// Music City Doulas + How I Chose My Doula Path

Music City Doulas, Nashville Doula Agency - Kaelah Flynn
So I hinted to some pretty big news on social media last week... and now I can finally share what it was all about! But first you're going to get the really long backstory. Ever since I started down the doula path, I've found myself so incredibly inspired by the women (and few men!) around me. I used to think the idea of a doula was hokey and just a fad. I thought doulas were only for the crunchy moms who wouldn't touch an epidural with a ten foot pole. I had all of the ideas and images conjured up in my mind about doulas in general, but the truth of the matter was I really had no idea at all.

When I was pregnant with Linden, I remember my OB asking me what my "birth plan" was. My answer? "Epidural." I was so sure of myself. I was terrified at what labor and delivery meant. I didn't want to see the videos, I didn't want to see the pictures, and most of all, I really didn't want to see ME, down there, as it happened! I just made myself admit there was a baby inside of me and he had to come out some way or another. Whatever way that was, I was just along for the ride. Seriously y'all, if you had the faintest idea at how mainstream, anti-crunchy, willfully ignorant (and I'm not using those as synonyms, I promise) I was, you'd think this whole thing is absolutely ridiculous. I felt like the anti-doula-client, you know what I mean? The funny thing about that is I would have made a wonderful doula client. C-section, Epidural, Natural, Water, Hospital, Home births. That is what doulas do. Doulas give every single type of client the very same compassionate, non-judgmental support. 

The true reason I felt the desire to pursue doula work was my realization at how much I could have really used that very same consistent, non-judgmental support. I struggled so hard after Linden was born. So hard. I cry every time I think about how "rough" I felt we had it. I know every journey is different, but I really started to feel somewhat "cheated" by my postpartum experience, and that was such a heavy, unnecessary burden to bear. The truth is that I had a wonderful support network around me after Linden was born, but they all had such personal attachments to our situation. What I needed was someone who would be able to give me non-biased, evidence based information. Someone who could help talk me through things, and navigate postpartum. I needed someone who would just keep their dadgum opinion to themselves! Every part of my support team had an opinion about everything. Breast vs. bottle. Co-sleeping vs. crib. Baby wearing vs. Being more "hands off". Attachment soothing vs. Cry-It-Out. I just needed someone who could keep their friggin mouth shut. Haha Maybe that sounds harsh or weird, but I'm betting several of you can agree with me there.

That's right when I recognized that I could have benefitted from a doula, and I was heartbroken that I had scoffed the idea of something that could have possibly changed our story. After that I started to realize just how many mothers I knew personally who could have benefitted from the exact same support. I felt the desire to educate other expectant parents on the choices and support out there. Enter: the local doula community and ProDoula. 

I first joined a few doula groups on Facebook just to see what it was all about. After a while I started to recognize familiar names and faces. Over a short while I became so invested in their success - regardless of whether they lived in the next town over or in Alaska. I started to see how supportive they were of one another. It was really inspiring to be able to cheer people on not only in their doula wins, but their personal victories as well. Something I started to realize they all had in common was ProDoula. ProDoula is a certifying organization, and when I learned about their business model, I knew it was the right choice for me. I loved their belief that someone can do something they love while earning a living to help support their family. Their mission to help elevate the roles of doulas really makes me think highly of them, too. A doula should always practice within scope, respect the care providers around them, and focus on serving the family in the best way they know how.  It sounded like exactly the kind of doula I would have wanted, and the kind of doula I would want to be. Anyway, after learning more I vowed to get to a workshop and see for myself. At worst, I'm out a few hundred bucks and an afternoon or two. But at best (and spoiler alert: this is totally what happened), I find something I can be so passionate about; helping others in their most life-changing time, all the while helping myself "heal" from my own experience. 
Music City Doulas, Nashville Doula Agency
All of this happened through the early Summer, but when it came time for the labor training in Nashville, I dragged my feet. I made excuses, said I'd "try", but then just brushed it off. Workshop time came around and "stuff came up" so I never registered. I knew right after that I had made the wrong decision. It was almost instantaneous. While I couldn't go back in time and take the workshop, I started reading more about postpartum doula work. I loved the idea of supporting my clients at home, in their own environment, where I would be able to see them most comfortable. And luckily enough, a postpartum workshop was coming up in town. During this time I really started to love posts from a local doula named Ashley. They were also so positive and passionate. She had mentioned she was starting a doula agency in Nashville, and I was inspired by her confidence and loved when she'd update us on the journey. I made a joke one time on one of our groups that I wanted to work for her agency because her enthusiasm was so contagious, and then that thought stuck in my head. Ashley was the liaison for the postpartum workshop in town, so I was able to train right alongside her (and a half dozen other incredible women). During the 10 hour workshop I grew to really feel connected to the birth community in Nashville. I started to see how much we all had in common, but also how different we were. It was such an interesting group of women there that day. 

