// A Sappy One





I've been having a time of it lately... Trying to process watching Toby grow up before our very eyes. To think back a year and a half ago now (wow!) to when we got custody... he was so timid and quiet. His personality had yet to really blossom. Now he's constantly on the move. He has reasoning ability and opinions. He understands his actions have repercussions. And he's so very polite (even if it kills me, he'll be polite!)

Now the title "Mommy" is reserved for when he's upset, for whatever reason. In the general day by day I'm simply "Mom" and that's okay. My heart breaks just a little when I think about how much he's grown up. I miss that sweet little chubby face from when he was barely a year old. But at the same time I cherish the conversations I have with him now. My heart swells when he asks to ride along to run tedious errands with me. Every morning he greets me with "Hey mom, want me to check the mail for you?" He'll lend a helping hand at home without even realizing it's typically considered more of a "chore" than simply being kind. But that's just who he is... kind

All of these thoughts and emotions started rushing over me when I picked him up from our bed the other night (where he fell asleep) and carted him over to his room. I laid him down, tucked him (and Jumpy, his kangaroo) in, and kissed his forehead (no need to push his hair back now that it's all gone! Ah, that's a whole other can of worms!) I whispered "I love you" as I started to pull away and he wrestled around and murmured "I love you, too". Well, to be fair it was more of a "eih lohh eh too" haha, but I knew what he was saying. 

He's never going to be this small again, and I'm trying my best to make sure I cherish each and every moment. Even the ones where he's kicking and screaming up a storm because he simply doesn't understand something. Despite how easily I may become frustrated on certain days, I pinch myself constantly because I know just how lucky I am. Mike and Toby have given me the very best gift of all, and that's the gift of being a mom. I wasn't given the gift of motherhood by biology, but that doesn't mean I don't feel it 110% in my heart. Toby has taught me so very much about life in the past year. I know we're in each other's lives for a reason.

What an amazing little man.

34 comments:

  1. I love this. He's a lucky little guy to have such a loving momma.

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  2. Such a lovely post and such a good-looking little man! :)

    Jess xo

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  3. Awwwwww! This was so lovely to read! :)

    You're raising a lovely little boy!

    www.hello-freckles.com

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  4. This post made me well up! My dad was adopted and my dear nan loved him with all of her heart. She idolised him and proved you didn't have to give birth to a child for them to be your own. They become your own by the love you shower on them. I don't think anyone could have loved my dad more than my nan did. I think you're both doing an amazing job - what a cutie!
    Sophie
    X

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  5. He sounds like the coolest little dude Kaelah! You and your husband should be very, very proud :)

    Adrienne
    What Lola Wants

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  6. how beautiful. and what a handsome little man he is

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  7. You're an amazing mom and a wonderful person! Toby is so lucky to have you. And he's so cute!

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  8. This is such a lovely post!
    You're a great mum x

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  9. Aw, I love this and I love that you all are getting to be such a vital part of his growing up - don't you just wish you could slow it all down??? My friends all have kids and I'm shocked to realize some of them are 13 now... one even went to Prom a few weeks ago! HOLY CRAP!!! Time flies. Hug him tight, kiss him often and always let him know how proud you are. You're a great momma girl! oxox

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  10. Well, I cried. You three are amazing.

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  11. Oh Kaelah, you adorable thing! This almost made me cry from how sweet it is. You may think you're lucky, but I'm pretty sure Toby is twice as lucky to have you as his mum. From what you've hinted at in the past, I'm sure you and Mike have given him the stable home that he's always needed. Plus, I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to form a step-parent/step-child relationship. I tell you, you are a superwoman for taking to it so easily! I wish my step-parents were as awesome as you clearly are!

    Becky
    xx

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  12. Oh Kaelah! This brought tears to my eyes! He sounds like he is going to grow into an amazing man and you and your hubby should be so very proud.

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  13. Genuine lump in the throat. Clearly I have turned into a sap. So so sweet.

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  14. This post made me smile pretty big, you are so sweet, and Toby is just adorable. <3

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  15. This was so sweet. I am so glad you guys are a happy little fam!

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  16. This was so sweet! I am so glad you guys are a happy little fam!

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  17. lovely post <3 so sweet
    xoxo

    alice c'n'r
    http://cutenroll.blogspot.it/

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  18. Aww this made me smile so much!

    Lulu xx

    https://www.luluslittlewonderland.blogspot.com

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  19. Wow. What an awesome gift you guys have gotten in Toby. WOW. So amazing. What a sweet heart that dear boy has. Congrats on being his momma!!! SO awesome, Kae.

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  20. Being a mom is the most amazing thing, I am so happy for you that you have been able to experience it <3


    http://robutton.blogspot.com

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  21. This made me tear up. I myself have absolutely no desire to have children, but every time I see a mother who absolutely adores her children like you adore Toby, it touches me. You have a very sweet and loving family!

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  22. I have not read your blog to have known Toby was not your biological child. I am curious to read the story now and will seek it out. I am adopted...and proud. I have the greatest family ever and I'm the one who is close to every leaf, branch, flower and weed on our family tree. What you are giving Toby is an amazing gift. And I understand the blessing of motherhood. I have a 15 month old little boy and I got pregnant by an oops as I was told I couldn't have a child. Here's to being awesome moms and loving unconditionally.

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  23. This made me cry so hard. I can only hope to ever feel like this one day. You are the best <3 I'm so happy for you.

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  24. Kaelah, I just teared up in happy tears reading this. What an exceptionally beautiful post. I love seeing how much little T has blossomed since he came into your lives full-time.
    Congratulations on doing such a great job with such a wonderful kid!
    Hugs from Oz,
    Shann xxx

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  25. This post is so sweet and amazing. Toby seems like a great little man! xxx

    www.squidgymoments.ie

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  26. I'd give 2/3 of the prize to my mother and grandmother because only god knows how much they've sacrificed for me to be where i am. My third would be spent on sephora. Thank you so much for the giveaway!

    I already follow you on bloglovin. My Blog (Just click on my bloglovin icon to check)

    Carmen.lachapel(at)gmail(dot)com (trying to avoid spam)

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  27. Your little family is the cutest! I can't wait to be a mum and reading posts like this makes me even more excited!
    Ashleigh x
    www.ashllyd.com

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  28. What a lovely post, this made me smile so much. :)

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  29. adorable!!! i know what you're going through its tough seeing our babies grow

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  30. So sweet! He's lucky to have a momma like you! xx

    Allie @ callmesassafras.wordpress.com

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HEY! Thanks for dropping by. xo KB