tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post7841543329792324383..comments2024-03-07T07:04:39.054-06:00Comments on This Charming Life by Kaelah Bee: // I Gave Up On Breastfeeding... And We're All Happier Because Of Itkaelah beauregardehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02296368974798527373noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-82532508738829522732014-10-23T14:32:38.430-05:002014-10-23T14:32:38.430-05:00I'm so happy I stumbled upon this blog post of...I'm so happy I stumbled upon this blog post of yours. I gave birth to my daughter in August and I desperately wanted to breastfeed as it didn't work out with my older son. Unfortunately, she wasn't interested and didn't eat the first 24 hours. We finally got her to eat a bit before we left the hospital but once we got home things went down hill. I started pumping and that was working well but my supply started to drop from hormones and the stress of taking care of two kids on my own (my SO is out of town a lot for work). I started to associate pumping with stress and anxiety to the point where it became something I dreaded. Eventually we decided it was best to switch to formula but I was filled with such guilt that it took over a week for me to even be able to stop pumping (even though I was only pumping only a couple ounces a day). I'm still filled with guilt so it's nice to hear other moms that have struggled and come to terms with their decision. I too feel like the stigma of bottle feeding is overwhelming but I think it's important to focus on your message that we're providing our children what they need and that's the most important thing.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08750474449150784480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-38546451485996189272014-10-22T12:03:46.193-05:002014-10-22T12:03:46.193-05:00Thank you so much for posting this. Your honesty i...Thank you so much for posting this. Your honesty is so breathtaking and SO empowering for other women. The standards set up by our culture can be so damaging and the guidance around important things like birth, breast feeding, self care do not lend themselves to our journey. I have so much to say about this but I doubt there's room. I'll hold space for you mama, and everything you're going through. I've been there (pretty recently) and still struggle with my feelings about it almost 2 years later. We are GOOD MOMS. We were born for this. <3Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04211162295970981793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-51645287800544975792014-09-18T15:20:11.796-05:002014-09-18T15:20:11.796-05:00Catching up on your blog and, WOW. Your posts on L...Catching up on your blog and, WOW. Your posts on Linden and motherhood are so candid and beautiful. It sounds like you're making a lot of good, thoughtful choices. :)steph r.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13612030747169497297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-51707845675344252142014-09-15T19:40:56.832-05:002014-09-15T19:40:56.832-05:00First of all - the older women who gave you stink-...First of all - the older women who gave you stink-eye at the mall ?? They are morons!! (sorry, but true LOL) The best thing to remember (all through the years) is this: Do what works, and what makes your family HAPPY !! In child-rearing (as in life)... it rarely goes as we expect it too :) But that's ok........sometimes it goes even better darlin'!!Twinkle Terriorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14066948053622078820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-16929839589991841912014-09-15T07:24:26.345-05:002014-09-15T07:24:26.345-05:00Oh, it's so hard! Breastfeeding is one of the ...Oh, it's so hard! Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I've ever done--and I'm saying that as a mother whose infant had a great latch...and it was still so, so hard. We were able to keep at it for 6 months before I drew the line in the sand--I was exhausted (baby not sleeping), back to work fulltime and pumping, and I was stressing over supply to the point that I was starting to lose it. So from that point on we lived happily ever after with the help of formula, and I have not regretted it one day since. Healthy/happy mom, healthy/happy babe! I'm not usually a blog-linker in a comment, but oddly, I just wrote about my experience with breastfeeding last week: http://thefledglingmatriarch.blogspot.com/2014/09/holding-on-and-letting-go-breastfeeding.html<br />katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15440454045238815812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-46245526348802856122014-09-15T04:17:33.429-05:002014-09-15T04:17:33.429-05:00I got stink eye from old ladies for breastfeeding ...I got stink eye from old ladies for breastfeeding in the dr's waiting room. You really can't win! <br />It makes me sad that mums are judged so much by other mums. As long as baby's tummy is full and he's happy, that's all that matters. Doesn't matter whether its from the breast or a bottle. You are a great mum for realising that and not torturing yourself by trying to carry on breastfeeding :)<br /><br />Joannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-61451479722090335442014-09-14T15:34:23.259-05:002014-09-14T15:34:23.259-05:00Thank you for sharing <3
I think as parents we ...Thank you for sharing <3<br />I think as parents we can spend our entire lives feeling guilty about every single thing, but we have to accept that not only we're not perfect -"perfect" doesn't exist. You do the best you can with what you have at the moment to provide the best life you can for your family, and I think that should be your (and not only yours) mantra. If you are genuine with yourself and know that you're doing your very best in order to give your lilttle guys everything they need and everything that you feel is important - that is good enough, to say the least. :)MoranShahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06389047562227226020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-38149748493793293592014-09-13T22:06:41.920-05:002014-09-13T22:06:41.920-05:00Let's try this again...I couldn've written...Let's try this again...I couldn've written this myself! I didn't hold out as long, but I too made the hard and easy decision to bottle feed. I felt guilty for a while, but then I realized I was a better mom for not stressing and hating every feeding. Kuddos to you for realizing your role as momma was being inhibited by the difficulty of BF. Hugs to you for making the right choice for you and YOUR family!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04730158452330198630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-56697775530823370102014-09-13T20:14:46.634-05:002014-09-13T20:14:46.634-05:00Your post couldn't have come at a better time....Your post couldn't have come at a better time. I too am struggling to breastfeed my 5 week-old baby (she was premature) and have been exclusively pumping/bottle feeding since she was born, all while trying to get her to transition to the breast. Needless to say, we're not having much luck. I was feeling down in the dumps at the possibility of switching over to formula (my supply simply cannot keep up with her growing demands!) but your post is a reminder that the most important thing is that the baby gets fed, the method be damned. It's kinda funny I'm feeling dejected about this because my oldest was also formula fed at an early age (for different reasons) and today, she's a intelligent, funny, happy 3 year old! You did the right thing, for your baby, for yourself and for your family. Thank you for sharing your story - it reminded me I'm doing the right thing too. :)Jennahttp://itsjenna.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-23524825804917076122014-09-13T17:48:27.263-05:002014-09-13T17:48:27.263-05:00just in case this is of any interest at all to you...just in case this is of any interest at all to you, a last ditch for low milk supply<br />http://www.lact-aid.comlaurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11602828189926013499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-51942242044325103892014-09-13T10:50:15.047-05:002014-09-13T10:50:15.047-05:00Good for you, Lovely. I think breastfeeding is rom...Good for you, Lovely. I think breastfeeding is romanticized, like so many postpartum issues seem to be. It's not always easy, it's sometimes really challenging, and the "best is best" propaganda can be just awful when you're already beating yourself up over something you know you shouldn't be beating yourself up over. Babies! Good grief. :)<br /><br />I'm proud of you (is that weird...? I don't mean to sound patronizing. At. All). I love that you took stock of all of your experiences and your incredibly valid feelings and made a decision that was best for you and for Linden and for your whole family. Bottle feeding is a beautiful thing! Now you have peace of mind and a lot less stress. I think that's awesome. :) And the stink-eye-ers? They can go away. They can stop judging things they know nothing about. They can offer compassion instead of condemnation. I have a string of four letter words adding up in my head that I will save for my own muttering, but few things make me as angry as people who don't support new parents, whether it be because of differing opinions in childbirth, or breastfeeding, or diaper choices, or every other element of doing the best you can for you and your family. It's difficult enough, sometimes, to jump into this world with both feet, you don't need assholes judging you for something they know nothing about (because their experiences will always be different from yours, even if they're similar). <br /><br />I think you're wonderful and you guys are doing just so awesome. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10077778772596357680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-70600319505673052742014-09-13T10:24:37.439-05:002014-09-13T10:24:37.439-05:00I have always been an advocate for doing what'...I have always been an advocate for doing what's best for you and your family. I find breastfeeding wonderful and amazing and difficult and I know that it's not for everyone. I think it's pretty wonderful that there are options out there for people who need something different. At the other end of the spectrum, I've seen that there's just as much of a stigma attached to breastfeeding as there is to bottle feeding. If I feed my baby in public I get all the dirty looks. I think it's wonderful to do what works for you so keep it up! suerosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04394064378633496308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-82167697377555582642014-09-13T07:39:27.417-05:002014-09-13T07:39:27.417-05:00Thank you so much. This post is exactly what I nee...Thank you so much. This post is exactly what I needed to read. I, myself, am struggling with breastfeeding and bottle feeding seems like the best route for me right now. Although my 3 week old wasn't losing weight, breastmilk wasn't satisfying her and it breaks my heart. There are days when I still feel inadequate because of it and seeing my mommy friends successful at it doesn't make me feel good about myself at all. I just need to keep reminding myself that a happy baby makes a happy mommy :)<br /><br />Btw, you're kicking ass as a mom. xo.lchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07488647202010859482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-31755388354644534952014-09-13T06:07:14.456-05:002014-09-13T06:07:14.456-05:00Thanks for sharing, Kaelah. I'm sure this post...Thanks for sharing, Kaelah. I'm sure this post will be so, so helpful for future moms. It's such a difficult time and we need all the encouragement and support we can get. I remember searching for posts just like this when my daughter was born. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks but I believe you've made the right decision. Choosing what's best for your family as a whole is so important. Stay strong! You're doing an amazing job.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03013800973361860657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-51491846869146500652014-09-13T05:45:47.365-05:002014-09-13T05:45:47.365-05:00Even as someone who isn't a mother (but has a ...Even as someone who isn't a mother (but has a lot of friends who are young moms) I really do feel like our society as a whole really pushes the "pro-breast" idea, when really, we should be "pro-Mom." It was really brave of you to make this post, since I think that, as proven by your stink-eye-giving old ladies at the mall, people are so quick to "judge" the choices that other mothers make about their children. Linden is your baby and YOU and MIKE know what's best for him and the rest of your family. If the best choice is a bottle, then so be it! Linden is just adorable and I'm so glad that you are enjoying him!<br />Keep on doing what you're doing, Kaelah! Much love :) Maggiehttp://timeofyourlifehuhkid.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-22837765928032259112014-09-13T05:12:47.378-05:002014-09-13T05:12:47.378-05:00I feel that it's a case by case scenario you k...I feel that it's a case by case scenario you know? My best friend had no problems with breastfeeding and did it until her daughter was 18 months, my other friend? couldn't get on with it at all. Happiness is key here! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11681208021197397690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-64645682715784199572014-09-12T21:44:40.452-05:002014-09-12T21:44:40.452-05:00Thank you for inspiring us. Thank you for inspiring us. Modern Day Momshttp://moderndaymoms.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-45887044905780368092014-09-12T19:01:54.193-05:002014-09-12T19:01:54.193-05:00I was the same as you, thought breastfeeding was g...I was the same as you, thought breastfeeding was going to be this natural, beautiful thing that we would just automatically be able to to and while we did it a halo of white light would surround us an angels would sing! Wow what a wake up call it was, breastfeeding is SO hard, painful, frustrating, and not at all like I thought! Linden is healthy, you are healthy, and THAT is all that matters. Kim @ Pages and Pekoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14981751065194125400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-47365714891694137582014-09-12T16:38:08.353-05:002014-09-12T16:38:08.353-05:00Good for you. Give the stink eye back, I say Good for you. Give the stink eye back, I say Jillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18293161415970867966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-27261549208962705812014-09-12T16:28:48.600-05:002014-09-12T16:28:48.600-05:00Love the post and for you being so real about it. ...Love the post and for you being so real about it. I truly think so many people judge women regarding breastfeeding. And sometimes we just aren't able to do it...as much as we really wanted to. Love your blog and think you are amazing!! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06749766456997641614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-73854102827504051902014-09-12T16:19:35.070-05:002014-09-12T16:19:35.070-05:00You tried so hard and you have nothing to feel bad...You tried so hard and you have nothing to feel bad about. You and your baby are now thriving and that is not the main thing, it’s the ONLY thing. <br /><br />You are doing a fine job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-80133669985930451522014-09-12T16:06:19.560-05:002014-09-12T16:06:19.560-05:00Well done you for opening up and sharing on this. ...Well done you for opening up and sharing on this. I am a complete hippy, full on natural birthing, baby wearing, breast feeding, organic baby led weaning, co sleeping advocate blah blah blah. But the breast feeding thing just didn't work for me. I tried and tried and it completely tore me up, I felt like I had failed. Now, three babies on and three fails later (these boobs just ain't meant for milking) I realise that all of the above doesn't matter a hoot. All a baby needs is all your love and as long as it gets that it will grow to be a wonderful person. You are doing a fabulous job, your tears will dry up and then you will realise that you are all that baby needs!!!Em Wildhttp://www.emandthewilds.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-35138919314885536402014-09-12T15:51:38.940-05:002014-09-12T15:51:38.940-05:00Oh, girl!! I am so sorry you and to go through all...Oh, girl!! I am so sorry you and to go through all of that. Its really hard, I have been there! Before getting pregnant or even really wanting to, I practically dreamt about breastfeeding one day for some reason. Remy had a really good latch so I just assumed we would be set! Well spending the second day of your baby's life all alone in ICU doesn't really set you up for success. We were only sent home from the hospital once we had a supplementing option figured out. I was so scared by the anti-formula people that I refused formula. I had a really good breastfeeding friend down the street who brought me some milk to use. Well days later when I thought supplementing would be over, it wasn't. I fought so hard for breastfeeding, on the first day Patrick went back to work I literally sat on the couch for 6 hours straight. I repeated the cycle of nurse-pump-cry-remy cry-nurse- pump,etc. It was torture! And then I developed thrush which was the most painful thing ever. I would cry just anticipating that initial latch. I saw the lactation people every other day. I also was not hungry for weeks like you! I thought maybe it was from the c-section. I brought Remy to a lactation appointment being so sure she was gaining weight and nursing was working, well I cried like a crazy person in the office when I found out she had, in fact, lost weight. <br /><br />It took me being in the hospital the second time around, finding out my body was pretty much fighting just to survive and still could not give up nursing, even though I never really produced anything. I finally was able to let go after one of the lactation ladies at the hospital talking me through it and asking what I was really afraid/worried of about formula feeding. I told her I was worried about not being close or bonding. She told me her first child she breastfed and it was wonderful and how they are so close. She then told me about her 13 year old daughter who is her best friend and about how close they've always been, and also that she was adopted and obviously never nursed. That made it kind of click in my mind/heart that this wasn't the end of the world.<br /><br />I still feel sad about it once in awhile, ESPECIALLY living in the all natural loving Northwest. But I have a healthy baby who is my very good friend already, and she won't care for one second whether or not she was breastfed. <br /><br />Sorry for the novel! Ha Ha I just resonate so much with you and your story, and wanted to say you are amazingvanessa porterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12643671956556610321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-25062508418675166182014-09-12T15:16:16.537-05:002014-09-12T15:16:16.537-05:00Kaelah, this post is amazing. I gave birth to my l...Kaelah, this post is amazing. I gave birth to my little girl Sophie on January 29th, and I too thought that breast feeding wouldn't be all that difficult. But my little girl was jaundiced and tired, and even when she was feeling better, never really latched on very well. So, I tried pumping every two or three hours, and would produce between 50-75% of what she needed. But, my anxiety grew, and my supply dropped, and I developed postpartum anxiety and depression. I also felt guilty and defeated. New motherhood is an amazing, but incredibly stressful time. The most important thing is that baby AND Mama are healthy, and what works best for you and your child is all that matters. Thank you for your incredibly honest and insightful post. Adriennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16682124196868651393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840382153011642380.post-10965555681462564922014-09-12T15:12:35.695-05:002014-09-12T15:12:35.695-05:00I have no babies, but I really love this post. My ...I have no babies, but I really love this post. My little brother (he's like, 22 now, but hey, he'll always be my little bro) never latched onto my mum, but he has always had the strongest bond with her compared to me. It doesn't matter which way you choose to feed your baby as long as it's right for you and your baby. I'd love to breastfeed when I have kids, but bottle feeding is an option too. I like options. High five to you and Linden for working it out :)Joanna.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00239709745748997441noreply@blogger.com