Once I left the workshop and headed out on my 1.5 hour drive home, I felt so empowered and so READY! I remember calling my mom and telling her just how affirming it was, crying at the same time. One hour into the workshop earlier that day and I had already texted Mike "This is it. This is TOTALLY it." I felt so emotionally connected to what I was training to do. It was weird and rewarding and awesome and kind of awkward at the same time haha I told myself on the drive home that I was going to contact Ashley about applying for a contract position at her agency, Music City Doulas. While the deadline for applications had passed, I was working to get my ducks in a row so I could submit one anyway. I was motivated regardless, and even if I had to wait until the next round of applications, I knew I would get started on my own path. I was just so stoked to find something I could really give myself to. Then something really rad happened. Ashley's MCD partner, Arielle, messaged me and asked if I might be interested in working with them. WHAT! I totally did a dorky happy dance, y'all. It felt right! Like chocolate biscuits and gravy (Its a southern thing. Try it, seriously!), it just worked.
Music City Doulas, Nashville Doula Agency
So boom! There you go. Last Monday I signed a contract with Music City Doulas! I'm so totally inspired by the other 5 women at the agency. We are a full-service doula agency in Nashville, offering labor doulas, postpartum doulas, and placenta encapsulation (just to name a few!). And for the first time in my adult life, I'll be working for someone, instead of trying to do it all myself. While I plan to scale back on my freelance offerings, I'm doing it because I finally found something that can fulfill me both in passion and in financial stability. And I can do it outside of my house! Good gracious sometimes I feel like a prisoner when I don't get out of that place all day haha So this is big for us. It's going to take a lot of adjustments from every member of our little family. It's been a big few months for us in terms of jobs and changing roles. I know we can do it, because we've already done all of this! Not to mention I've gone from the doula-skeptic, audibly-scoffing naysayer, to devoting so much time, money, attention, passion to the industry. I'm really really stoked to see where this takes me. And if we're talking literally, it will be taking me to Atlanta later this weekend! So if you're around town, give me a shout!

xo KB

26 comments:

  1. My sister-in-law's sister is a doula and I know she loves her job and what she does so much! Good luck to you in this adventure and I hope it works out for you and your family! Can't wait to hear stories!

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  2. This is so great Kaelah! I'm currently pregnant with number two (due in two months!) but after we've settled into a new routine I plan on being trained and starting out as a volunteer doula at the nearby hospital. So excited for your new journey -- hope you share some of it. :)

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  3. Congratulations on finding something you love - that is the very best feeling in the world! Make it work! And best of luck :)

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  4. KAELAH. Holy shit, that is such AWESOME news!!! I'm so proud of you and I have no doubt that you're going to be an amazing doula!! (I'll 100% admit, my first thought was, "If I ever get preggers, I want her to be my doula!" lol but I think we might be a little too close to have that unbiased side ;) but I will totally recommend you all over town!!! haha!) So much love for you + your family, and I can't wait to see where this new career path takes you ♥

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    1. GIRL YES! You know I would LOVE to be your doula when the time comes, but even if you think we're too close, I can put you in touch with the best doulas in town! ;) <3 <3 <3

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  5. Usually just a lurker, but I had to comment because this is so awesome! I got halfway through doula training before life intervened and I have been thinking about going back to it. I'm so happy for you! The world needs more of this! <3 <3

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    1. Thank you so much Teresa! I hope you're able to complete your training! It's so so rewarding!

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  6. Congrats, Kaelah!!! That is very exciting news :)
    How does one go about finding a doulah nearby? My fiancé and I are getting married soon (Halloween!!) and we want to start trying to conceive right away, so I've been curious about all things baby-related as of late. A doulah might be the right fit for me when that time comes :)

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    1. Thank you Justyna! A doula can benefit so many types of clients and births! If you'd like to find someone local to you, try just googling your location and "doula" together to see what pops up on Google! Do a lot of thorough research and schedule a consultation with anyone who interests you! That's the best way to get a feel for who they are and how they can support you! Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I can't wait to follow along!

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  7. Kaelah!! This is amazing. Thankfully, we are in Nashville. When we decide to add a little one to our family I will be looking for you!

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    1. That would be so wonderful, Kaley! I would be so honored to support your family during your exciting new chapter! xo

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  8. I am so genuinely happy for you! I recently learned about postpartum doulas and I thought to myself, now that's something that I could do! Supporting women as they adjust to their new roles as mothers (or as mothers to multiple kids) is something that is so necessary, especially in our culture where "the village" has all but disappeared. I'm so excited for you and I wish you the best of luck in your new path!

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  9. I'm so proud of you and so, so excited for you! You are going to make one incredible doula! I didn't have a doula with Essley, but my sister, who has had some (limited, but still) doula training was by side before, during, and after with nothing but support and only practical advice when I asked for it. I am crossing my fingers so hard that she'll be available to the same before this birth because it makes a HUGE difference. What a wonderful path! I can't wait to hear more. Love you!

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  10. congratulations kaelah! i hired a doula to be with us during the birth of our first next month, and even though i have NO Idea what to expect, if i'm going to actually do this med-free, or end up with an epidural, i feel so much more at ease knowing i have her by my side every step of the way.

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  11. That is awesome!!!!! Congrats! I cannot wait until I find a job that I connect with even 3/4's as much as you are connecting with this.

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  12. That's awesome!! So excited for you!!
    P.S. LOVE your blog. Longtime reader!!

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  13. Before reading this blog post I had never heard of a doula. You learn something new every day. Congratulations and best of luck for your new path in life.

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  14. Congratulations and best of luck! I don't have kids myself, but among friends and family I know several women who would have enjoyed the birth of their children and the time after it if they'd had access to a supportive, non-judgemental doula. How often I've heard the words "I wish someone had told me this before the birth!"

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  15. I am so, so very excited for you! I know after my home birth experience, I so desperately wanted to study to become a doula or midwife so I could pass along the positive experience I'd had. Sadly, I'm not in a place in my life where that's possible, but maybe someday! It is such an amazing calling, and they do such GOOD for the women they support and serve. I think you are going to make a phenomenal doula! <3
    - Mandi / www.lifeinbeta.com

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  16. This is so wonderful! Congrats! :)

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  17. I was hoping you would do a post on this! I'm moving to Nashville in January after graduating nursing school, with the long-term goal of becoming a certified nurse midwife. When I saw you post this on instagram, I was so intrigued. Definitely something I'll have to look into.

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  18. OMG I can't believe I'm just now reading this post! I've followed you off and on for years because so many things in your life resonate with mine and I too became a doula this summer! Birthwork is sick an amazing calling :)

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HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB