sorry i'm slacking!

so so so so much has been going on! oh my oh my oh my!
ill leave you with the tid-bits! hopefully i can fill
you all in tomorrow?! asl;kdfjas;fjasf.

+ ROBERT PROPOSED TO MY MOM TODAY AT NIAGRA FALLS! i dont care how cheesy it is. i am so incredibly thrilled. i just had a feeling he was going to. i mentioned it to mom and she shrugged it off and laughed. she sent me a text that said "he proposed!" today while i was in forever 21 and i started crying. right there in line to pay and at the cashier. i called her in a hurry and just squealed. they are the epitome of true love. and they are the single reason why i cannot find myself bitter or cynical about love, even after all the bullshit i've gone through. she found at the age of 48... its never too late. holy crap i am SO ECSTATIC! if you know me at all you know i'm obsessed with weddings. and the fact that i get to be there and so involved in this one. ahhh i'm crying now too! a;sldfjka;lsdja;ls SO HAPPY! he's going to be the man to walk me down the aisle when i get married. i had already told my mother months ago that i intended on asking robert, as opposed to my own father. i know their wedding day is going to be one of the most beautiul days ever. my mother is hands down the most incredible woman to ever exist, in my eyes. she's so selfless and giving. and praise the Lord for karma because it's all coming back to her ten-fold. she deserves every single bit of this happiness. i love you, momma!

+ yesterday bryan drove up to help me pack up the rest of the stuff at the old apartment and all that jazz. we ate pizza, listened to Mae, and had a grand ol' time. afterwards i headed to hendersonville and got tattooed for 3 hours. got back in town and watched 3 hours of Friends in bed haha

+ today i ran errands, finished up stuff at Alara, went to murfreesboro, went shopping, hung out with shannon, watched Amalie at her house, got coffee, headed over to Tony's apartment, watched 21, and came back to franklin. here i am at 4am, wide awake. i want to watch more Friends [i'm watching them in order from season 1-10] but its 4:09am and i know i need to sleep soon.

+ tomorrow i will meet up with merissa and we're going to the batting cages! i'm so so so excited! i miss softball sooo much and batting cages are one of my favorite things! oh if only a boy would take me to the cages on a date! that'd be amazing! afterwards i might hang out with elle or if i dont, i'm headed back to hohenwald i think. i need to do some laundry and ill probably hang out with bryan since my parents are still gone.

i promise to have a better entry soon! i have many ~drafts that i just haven't finished yet <3


red head envy

i'm a red head now. not that you can really tell from this picture. the lighting is horrid but whatevz. i dyed my hair for the first time in 5 years today. crazy day, right? i was heavily missing my red hair from high school so i said why the heck not? i also cut a ton of my hair off. i still have plenty but i layered the crap out of it and yeah. anyway. no more almost-black hair. i really wanted it to be more of a "HOLY CRAP!" red, but my hair is so dark i'd have to bleach it first. i'm thinking i'll redye it in a few weeks. maybe bleach then dye. who knowzzz.

life has been crazy busy. but good. i'll have you a proper entry soon. <3

someday we will go...

someday we will go
pack up all we know
climb inside
go for a ride
nothing left to hide...
-hundred little reasons

i've been doing a lot of driving lately. and when you drive solo, you tend to think. a lot. overthink. at least i do. i've also been spending a lot of time with old friends from way-back-when. it's amazing to think how much my life has changed in the past 8 months. how much i've changed myself. things are definitely different, and i've feel like i've been to hell and back again, but honestly i think all of it was for the best. i've learned so much in the past 8 months. vital life lessons to say the least. i've had multiple people tell me they like me better now than before. then i think about that i grow slightly self-concious. "was i really THAT bad?!" we're all headed for improvement.

but i find myself to be much more optimistic about situations. i no longer feel the need to whine and complain 24/7... i just accept the fact that this is just how life is and it is sure to get better.

everything will be okay in the end.
if it's not okay, it's not the end.

i've been much more open to trying new things. i tried mushrooms the other day and loved them. (the actual food, not the psychadellic kind!) baby steps, sure. but in light of everything that has happened to me (new york city, bust magazine, new friends, adventures and road trips), i feel so incredibly blessed. sure, those things are awesome when you've got a 24/7 sidekick with you to experience them all. i'll definitely never forget the many trips adam and i took to california together. over the 2 year span of our relationship we went 4 times. every 6 months. i was able to see my best friend, jessica! i fell in love with the bay area. i rode an airplane for the first time! (amazing to think that was just a little over 3 years ago!) i'll definitely be one to return to aptos in santa cruz. seacliff and rio del mar beach. the boardwalk. capitola. to go see the seals. with or without adam. with or without someone new. just because we close chapters in our life does not mean that the book is over. far from over, my friends.

when i think of trying to find that new "someone", its hard to stomach that we're not all destined for the same sequence of events. people i know who are 19 are getting married, my own first best friend ever is merely 21, she has a 2 year old son, a husband, and she'll be the mother of a new baby girl come november. we're only a month apart! to think that some people younger than i have already donned the role of mother, wife, cook, structure-of-the-family is incredible! i know i'm not ready for that. i run from relationships that work. i find dating to be more awkward than it is rewarding. but at the same time i'm one of those all-or-nothing girls. if we're going to be together, lets be together. but i think thats because after being in such a long and serious relationship, i dont know anything else! i dont know how to ~casually date someone. i know the relationships when the dates are no longer awkward, when you wake up and you dont have a stitch of makeup on aside from the eyeliner thats smeared on your cheeks from sleeping. i know it when you're 100% comfortable with someone. and its hard to imagine getting back to that point with someone when even initially it took so long.

then theres the other end of the spectrum; people like my own mother. oh my word i can't even begin to describe how amazing this woman is. she IS wonder woman. she IS rosie the riveter. she's a self-sufficient machine. she's incredible. if you've been a follower of my LJ for any time you'll know she's hands down my best friend on the planet. but she didnt find her ~true love until she was 48. that was just last year! and they leave in less than 24 hours to road trip to Niagra Falls to spend their anniversary together and drive back down along the coast. to think that she had me when she was 27 years old, raised me until adulthood, and THEN finally met her match. she's had to go through so much alone but holy moly look at her! she's so fierce! i know i owe so much of who i am to that woman. i don't want anyone to pay my way, i dont want to be a housewife martha stewart. i want my ambitions and my dreams and my job. i want to work for what i have because thats exactly how my mother taught me.

pardon, this is getting very long-winded. i apologize. i guess i just get one my little rambles and i just go, go, go! i've just had so much floating around my head. 9 and a half months and i will be back in my city. new york is so far but it's where i've been taken. i assure my family that i cannot see myself raising a family there simply because i can't imagine having grown up anywhere other than the south. my children will appreciate sweet tea and cornbread (even though i hate it) and they'll have the same southern accent i do. then if their dreams take them to a bigger city, i'll let them go.

alis volat propriis
"she flies with her own wings"


bows galore!

these bows are obnoxious, ridiculous, huge, and sometimes overwhelming. i guess it depends on who you are. don't worry, if you dont like them or they're not your cup o' tea, i won't be offended. :) it takes a strong personality to pull them off so i hope the ladies are ready for 'em!

today i officially made profit from my little ~bow selling endeavor. it's a small project but the girls on myspace, etc seem to enjoy them. today i sent off 2 orders and with those two orders, i can officially say that i'm making profit as a business. i have cleared my overhead expenses such as fabric, elastic, thread, etc. although, i guess if we really want to get *technical*, i still have about $230 to go because i invested in a new sewing machine. but that was more of a personal decision than one that was necessary for this business. i uploaded about 17 new designs on myspace today so if you're interested in buying one, please check out my myspace. :D

this is my favorite design. i haven't uploaded it for sale yet,
but its so girly and awesome and great. love!

with every order i try to be as personal as possible so i always include a handwritten letter and a receipt so that you can send in the receipt with your next order and receive free shipping! yay! and for every 5 people you refer that buy a bow, i send you a bow of your choice :D we all love free things!

i'm thinking of making a website for the bows but i'm a little limited on time. for now an album on my myspace will just have to work :)

and one of me, just for good measure. :)

i'm off to hohenwald to see my cousin amy! i'll be around and about but without a good solid stable source of internet until saturday :) wow, that was a lot of adjectives haha....


bicycle bicycle

"i want to ride my bicycle,
i want to ride my bike..."
~ queen

in the age of hipsterdom, bicycles have definitely become cliche... vintage bikes and beach cruisers, especially. however, cliches aside, i do not care. i want one. and i am on a quest to acquire one. preferrably one i can strip down and paint and adorn with a basket on the front. my new home sweet home is less than a mile from campus and the scenery of downtown franklin on the way there is beautiful.
biking is one of my favorite things to do and when i didnt have a bike of my own, i'd settle for biking at the gym (although it never compared). i would do 30 miles a day, 3 or 4 days a week. now when i try to bike, i can get so far as maybe 5 or 7 miles and my butt is numb and my legs ache. getting back to it is much overdue. my first order of business will be to hit up goodwill and our thrift store in downtown franklin. if the two of them prove uncsuccessful, i shall venture elsewhere. wish me luck!


things i love this week

ten things my heart adores...

1. care packages. carefully assembled packages from people down the street, across the country, or on the opposite side of the globe. the best ones always include a handwritten letter, a trinket or two, photographs and yummy treats like foreign candies or a handcrafted goodie. [anyone interested in being package pen-pals?!]

2. the most comfortable bed in the world. this title belonging to my own, of course. then again i may just be biased. however, this also has its downfalls... i find it almost impossible to tear myself away from the coziness of the 15 million pillows surrounding my body. in order to be more productive, i may need to invest in a slightly LESS comfortable bed.... psh. yeah right.

3. schuyler fisk. specifically her song "from where i'm standing"... you should listen to it. not to mention the lovely graphic design of her myspace page. whoever designed it did a darn good job. i approve. and to think she was the girlfriend of "Shaun Brumder" in the 2002 movie Orange County.. crazy day!

4. sewing. it's so therapeutic and i'm so glad i've gotten back into it. my poor machine sat all alone and gathered dust for far too long. even if the projects i've been working on have been juvenile and small, they're still a step in the right direction. and it's a creative endeavor.

5. zyrtec. in the height of the summer season in the sticky south, this is my ~magic pill, as i like to call it. my mother just supplied me with a new bottle and i carry it everywhere i go. having struggled with horrid asthma and allergies all my life, i can truly testify on this pill's behalf. 20 minutes after i take the pill i'm a brand new person. and it really DOES last 24 hours. amazing!

6. vintage band shirts on ebay. this new baby was just bought this week. i'm patiently awaiting it's arrival to my front door. i probably will never take it off...

7. vintage interiors. need i say more? mix-and-match, distressed materials and a hodgepodge of styles. sounds like heaven to me.

8. cohesive package design. how beautiful are these??! package design will always be something i wish i was better at, but regardless i enjoy it to the ends of the earth and thank the Lord for amazing designers and teachers such as Ryan Myers. i definitely spend more than my fair share of time perusing sites such as DieLine and Lovely Package.

9. the Apple + Z button on Macs. as any designer, or any Mac user, will tell you... there are many times in life you find yourself wishing you could just "Apple + Z" it and undo what you just did. whether it be an embarassing remark or tripping over your own feet... the world would be an interesting place if we were given the opportunity to just click undo.

10. tennessee. home. nothing compares. no matter how much time i spend in new york city, or how many cities and countries i can travel to, nothing will be quite as 'home sweet home' as tennessee. lush green hills and summers so humid you curse mother nature herself. time spent sipping sweet tea or lemonade from a mason jar and riding your bike down the rural roads... nothing can replace that. i know i'll travel many places in my lifetime and i know i want to be culturally aware... but i know in my heart of hearts that i want to raise my children in the south. i want them to appreciate life in the not-so-fast-lane before venturing out on their own. i think of my childhood and i wouldnt change it for the world. it wasn't storybook perfect, but i wouldn't have it any other way. also, the fact that this gorgeous bridge is only a few miles from my home is utterly amazing. the view is breathtaking. especially at sunrise and sunset.

home sweet home.

just a little inspiration dump.
all about some home sweet home style.
i'd love to come home to any of this.
throw my keys on the table.
sprawl out with a good book and some sumatra coffee.

you're in my heart...

i believe this to be 110% true.
a singing bird will come...

an attempt...

it's a dreary day in downtown franklin. the rain is steady and the sky is overcast. i treated myself to a manicure and pedicure today. every girl deserves a little relaxation; to be a little spoiled. the yucky weather has locked me away in my quaint house and i'm sitting in the dark living room listening to the rain and halfway watching Roseanne. this weather makes me realize i need to invest in a good pair of rain boots. i definitely needed them in new york city so it'll be nice to have a pair for my return in the summer.

things are happening, friends are being met, plans are being made. the rest of my summer will be a great one; even if there's only three weeks left. tonight i will venture fifteen minutes north to nashville to see a few friends. meet a few new ones. and hopefully it will include more people than planned. tomorrow i shall either spend the evening cooking dinner for a lovely fellow and enjoying a new bottle of wine, or i will drive 60 miles southwest to see my cousin i haven't seen in a while. she's currently going through a rough time and is finding herself the soon-to-be single mother of a baby. i want to be there to support her in any and every way possible, especially seeing as so many people are doubting her. she's only 6 months older than i. definitely at a place where i couldn't even begin to entertain the thought of raising a child, much less raising one alone. regardless of how my day ends up, i know it will be enjoyable.

next sunday, my best friend shannon and i are loading up and heading out for a road trip. we're going to st louis, missouri for a day or two, joining up with some friends on warped tour and venturing with them to kansas city. we'll stay there for a couple of days and then drive home. it's going to be a long trek.

my parents leave this sunday for niagra falls! how exciting! its their anniversary and i know they'll have so much fun! also a roadtrip for them. they'll come down the atlantic coast on the way home. i'm so happy for them.

i'm finally at a place in my life where i'm so so thrilled and happy and sometimes when you feel like this, all you can do is cry. its so strange how that works. everything is perfect, but all you can muster is tears. its a good cry, though. i'm so excited about life.