time to figure out what's next and don't feel like you need all the answers now. I'll also leave this post I wrote about overcoming burnout. This is really how I got through http://www.sparklecollective.com/

    And I don't think it's just your age. I'm on the cusp of 30 and sometimes I still feel 12.

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  4. I have been there. If I'm honest I'm just on my way out. I wrote about something similar not long ago (this post http://www.sparklecollective.com/lost-in-darkness/). I think when life is happening and you feel a change is needed but you are making slow progress you end up feeling a little burnt out.You have a lot going on. Take some time to figure out what's next and don't feel like you need all the answers now. I'll also leave this post I wrote about overcoming burnout. This is really how I got through http://www.sparklecollective.com/

    And I don't think it's just your age. I'm on the cusp of 30 and sometimes I still feel 12.

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  5. I totally know what you mean. I have a personal blog about my struggles with depression and chronic pain (never thought at 29 I'd have a "sick person blog". I know I help people and that's the reason I share so much. I also hate it because I feel vulnerable and inconsistent. Some days I write positive things, other days I swing down to the bluest of blue sayings.

    I seriously haven't started my life at all (other than being married and having a house with my husband). My illnesses have basically stunted my growth so far. I have little vision most days and then one or two days where I am full of ideas of what I want to do/have my life to be. I even bought an expensive website to use as my "positive/artist/healthy human being" blog, but have yet to do a damn thing with it.

    I think we all struggle with content and what to say. Not just in the virtual world, but in our daily lives. I feel like people are pressured into thinking that we can't say too much, be totally honest, and that if we were everyone would think we were really freaking weird. The thing is, the more I open up, the more I realize we are all weird-o. I also think in blogging especially, we want to have a brand, have an expected theme, have something we feel comfortable with.

    I think the hardest part is tacking down what we want to say. It moves invariably forward and backward for me. I am so torn about what and how and when and if to say something, that I often don't even write a post.

    I am encouraged by everyone to make a life for myself, to overcome the things that have and are happening in my life. But many days I hit the brick wall, like you said, and I end up becoming a pouty child rather than doing anything about it.

    Your blog is my absolute favorite. We are very different, but I just love your posts. I hope you find the right balance for you, I think, as you said, chipping away at the brick wall is the way to go. We always want to jump over it, but usually end up crashing into it and getting cuts and bruises. It's one of those baby steps kind of things. Most of life has to be even and measured, even though I love rushing forward in my mind to great heights, only to realize I spent the entire afternoon daydreaming.

    Anyway, this is totally too long, and I don't know if I said anything meaningful. Do what you need to do KB, take things slow, who knows what's coming next.

    xx, C

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  6. Dear Kaelah,

    I really love your blog. :) I don't read it for a long time and from that "distant" view, here are a some things that come to my mind when I read this entry:

    1. I don't know if you are already active, but sport could DEFINITELY help. I started running 6 years ago and I'm always amazed about how it helps me to deal the things that trouble me. (Also, I quit sometimes for a few weeks and it makes EVERYTHING better when I go back to routine.)

    2. Do you always work from home? With no one around except of Mike and Toby? I think that could be also a reason, because you would probably be happier working in an office with a lot of people around you. I know you're shy (you say so), but I have also the feeling that you like to surround yourself with people you like and that could maybe inspire you also. Maybe.. that would mean to cut the blog down (what would me really sad, but I want you to be happy!).

    So, just my 2 cents. :)
    Greetings from Germany!
    Xoxo Noemi

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  7. I'm sorry that you are feeling funky! As a reader, I love your outfit posts...I love how you weave in tidbits about Mike, Toby, y'alls photography and other business ventures, travels, day to day living, beauty recommendations, etc. I have always felt like it is the perfect blend of topics- that is why your blog is the first one of this kind I have gotten into, and it's still my favorite. Good luck hammering out where you're heading! Personally, I hope your style doesn't change too much!

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  8. I adore the colour of your dress!
    I hope you figure things out with your blog and more generally soon - I totally feel you on feeling like a 12-year-old stuck in an adult's body, though. So overwhelming sometimes!

    Jess xo

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  9. That pesky feeling doesnt go away if you aren't self employed. In fact you just sit around all day dreaming of all the things your rather be doing than working away. Sadly there are bills to pay and not enough hours in the day to really make something out of your hobbies. I don't think I'll ever really get "there" myself unless I move from this place. All work and no play is the culture here and heaven forbid you even take a day for yourself. That is if you stand a weeks worth of "the eye" from everyone.

    Hope you muddle through this feeling though! your blogs one of my favs!

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  10. Kaelah, I'm always so jealous of how great the content is on your blog, and while your "uniform" of dresses and cardigans feels repetitive to you, I still eat up every single outfit post. Your DIY/creativity is awesome, and you're a great mom.

    When you feel like this, just hop on over to my blog of randomness. I write about nothing and everything, and it's a hot mess most of the time. Restaurant reviews, shopping posts, travel, CATS... I've never found my niche and now I'm not sure I ever will. But I love the catharsis nonetheless.

    xoxo!

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  11. you know when people say that admitting you have a problem is the first step? well i think that means that things only go up from here for you! i actually just started blogging again after an accidental month off. i really needed to think about where i wanted to go with my blog (even though it's a small site + i don't blog super often anyway) and i even stopped reading blogs to make sure my content wasn't being affected by things that everyone else was posting.

    i feel a lot more inspired now and really ready to pursue the next chapter in my life. you are even a pretty big source of encouragement since i dream of running my own handmade business someday soon! it's always hard to so clearly see where you want to be instead of enjoying all you have already done and worked for. we can't overhaul our lives in one day but we can do little things every day that add up and get us to where we wanna be! i have faith that you will make whatever you desire happen for you and i will be on the sidelines cheering along with you (or listening to your woes over a glass of wine<3) -jenna

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  12. You are awesome for writing this! We all go through this, and anyone who says differently is a liar. And don't get down on yourself for the dress + cardigan combo. You always look put together, and it's not a bad thing to know what works for you. I think a lot of people are very into your voice, and that's what keeps them coming back. You're unique from most fashion bloggers in that you're a great writer, and always very honest with us. You've really found a way to let your readers get to know your personality and a little bit (but not too much) about your life. It makes us feel like we're friends with you, and that is awesome! People will keep reading no matter what direction you decide to go in! You have so much time to figure things out, so don't sweat it too much. Just enjoy the ride. xoxo, Erin

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  13. I can completely understand where you are coming from! I will be turning 25 in November and I cannot tell you how many times I go from feeling "grown up" to feeling like my head is spinning and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I have goals, but they seem so far off and scary sometimes so I can easily lose focus. I'm sure you will figure it all out and make this blog exactly what you want!!

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  14. I feel the same way! Believe me, feeling younger than you are happens at every age. I'm 31, almost 32, and some days I still feel 14. And I am still figuring it out, and that's ok. I sometimes feel hey, why am I not done with my degree yet like the other people my age? Usually it is when I am knee deep in homework and frustrated. Or why can't I spend more time on my side business that I love and work that full time instead of being a secretary? It happens. You are doing awesome! Just make sure you are doing what you want to do, and not what you think you should be doing and you'll be ok.

    Sar

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  15. You look great. I totally understand the whole crisis over "sharing" because sometimes too-much exposure can lead to negativity...or some more loveliness such as GOMI. Sometimes you think you're on the right path and amen to the steering away from the "mommy blog" scenario, not that there's anything wrong with that...it's just not a niche that I see you in. Just keep being your RAD self and everything will fall into place. Don't forget...you have an awesome new project coming up soon! LOL xxooo

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  16. Love the yellow and teal combo!

    Blogs are sometimes the best outlet for feelings, yeah? More power to you for honesty. It doesn't bother me when I read a blog that feels like there is a "front", but it is a totally different feel.

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  17. Quit your whining, Mona! Oh, wait...that's me! ;) You should just share what you love and let your blog evolve naturally with you. Don't give yourself too many rules. Whether or not you like the idea of a personal blog, your kind-of is already. That's one of the reasons I read it. I like to know other people are experience similar ups and downs to my own, not just sunshine and rainbows most people put online. Good luck!

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  18. i have issues with getting stuck on my blog too. what to share, what not to share. i think that you just share what feels right to you in the moment and to heck with readers. they will love you for you, not necessarily the specific content of each and every post. only you worry about ratios and sharing too much or too little. readers are just reading! :)
    kw ladies in navy
    $75 Anthropologie Giveaway

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  19. I know exaaaactly what you mean! I've only really just started blogging and I'm doing alright for my first month, but I always feel like "what's TOO personal?" "what's too generic?" "what's my niche?" "Am I copying other people?" I find myself really agonizing over it!

    If you find the secret to getting past it, let us all know! Because I think many of us are in the exact same boat!

    Elyse @ Cuddly as a Cactus

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  20. Love your post!!I know exactly what you mean!! I am 34 and just quit my job, I have no idea what life is gonna bring now.... and it is so scary.
    But I am just trying to focus on the positive things- which is NOT easy at times. I know it sounds silly but it is so nice to know that I am not the only one feeling "blue". Hopefully everything will work out for us:)

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  21. I love this outfit! It may look similar to some others you've shared, but it's damn cute, so who cares? Sorry to hear you've been in a bit of a slump lately! I've been verging towards slump territory, too. I'm 90% sure that in my case it's just the effects of the dwindling daylight hours. I always underestimate how crummy it is for my productivity. Now that I've recognized that that's what's happening, I'm working on a plan to combat it as best as I can. Good luck de-slumping!

    -Becca
    Ladyface Blog

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  22. You are just adorable, and I think you're awesome and inspiring. Come see me again soon! <3

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  23. I really think it's super natural to feel like you are bored with a blog. I do it every few months. Sometimes I get all bent out of shape because my blog doesn't fall into a particular category....I really don't fit in an easy to market box. Sometimes I get all hung up on this [I am not a fashion blogger...I am not a wheelchair blogger....I am not a pinterest fodder blogger....I am not a mommy blogger...I am not a foodie...so what am I?] Just when I start to feel totally stressed about it, someone will come forward and tell me that is precisely what they love about my blog...that the connective tissue throughout every post is that its mine.

    I kinds feel the same can be said about Little Chief Honeybee. It screams Kaylah. People read your blog, because they like you and care about your views on things. Know that you are totes not alone. We all get in a hole about our blog sometimes. I know I will write something I am SUPER proud of and no one will comment or the views will be lower than normal and I will kinda throw my hands up in the air. Even this post, which you see as a throwaway about feeling stuck is important and carries a valid message to us other bloggers...that we are not alone when we have these feelings!

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  24. It's hard to find just the right balance with a personal blog....and when you step away and look at it, what we do seems like a very strange thing!!
    You look lovely, as always!

    The Random Writings of Rachel

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  25. Girl, keep your chin up! You just the best trip to Vegas, right?! Sometimes you need to get away from blog stuff and do something that inspires you. Take a trip to an inspiring-place, talking to someone you admire. It may be life-altering. Sometimes I get stuck but then I'll be talking to someone or watching something on tv (or browsing Pinterest haha!) and an idea will slap me in the face. Just read some good quotes, have some family time, and focus on you. The rest will come. You're too talented. :)

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

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  26. I think we all have those types of thoughts and feelings at some point, I know I've totally been there more than once! The thing is, any good blog written by a single person is going to be a representation of that person - and it's hard to box yourself into a single niche or interest, because most people aren't just one thing. (And they'd be damned boring people if they were.)

    Write & do what resonates with you - "your people" will follow you, and the parts of your blog that interest them, and the ones who don't get it will get offboard. It's better to be a random mix of cool semi-unrelated things that you're really into than some cookie cutter bland box.

    P.S. I'm so glad I got to see you at MAGIC!! I hope you had an excellent time! It was my first time too and such a whirlwind, but still a good experience!

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  27. I think we all have those types of thoughts and feelings at some point, I know I've totally been there more than once! The thing is, any good blog written by a single person is going to be a representation of that person - and it's hard to box yourself into a single niche or interest, because most people aren't just one thing. (And they'd be damned boring people if they were.)

    Write & do what resonates with you - "your people" will follow you, and the parts of your blog that interest them, and the ones who don't get it will get offboard. It's better to be a random mix of cool semi-unrelated things that you're really into than some cookie cutter bland box.

    P.S. I'm so glad I got to see you at MAGIC!! I hope you had an excellent time! It was my first time too and such a whirlwind, but still a good experience!

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  28. I love how honest you are! And I can totally relate. I know I'm *SO* new with blogging still but the entire month of July I was just..... well as you said, stuck. I have all these ideas and goals and I'm just like "If I had no own place, I could get to many things done that I can't do here at my parents." But right now, that isn't realistic for me and it wasn't until about a week ago that I was just walking around blogging blindfolded, not really knowing whats going on or what to do with myself.

    You always look lovely and I have full faith in you that you'll get inspired and unstuck again! I feel like fall is very inspirational personally. :)

    x Sara from tinysugarbee.blogspot.com

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  29. Personal blogs are always difficult and that is why a lot of people avoid them because there are no boundaries, you set your own so you're responsible for what you share and what you don't. Yet there will always be people who want more, or who are unsatisfied and that can take a tole on yourself as a blogger.

    I think it's natural to become unmotivated or stuck with regards to certain things, especially blogging. Progression is necessary, but it's often a case of finding the right things to talk about without feeling forced. It's a lot of hard work and I'm sure you'll get there, I'm sure we all will one day. The same goes for what you want to do in life, I'm definitely having a life crisis and I'm only 20, ha. I don't think it's something that ever goes away though. I'd be interested to read some other posts about the mindsets you mentioned. I sometimes find those posts to be the most refreshing! x

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  30. i can totally relate. i think too many bloggers have the tendency to create an unrealistic picture of their life, making the rest of us feel inadequate. one of the reasons why i enjoy reading your blog is because of your honesty. one of the best pieces of advice that i got from a self-help book is "do it for yourself and not to impress other people". it's probably one of the most simplest advice ive ever gotten but it's so true.
    and btw, i love your outfits that you post. it's what makes you you.

    much love,
    kristin marie

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  31. I think like most commenters above, I can really relate to your feeling of being 'stuck'. It's good to open up and talk about the feelings, sometimes that helps to see your life more clearly =) good luck!

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  32. I always think your blog as one of the most real and honest blogs out there. I guess you are on the right path for your blog. I am 32 years old and I have struggles with life. And now in this part of my life I realize I was always treating myself bad for thinking only about things I did not get done and kind of stagger the life by holding on to the never ending future plans. But the truth is, we have to stop and think what we have achieved so far to see what we are and feel confident to do what makes us happy , "count your blessings" as they say. As I say you are on the right path, you are a designer, a successful blogger, a crafty person and a mother. just the things you have done for Toby should be enough to feel OK about yourself.

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  33. Your honesty and your willingness to be who you are (as opposed to posting outfits you wouldn't actually wear, for example) are the main reasons why I love you. I love what you share and who you are.

    I get these feelings about once a year. I had them even before I had a blog (and back then it always centered around 'am I doing what really I love?' type questions).

    For me it all goes back to refocusing, passion, and purpose while keeping a clear view of who I am, my limitations, and what genuinely satisfies me.

    I know you will figure this out. You got this.

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  34. Your honesty and your willingness to be who you are (as opposed to posting outfits you wouldn't actually wear, for example) are the main reasons why I love you. I love what you share and who you are.

    I get these feelings about once a year. I had them even before I had a blog (and back then it always centered around 'am I doing what really I love?' type questions).

    For me it all goes back to refocusing, passion, and purpose while keeping a clear view of who I am, my limitations, and what genuinely satisfies me.

    I know you will figure this out. You got this.

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HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB