// On Being Married To Your Business Partner

On Being Married To Your Business Partner
Some of my friends think I'm crazy... and probably for good reason(s). One of my very best friends in the world finds it absolutely mind boggling that Mike and I can have a happy, working marriage all the while being business partners in every. single. venture. together. I get it, because it does seem a little much at times. But truth be told, I honestly believe the positives greatly outweigh the negatives (at least in our situation).

This was never really our plan - to be business partners. I think at the beginning of almost all new relationships you want to be with your significant other every waking minute of every day (well, within reason). That's never how we envisioned our future. Over the past four years we've been together, my career path has shifted, stalled, and changed directions more times than I can remember. My "passions" in life have been fairly stable, but the journey to get there is still ever changing. Mike was lucky enough to sort of stumble upon his passion (photography) early on in our relationship, so for the past several years I've been able to watch that fire grow inside him. I'd watch him day in and day out, hunkered over his computer, trying to fit as much new information into his brain as possible. The way Mike throws himself into things he loves truly inspires me. I felt motivated and excited just by being around him. Granted I've always been a little jealous at his ability to quickly pick up almost any task at hand, but that sort of aptitude for learning is to have around!

Over time our interests and passions just started to meld into one. He'd take photos for the blog and I'd benefit with blog content while he'd benefit with photography practice. He'd learn a new trade and then teach me. When I expressed my interest in starting a mobile shop here in Nashville, Mike was all about it. Honeybean would not (and could not!) exist without him. Then I picked up my wooden sign paintings and he got all handy with his ways to make them better (He's also the most efficient shipping expert!) We'd each just lend a helping hand whenever and wherever we could. It was convenient and it was effective... and that's sort of what we've always been going for. Once Mike expressed his interest in film photography, we both dove in head first, and because of that we've found something that we truly, truly love. It's another thing we get to share together.
Maybe we really are crazy, and maybe it can't last forever (who knows!), but right now I absolutely love being married to my business partner. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun, but we make it work. One of the drawbacks (for us) is that we're a lot alike on the surface. We both get inspired really easily, and we can often act hastily, but sometimes we need a good swift kick in the butt to get things finished. It's like we suffer from inspirational ADD, if that makes any sense! Another drawback is that we can often find ourselves unmotivated on the same day. Those days usually end up full of naps and Netflix... Or we experience the polar opposite: We can't stop working. Some days at our house are full force from 6am until 1am, and even then it's hard to pull away. I think every self-employed person has those rushes and lulls, but it can get a little messy when it's the 2 adults in a family/household ya know?

The ability to make our own decisions regarding everything business/family related is amazing though. Not to mention we can "take off" or go on the road whenever we'd like. We have no one to answer to but ourselves (Well, and clients!). On one hand I can see how terrifying and "dangerous" (for the lack of a better word) it might be to marry your business partner, but on the other it's the perfect scenario because our priorities are always aligned. We get to celebrate our successes together, and we can help console each other through the failures. Plus the comfort and ability in being able to tell someone when they need to get their butt in gear is nice, too. We're very open in our communication, which is something I think a lot of business partners sometimes lack.

This week was a really productive one for us, as husband and wife, and as business owners. We were able to sit down on multiple occasions and really hash out what we want out of our businesses, life, marriage. We were able to set goals, make lists, and get stuff done. It's days like that where I realize that we truly have the best of both worlds. I can't say there aren't days where I want to punch Mike in the face because he frustrates me (and vice versa), but weeks like this one really put things into perspective. I want to make this last as long as possible. He's not just my husband and he's not just my business partner... he's my life partner. I'm probably just getting mushy at this point... but I feel like I don't get to brag on him enough. He's such a big part of everything I do, every single day. Sometimes I just want to shout out how amazing he is from the rooftop. I thank my lucky stars every day that we haven't grown tired of each other yet. There may come a time when we need more of a break from each other, and if that's the case I truly hope we're able to acknowledge it and take action. I'd never have imagined that I wanted to be with my husband 24/7, but sometimes we surprise ourselves. At least we're always happy to go do our own thing, too. That's basically vital at this point!
Choosing someone to invest time, money, energy and faith into when it comes to business ventures is difficult. You hear the horror stories of friends living and working together, and they always say never go into business with family. Mike is the one person I trust more than anyone else in the world... doesn't it just make sense to be partners? I guess this has just been on my mind a lot lately since we've really been trying to plan ahead. Again, that's not to say that this is the best decision for every relationship, or that it'll be the best decision for ours forever. I don't think we're special snowflakes for making it work because every partnership (in love and in business) takes a lot of work. Right now I'm just really happy with where things are going.

How about you? Have you ever entered into a business venture with a significant other? Or even best friend? I wanna hear about your experiences!

23 comments:

  1. its so nice to hear of situations where this works out. my boyfriend and i are just starting to talk about going into business together, well at least a blog. haha! you're always a shining beam of hope for us out here in the blogosphere <3
    xoxo,
    holly

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  2. This was such a lovely post, and its nice to see that a partnership on all levels can work. I am very much the same when it comes to one day being incredibly inspired and the next day giving up and watching Netflix for hours on end, it's a habit I wish I could break to make things more balanced, but alas that's how it is. I have a music magazine set up that I founded, I wish I could have founded it with someone else so as you said, I could share the successes and failures together, but for now it's just little old me!

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  3. It's so great to hear that you're staying close and becoming closer through your business together. I've wanted to start including my boyfriend on my blog, but I always worry that it'll be more of a pain than it's worth. Then again, my blog isn't a legit business or anything, so we won't be tested all TOO much. Regardless, it's still always reassuring to see people who are partners in all aspects of their life!

    Elyse @ Cuddly as a Cactus

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  4. I think the riskiest things yield the most rewards. It seems logical though to want to go into business with your mate...then it's almost like you automatically have an understanding...and you don't have to pretend to be interested in miles career or try to understand when he's having a bad day at work. You are a part of it and you live it. Also I totally relate to the inspirational ADD. I have a lot of passions and can get distracted when I have a lot of projects that I'm stoked about.

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  5. Beautiful words, great post. I have spent a lot of time thinking about that, because me and my boyfriend will probably have to conquer a similar situation at some point in the future and its given me headaches to think about if this is something we should really try... but after all, who, if not the best person in the world with interests so similar to mine, should be better suited to take on this adventure with me? Your post really gave me hope and made me look forward to this next step even more.

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  6. I have three "jobs" and my husband has five "jobs." We only collaborate on one of those businesses, but it makes sense for us. We are different and we do butt heads, but we balance each other out most of the time. Now, that we're out of the most stressful part with that business, it's very easy to sit down and make changes or decisions within our business. I do miss spending time together when we both get busy with all of our other projects, but we make the time to be together and appreciate those breaks. I'm glad to hear that you guys are so involved and making it work!

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  7. I think it so lovely that you guys work together! You're right, this post was a little mushy but in the best possible way. It must be absolutely amazing getting to spend every day with the person who you love. Personally, I'm the complete opposite. I could never work with my partner, we love each other but we have very different interests and work ethic. We help out with each others interests when we can (I'm so lucky he is willing to take outfit photos for me when I can't be bothered lugging around my tripod) but I cannot imagine working with him - we would drive each other mad!xo

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  8. Awww, y'all are adorable!!! :) I feel exactly the same way about my mister. I think for some people these kind of relationships just work. We have been business partners for about 2-3 years of our 8 years together (5 married) and love it! Actually, we moved in together within a few weeks of being a couple. I know that sounds crazy, but we had been really close friends for about a year before we ever dated. One day I got a 30 day notice at my apartment in San Diego that they would be converting them into condos. I moved in with him temporarily while apartment hunting, and we realized we enjoyed living together! The rest is history!

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  9. My husband and I have a very similar situation. We own/run a video production house together, and we work from home. I can actually count the number of times we have been apart for longer than a couple of hours in the last five years on one hand. I love hearing about others similar experiences because it makes us both feel like we are just a couple of weirdos. All of our friends have separate jobs from their significant other and only see them in the morning, evenings, and weekends. We are constantly getting questions like 'How do you guys not hate each other? I love so and so but I don't think I could be around them pretty much 24/7" I can't imagine us having separate jobs, my husband is truly my partner in everything and it's something I just absolutely love.

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  10. I love this post!! It's so good to hear that it makes you happy. I love the way you said that your plans have changed so many times, story of my life girl! haha. I guess the key to a good relationship is someone that stands by you through your ebbs and flows and evolution. It's so great that you've grown together in your marriage, and power to you!! :)

    xo Becky
    Seductive Mania

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  11. I think as long as you can put your qualities together and make something wonderful, why not? The things you need to be successful business partners are the things you need to make a relationship work too, so I'd go for it if the stars aligned that way! Plus, it's wonderful to be able to see each other grow.

    Sincerely, Dani Rose

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  12. My husband and I have been married 6 years and are now about to open a brick and mortar store together. I NEVER dreamed we would (or could) work together. The good (and potentially bad) thing about working with your spouse is that (hopefully) you're 100% honest with them, whereas you might not be with a coworker at a regular job. That's where compromise and open communication are key. I think working together has strengthened our relationship because it's not just us going to our own separate jobs everyday. We're both working towards the same goal and have the same passion for what we are doing. I can imagine that working with your significant other wouldn't work for every relationship, but I'm glad it's working for you!

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  13. My husband and I are both self employed (with two business each) and we started a biz together a couple months back. Whoa, mama! lol Let's just call this shit Fight Club. I don't think it was a good idea and I already want to buy him out, liquidate the business, and call it a damn day. Working and living together is a whole freaking lot. I'm glad y'all can make it work! We're all good as long as we keep our noses out of the other's biz. We're on the same page with the kids though. One good thing! :)

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  14. I never thought that saying about friends and business ever apply to husbands. We are together for almost 9 years now, just relocated in Tanzania very suddenly and while trying to settle down it comes very natural too be business partners. Then again I never thought coming up with ideas and making them happen with your partner makes you business partners... But it makes sense.

    We spend the majority of time together and I too don't know what I would do without him. I am blessedto have him in my life.

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  15. This is awesome, Kaelah! My husband and I have been together 10 years and pretty much since the beginning have dreamed of having a business togethers. We haven't found what that is yet, but we have always been on that path. This is so inspiring and I loved hearing your story!

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  16. You and Mike make sure an awesome couple in both business and marriage!

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  17. Right now my husband and I are hoping for and working towards a completely shared job/workplace, so it was very interesting to me to read about your experience of working with your husband. Thus far, our jobs have been completely separate, but I'm excited and looking forward to the change that will come when we're working together!

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  18. I am blessed to be married to my best friend for 20 years in June. It doesn't get OLD... it gets difficult at times, but never old. Hang in there! It's the most wonderful adventure you'll ever have!

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  19. I have been blessed to work with my best friend for 20 years (in June...I'm super proud! LOL!) It's not easy, and the bumps are terrifying (seriously!), but so much fun...scary...sad... So worth it! Congratulations on your adventure! You will cherish every moment!

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  20. Great post! I think there is too many failing relationships all around us, you have to take the risk and believe in it when it does work! Also relationships do take work and learning to communicate, and putting the time needed into it is important.

    If it works! don't knock it!


    Barnicles

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  21. I'm late in commenting here, but my boyfriend and I are business partners and have been for the last two almost 3 years -- we love it. This is a first for both of us -- to have this type of relationship -- to share my creative projects with someone so close to me. It's not for everybody and you definitely can't do it with just anyone. It takes a lot of honesty (especially with yourself), the ability to look objectively at yourself as well as honest, kind, and constructive communication with each other to make it work. Here's what we do: www.gritsandsoul.com We write and create together, practice together, and perform together -- we drive each other crazy, we have so much fun, we are frustrated with the other, and we work extremely hard -- we each have our strengths; and especially now that we've played & written & shared so much at this point, we're truly in sync. We have so much fun on the road. It's the most intimate experience I've ever known. We *just finished* our debut album and the feeling when the boxes arrived at our house this past Friday, was amazing! Surreal! We did it together and it was the biggest labor of love. When you share your biggest fears AND dreams with a close friend or partner, it's so rewarding, so special. We've found what works for us and are running with it, remembering to be grateful for every step, encouraging each other through tough times, and celebrating what we have built together. To think, just a year and a half ago, I was working in a cubicle. Now I make my living as a musician and songwriter. Y'all keep up the great work and do what works for you! Love the blog. I'll be glad to send you a CD if you want :)

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  22. Kaelah! Your situation makes me Very jealous! lol. My husband and I have been into creating projects together for years (we've been together for over 13 years). Recently we both jumped in with both feet to start our own businesses. Fourkidslater.com and alteredgoods.com We are always involed in eachother's work. It amazes me when Craig can come up with a new way (and more efficient) to do my projects. Right now we both have to work full time while our little adventures grow into something that can sustain all of the sports equipment, art supplies, and diapers that our monkeys need. Basically your life is my retirement plan! Congratulations on getting it together at such a young age. I am so impressed that you have the courage to do it!
    Bekah

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  23. This is a beautiful story :) Enjoyed reading it.
    I am praying and hoping that I get as lucky as you are in love dept one day :) or maybe soon... :)

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HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB